


Gold Skies

by EchoGalen, Godstank



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, Developing Relationship, F/F, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-03-14 20:01:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 81,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3423722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoGalen/pseuds/EchoGalen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Godstank/pseuds/Godstank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla military AU. Laura, a woman with a severe aversion to relationships, is less than welcoming to the new young pilot in her unit, Carmilla, who stirs up new emotions that Laura is scared yet curious to discover. Co-pilot LaFontaine dealing with the birth of their new baby with stay at home mom Perry, and lovable Danny finding herself in this insane world of fly in rescues with the love of her life.<br/>Co-written by Steph (wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (leonard-cohen-the-second.tumblr.com).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gold Skies

**March 3**   **rd**  
**0745hrs**  
**Region of Qatar**

LaFontaine sat cross legged on their bunk, their computer sitting comfortably in their lap. Their face instantly lit up as the screen displayed their fiancé’s beautiful, albeit fuzzy, face. They had only been back out to deployment for about a week, but it felt like an eternity since they had last seen her.

“Hey love,” they smiled warmly, and it grew wider as they looked at the bundle of joy nestled in Perry’s arms. Their voice dropped a few octaves as they spoke: “And hello there you tiny human being.”

“LaFontaine! They have a name.” It had taken them a long while to find a name, both knowing they wanted something gender-neutral. Finally, the young couple had settled on Jamie.

They rolled their eyes. “They can’t understand what I’m saying, Perr.”

“So? They can feel emotions and it affects them just as much.”

“Right, and what emotions is Jamie feeling now, baby whisperer?” the pilot asked smugly as they watched their baby suck its thumb with a face that clearly expressed that they had absolutely no care in the world.

“I would say that they’re confused as to why they only have one mother taking care of them.” Perry wasn’t the kind of person who would purposely make someone feel guilty about their living their dream, but her mouth seemed to have a mind of its own lately. Would it be so selfish to hope that her fiancé would sometimes put their family first?

LaFontaine’s face fell instantly. Their deployment’s timing hadn’t been the best and they could clearly see the bags under Perry’s eyes, but they both knew what they were getting into. “If you need help, Perr, I told you, my brothers are available, and what about your mother?”

She put her head down, her lips curving slightly as she gazed into the smiling face of her baby. “I know, and they has been helping, but it doesn’t replace you,” she readjusted Jamie in her arms and brought the plastic sucker up to their lips; the baby clumsily grabbed at it and plopped it in their own mouth.

“It’s not a question of replacement; they’re just filling out my spot while I’m gone.” Letting out a breath, LaFontaine let their head hang down for a moment, rubbing at the tight and tense muscles at the back of their neck. “This fucking sucks.”

“Language,” Perry replied almost automatically. Though, she would never admit that these were the exact words that entered her thoughts. “It’s hard, when you’re not here.”

“And it’s hard being away. But…”  _I’d be home for a year, not working, and bored to death._ They felt bad for thinking that way, but being part of the military - being a pilot - had been their dream ever since they could remember. They loved Perry, they really did, but putting all of your happiness in one person was not enough, you needed something to be your own, a passion that would make your spirit feel whole.

“I know, I’m sorry sweetie, that’s not - I just - the lack of sleep must be getting to me. I understand.” She did, and she didn’t. When they first started dating, LaFontaine was clear about their intention to join the military, and she encouraged them throughout the whole process, but never did she foresee the consequences of their long absences on their family.

LaFontaine leaned forward, addressing Jamie as they spoke: “You’re gonna take care of your mom for me are ya? Make sure she doesn’t get herself into trouble? Make sure she gets enough sleep?” They watched their baby reaching out to grab at Perry’s cheek with its tiny, chubby fingers and they couldn’t help but laugh, despite the situation. It was crazy how a tiny human that didn’t yet pose a sense of self could easily bring joy in the most dire of situations by simply existing.

Perry raised a single brow, smug amusement written all over her smirk. “Oh? And what exactly happened to the whole ‘they don’t understand what I say’ deal, mmm?”

“Maybe its emotions were telling them that your cheek needing a good patting.” LaFontaine pretended they were talking secretively with the baby, albeit loudly whispering: “Hit her a little harder next time, yeah?”

“You’re a pompous ass sometimes.”

When their laughter died down, she fixed her fiancé with a serious gaze. “I love you, you know.”

This time, her smile reached her eyes. “I love you too.”

They sighed again as they glanced down at their watch quickly. “Alright, I’ve gotta get to chow. Make sure to call the boys if you need anything. Bye bye buddy, maddy can’t wait to see ya.” They waved at the newborn and then winked at Perry when she blew them a kiss, and ended the call.

A sense of dream washed over Lafontaine, every possible wrong scenario taunting her that this could never work. They would make it work, they  _had_ to. If they made it through basic training, they could do this. Though, back then they didn’t have a newborn baby.

Children change  _everything_.

There was no time to mope around, however. Quickly, the pilot pulled themselves together, steeling their emotions with a swift kick to the ass before they hurried to chow hall before there was nothing left. If a plane would crash as soon as it ran out of fuel, so would the human body, and there was nothing worse than being mid-flight sitting on an empty and grumbling stomach.

* * *

 

Laura and Danny were sitting down in the chow hall, eating their breakfast amongst the rest of B and C Company. Things had been pretty quiet lately, at least for the medical platoon. No emergency evac or trauma patients to take care of made the first two weeks a thumb twirling bonanza. Not that they would ever wish for their fellow soldiers to have their legs blown off just so they could work. Okay, maybe they thought about it once or twice (but just about the annoying ones).

They had both enlisted together shortly after high school. College and university hadn’t seemed especially gratifying to them as they felt their calling was in the military. Danny was now a Gunnery sergeant, leading the ground corpsmen while Laura was up to the rank of 1st sergeant, doing air evacs for trauma cases.

They had always been good friends, best friends even, but since they had been assigned to this medical platoon in the Marine Corps four year ago, their relationship had gotten a bit more complicated.

Danny knew Laura didn’t date, especially not since High School, but she also couldn’t ignore the urge to push her up against a wall and kiss her senseless every time she saw her, so after many years of rehearsing a romantic speech (that she totally didn’t use) they settled on casual sex.

Danny recognized her feelings for her longtime friend as something deeper, and getting involved with said person, whom also happened to have raging commitment issues, probably wasn’t the best choice the sailor ever made in her life. Yet the masochistic and selfish part of her would rather have Laura this way than not at all.

But, right now, Laura was talking and Danny couldn’t pay attention because she was way too entranced by the way Laura’s lips were moving. They were much softer than they looked too, especially when they’re on-

“Oh, hey Laf! We thought you weren’t coming for breakfast this morning,” Laura greeted cheerfully, and patted the empty seat next to her.

“I was Skyping with Perr before she went to bed.”

“Oh really?” It could have been just a regular question, if it wasn’t for the mischievous tone in Laura’s voice and her bouncing eyebrows.

“Shut your face, Hollis.”

“Face shutting in progress,” Laura attempted to keep her face neutral as she glanced at the marine from the corner of her eye. “How am I doing?” she asked, trying to keep her lips as still as possible when she spoke.

LaFontaine simply rolled their eyes and playfully shoved her. They dropped their plate down and took a seat before asking: “What were you two losers talking about?”

“I was just telling Danny about the new developments in cancer treatment. I was just going to ask her what she thinks about them,” Laura then turned to Danny, hoping to hear her views on this new therapy.

 _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._  “Oh, umm, well-“

“A-TTENTION!” One of the officers commanded, as the Captain entered the chow hall. Everyone in the room instantly stood up straight, arms rigid at their side with their feet glued together.

Saved by the bell.  _Thank you lord Jesus, baby Jesus, and every God and Deity in this galaxy!_  Only, Danny had stood up so fast she had forgotten to put down her utensils. Just as she thought her embarrassment couldn’t get worse, she heard Laura chuckle beside her.

Danny nudged her. Hard.

“Medical unit: briefing room, five minutes,” their captain stated in a rather thick Texan accent, before turning around and promptly exited the room.

“At ease,” the officer spoke again, and then followed the captain out.

Quiet murmurs filled the hall, until the soldiers picked up their earlier conversations. LaFontaine was the first to speak: “Wonder what’s that about.”

“Open wounds to sow shut,” Laura started in a cheery tone.

“Limbs to amputate,” Danny continued in an more lively tone.

“Oh yes! Tell me more!”

LaFontaine blinked twice, their eyes bouncing between the two corpsmen before making an extremely accurate assessment of their mental health: “You two need professional help.”

Laura grinned as she threw her arm around LaFontaine’s shoulders, “ _Au contraire_ , dear Watson, we’re on our way to give it.”

Laura was happy, Laura was giddy. There was work to be done.  _Yay!_

Danny slapped LaFontaine’s ass as she walked by them, cheering and chanting the word ‘work’ alongside Laura and a few other corpsmen. 

* * *

 

“Meet your new pilot, Corporal Karnstein.” The woman in question was standing beside him, looking at a fixed point above everyone’s head. It was always nerve-wracking to switch units; fear of the unknown could easily turn the most put together soldier into a puddle of stress. But, Carmilla expertly hid any hint of nervousness over the neutral facade of any good marine.

“She will be joinin’ this platoon’s air evac team.”

Laura was not happy, Laura was grumpy. This was unexpected.  _WHAT?_

“Any questions?”

 _WHY. ON. EARTH?_  She gripped her seat harder as her ears started ringing. She felt like she was sitting miles away from everyone else.

A soldier put up her hand, and asked: “What happened to Diego, sir?”

“He was transferred. Any more questions?” The room was silent. He smirked. “Good. Now, to ensure the efficiency of this team, we’ll be runnin’ drills. First up, Karnstein and LaFontaine in the simulator. Ya’ll will be required to run evac drills. In the meantime, make yourselves useful.” He dismissed the group and motioned for the two pilots to follow one of the officers to the training simulator.

Carmilla smiled at LaFontaine as they fell into a stride next to each other. “Looks like you’re the lucky one that’s assigned as my co-pilot.”

“’Lucky one’ isn’t usually what I go by, but it’ll do.”

Carmilla chuckled.  _This isn’t going to be so bad after all._ She held out her hand for the other marine to take, “Carmilla.”

They shook her hand firmly, nodding their one once as they introduced themselves: “LaFontaine.”

She smiled. “Great. Let’s get this show on the road.”

* * *

 

LaFontaine was happy. The last guy was a jerk who not only couldn’t understand the simple concept of using gender-neutral pronouns, but also made it his mission in life to refer to them as ‘female’ every time he addressed them.

The new girl was fun to work with and extremely skilled, they had finished the trial in record time. Let’s not mention the fact that she was a hell of a looker (and yes, they asked her preferred pronouns), with her dark hair, pale complexion and soulful brown eyes.

Not that LaFontaine stared… _too_  much.

After changing into their running shorts and grey t-shirt, LaFontaine made their way to the ocean side, where they had agreed to meet the two corpsmen or a run like they would have gotten in the habit of doing every single day. There wasn’t much to do out here, and apart from the endless desert and sandy dunes, the ocean was this region’s only redeeming quality.

LaFontaine spotted the pair near the water’s edge.

They were sitting close, mirroring each other’s position. Their legs up against their chests, forearms resting on their knees. Laura looked clearly upset about something, her shoulders and back seemed tense (LaFontaine could sort of hear her speaking, but from that far away it all sounded like gibberish).

Danny seemed to try and comfort her, and she lifted her arm up, with the clear intention of giving a hug to the smaller woman. However, when Laura noticed it, she grabbed Danny’s arm and pushed it away in a movement that wasn’t harsh, but not gentle either.

It got her point across.

_What are you doing to yourself, Hollis?_

LaFontaine was fully aware of Laura’s relationship mantra, and perhaps they did understand the woman a little more than they let on, but what they couldn’t figure out was why Laura always distanced herself physically and emotionally when she needed comfort the most.

 _That girl is too self-sufficient for her own good,_ they mused, before deciding that this was a good time to interrupt whatever conversation they were having. The marine started towards them in a jog, choosing to make themselves heard before seen.

“Hey weirdos!” they greeted in their usual fashion. “Slacking off are ya?”

Laura scoffed and stepped down from the rock. “Is that what they call waiting for a slowpoke?”

“Yeah, Okay, Dumb and Dumber, while you two were out here enjoying the view, I was busting my ass out there.”

“Yeah, how’d it go with the new pilot?” Danny asked casually, as she too stepped off the rock and came to stand beside Laura; arms folded over her chest.

“Skilled. Not a jerk,” they glanced at Danny with a slight smirk, “and smokin’.”

They laughed and shared a high five.

Laura rolled her eyes, not joining in her friend’s elation over this new pilot.

Danny sighed, obviously disgruntled, like they’ve discussed this subject over the past two hours, which was exactly accurate. “Give it a rest, Laura. You haven’t even talked to her yet.”

“Look, it’s not that I have anything against her personally, it’s just that I don’t understand why they had to make a change. Diego was fine.”

“He was a complete ass to LaF and you know it.”

“I know, but it-“  _was familiar and comfortable because I knew how he operated and I felt in control. God, I sound like a whinny two year old. Girl the hell up._ She sighed. “Fine, you’re right. I shouldn’t judge her before we even run drills together.”

LaFontaine raised an eyebrow, surprised. “You sick, Hollis?”

A frown. “No, why?”

“’Cause you just admitted to being wrong without spontaneously combusting.”

Danny burst into laughter, loudly.

“Screw you guys.” Laura had a middle finger reserved for both of them. She started jogging backwards, lifting her hands behind her head to tie her long hair in a ponytail. “Pick it up soldiers. You aren’t getting paid to stare at my perfect ass all day,” she said in the deepest voice she could muster before turning around and booking it, even though she knew Danny would sail past her like a rocket in a few moments.

“I wish we were though,” Danny admitted, sharing another high five with the marine.

“Last one to finish shines our boots!” LaFontaine exclaimed as they started after the corpsman, followed by a sprinting Danny.

Laura pushed her legs until they ached.

 _No way in hell_  was she going to shine anyone’s boots today.

* * *

 

The medical platoon stood side by side their respective units with their backs toward the bulky CH-53 helicopter and the rapidly disappearing sun.

 _Of course they’re making us run these drills in the dark_ , Laura thought with an eyeroll.

“This drill will simulate how well you work together, navigate in the dark and successfully perform a rescue in tight spaces. This platoon is our main medical unit, and my job is to get y’all battle ready ASAP. Fail this, and you’ll be lookin’ at kitchen duty for the week.”

Laura glanced at the dark haired woman to her left; jaw set, eyes unmoving, posture rigid. Nothing that the captain was saying seemed to faze her; it was as if she wasn’t listening at all. She didn’t groan at the mention of cleaning duties like everyone else and hardly flinched when the cool night air hit her skin.

Laura scoffed,  _robot much._

“Git it done and git it right,” the captain finished.

A collective ‘Oorah’was loudly belted from all the soldiers before they hurried to their vehicles. Danny huddled with her unit around their armored vehicle, as she went over the briefing notes with them, like she would on every mission.

Carmilla turned to LaFontaine, clapping them on the shoulder lightly. “You got the coordinates?”

“Sure do,” they smiled brightly.

Carmilla nodded, and both marines carried out a thorough inspection of the aircraft, as was required before every flight.

When they finished, LaFontaine climbed into their seat and set the headset around their neck. They turned, looking back at Laura who was currently double checking her medical supplies. “Yo, Hollis,” the pilot called out, returning the smile they received when the corpsman turned to face her. “Ease off the homicidal glare on the new girl, yeah? Her BDU’s about to catch fire.”

Laura arched up an eyebrow. She scribbled down a number on her notepad, and asked with feigned innocence: “Aren’t they fireproof?”

“Look, all I’m saying is-“

Carmilla entered the aircraft, seemingly unaware of the conversation going on as she took a seat as she addressed her co-pilot: “Start her up, Gunny. We’re ready to fly.”

LaFontaine gave the sergeant one last look before turning in their seat and giving Carmilla a smile and a nod. They plopped their helmet over their head, subtlety trying to catch the woman’s expression to see any indication that she heard their conversation with Laura. As usual, Carmilla’s expression was stoic, albeit a little lighter now that she was about to fly.

The marine recognized that familiar sentiment. Being here felt right. Just…right. The Stallion’s rotators started, filling the otherwise quiet night with noise loud enough to make it impossible for one to hear themselves think. But to them, it sounded as sweet as a lullaby.

Carmilla put on her helmet and flicked a few switches on. “Coms up. LaF?”

Their voices came through scratchy and a little muffled through the mics. “Yep.”

“Hollis?”

“Loud and clear.”

The pilot made sure that the rest of Laura’s medical crew and the ground units’ coms were up and running. When she received positive answers from everyone, she flicked on a few more switches. “Base coms up. Steel Alligator to base, do you copy?”

“Base to Steel Alligator, we copy. Coordinates entered. The airspace is clear. You’re ready for liftoff.”

“Roger that.” The darkness was bathed in a soft green hue in front of her eyes as Carmilla flipped down the infrared goggles on her helmet. She then took hold of an overhead handle and pushed it forward slowly, bringing the engines and the rotors to full speed. The pilot slowly pulled on the joystick and the helicopter lifted up into the air smoothly, as if it didn’t weight close to 10 tons of massive battle ready steel.

LaFontaine squinted slightly as their eyes bounced between the compass on the console to the papers in their hands. They then quickly calculated a route to maximize speed and avoid flying against wind resistance. “Take it up to 40 degrees west. We have about 20 klicks of clear airspace ‘till we hit the mountains.”

“You got it.” The pilot adjusted the aircraft, glancing down at the desert terrain passing them by; nothing below them, nothing to catch them if there was a fail in the mechanical system. And, oddly enough, it was in that moment that Carmilla felt the most at peace, like it was exactly where she was supposed to be. It was the paradox of losing complete control, yet gaining it at the same time.

She couldn’t be happier, and then Laura’s voice filtered through her headset:

“You might want to consider flying lower,” she suggested.

“What for, sarge?”

“Power lines.”

Carmilla raised a perfect eyebrow, though no one could see it. “Look around, we’re in the damn desert. There isn’t a power line for miles.”

“And what if we were doing a mission in an area that had some?”

“Then I’d fly  _higher_ , not  _lower_.”

LaFontaine interjected, hoping to cut the tension before it escalated any further. “Um, I don’t think that matters right now guys. This drill is to test our speed.”

Laura scoffed audibly over the microphone. “Hear that,  _Karnstein_?  _Speed_. What we  _totally_  don’t have right now. The soldiers have time to bleed out five times before we even get there.”

 _Oh, you fucking…_ Carmilla clenched her jaw and pushed the joystick forward and down, roughly propelling the nose of the aircraft downwards and thus increasing the traveling speed. “That good enough for ya, cupcake?”

“Are you  _INSANE_?” Laura yelled as her hand clutched the overhead racks when her body shot forward.

“No, but you’re quickly driving me there,” the pilot replied between clenched teeth.

The sergeant fixed her helmet, her anger now well past the boiling point. “I was just trying to be helpful!”

“There is  _no_  such thing as a _helpful_  backseat driver.”

“Then maybe we should switch,  _driver_.”

“Guys,” the co-pilot lamely attempted to get their attention.

“You wanna fly, Hollis? Be my fucking guest.”

An exasperated groan passed Laura’s lips, “you’re such a child!”

Carmilla snickered, a smug smirk on her lips as she quickly responded with: “I’m not the one yelling like goddamn banshee.”

“GUYS!”

“WHAT?” Carmilla and Laura both yelled back in unison, turning their attention to the co-pilot.

“Mountains ahead!” They exclaimed.  _Well, this is it, this is how I die. I’ve lived a good life._ They closed their eyes tightly, bracing themselves for the oncoming impact.

“Oh  _fuck me_ ,” she pulled the joystick towards her, the nose of the aircraft pointing upwards as she maneuvered the helicopter up and around the mountains. The ‘injured’ soldiers had lit up a flare just at the base of said mountain, which they flew right over in their attempt to avoid collision. Carmilla made a tight 360 degree turn and was able to stabilize the Stallion to a hover just above them.

Even though they completed the mission, three out of the four survivors had died from blood loss and trauma. When they returned to base, Carmilla was the first one to jump out of the helicopter, helmet in her hands as she stomped towards the corpsman, stopping a foot away from her and effectively pushing Laura back against the helicopter’s body. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Laura, to stand her ground, took a step closer, which was impossible considering the woman was practically pressed against her. “That was your fault Karnstein!”

“My fault?!” Carmilla growled, “you wouldn’t shut the fuck up two seconds and let me do my fucking job!”

Her fists clenched tightly at her sides. “Well maybe if you did your  _job_ , we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now!” Laura saw it in the other woman’s eyes, the sudden change. Brown eyes lost their fire, and something else replaced it, as the woman’s eyes searched her own. It looked like recognition maybe - what was she seeing? Laura gulped.

Carmilla understood. Her shoulders deflated as her muscles relaxed. Her voice took a softer tone as she said: “you can’t control everything, Hollis.” She was still angry, livid, yes, but she had the upper hand now.

“ _Fuck you_ ,” Laura smaller woman spat out. She watched as the marine’s mouth changed from a snicker to a snarl and her arm raise up as Carmilla smashed the helmet in her hand against the body of the aircraft, just beside her head. Laura stared, unseeing, at the pilot’s retreating form with wide eyes and a heaving chest.

Darkness clouded her vision as a sudden tightness in her throat made every breath feel like there was a ton pressing down against her chest.  _No, no, no, no, no, this can’t be happening right now._  Closing her eyes, Laura took deep and even breaths. After a while, a very slow while that made her feel like she was falling into eternity, her heart beat began to slow down.

She jumped as she felt a hand touch her shoulder. When she opened her eyes, she saw Danny wearing a worried expression. “Laura, are you okay?”

She blinked a couple of times and turned to look at Carmilla, whom was barely visible in the distance. “That’s coming out of your paycheck!” Laura yelled at the woman’s back.

Carmilla’s arms flew up in the air as she continued to walk, her middle finger proudly extended for everyone to see. Though, it was clear that it was aimed at one person in particular.

* * *

 

Later that night, Laura was sitting on her tiny twin bed. Her back rested against the wall as both of her hands held up Stephen King’s most recent novel in front of her face. She was engrossed just a few minutes ago - had been paying attention to every word – but a few minutes ago, she wasn’t thinking of Carmilla and how completely infuriating the young soldier was.

A few minutes ago, she wasn’t reliving the day’s events and thought about all the numerous ways Carmilla could have done things differently to prevent the near crash (in ascending order according to Laura’s degree of annoyance for said ‘mistake’).

Right now, however, she sat on her twin bed, clutching to the book and seething with such rage that the previously unruffled copy of  _Revival_  could burst into flames and disintegrate in her hands at any given moment. For a moment she thought there was an earthquake, but she soon realized she was the only one that was shaking.

She contemplated going for a run, yet the warm feeling that settled at the pit of her stomach quickly convinced her she was in the mood for another kind of physical release.

There was only one name on her mind, in that moment.

_Danny Lawrence. Majestically tall, gorgeous best friend that I just so happen to have a totally free, no-strings attached arrangement with._

Laura couldn’t pinpoint the time in her life where she had an actual relationship – except that six month she actually dated Danny in high school. Though back then even if Danny would have been right for her, the circumstances weren’t. They never were, Laura thought solemnly.

She liked her arrangements: she’d set the rules and cut the ties whenever she felt like it. No hassle, no trouble.

She had discussed casual relationships with LaFontaine before, and of course they had a very different view than she did, but Laura remained a little troubled that something which came so natural to her was a foreign concept to others.

Why should she get judged for having her own views on relationships? Just because society identified it as a lust ‘problem’ didn’t mean that it didn’t feel  _right_ to some people, like sexual preference. In fact, Laura firmly believed that the world would be a better place if we would all stop blaming lust for our sexuality and sexual activities.

_Besides, being in the military leaves little place for the possibility of family life…except LaFontaine and Perry, they’re different; they’re in love._

Not wanting to ponder the very complicated nature of the word and the feeling of love any longer than she needed to – which was usually just about a second before she got queasy – Laura tossed her book somewhere on her bunk and quietly made her way out of her room (though she wasn’t sure it was big enough to earn the title of ‘room’).

In no way did this mean that she hated love, nor did it allude to the fact that she had never felt it in her life. She just felt that it wasn’t for her.

Laura padded down the long hallway, occasionally running and letting herself slide onto her socks (she had discovered months ago that they were made out of the most slippery material known to man).  _Trust the military to patent something so useless_ , she silently joked as she made, or slid, her way down to the third door from her own.

A distance she had grown very used to traveling.

She knocked once and quietly closed the door behind her after she entered the identical room. She could see that Danny had sat up in her bunk, and without taking the time to utter a simple hello, Laura clipped onto the bed and into the other woman’s lap.

Danny barely had the time to have a single thought when Laura’s tongue was licking its way into her mouth and both of her hands palmed her breasts. She attempted to speak the girl’s name between the sloppy kisses, but Laura wouldn’t let her.

Small fingers wrapped themselves around Danny’s wrist, dragging the hand they clinged to down into Laura’s pajama bottoms and crossing the band of her underwear where they found the familiar warmth of her arousal.

Laura’s fingers pressed into the soft skin of Danny’s wrist as she began to move her hips and grind against them to create the friction she felt she desperately needed. Her forehead fell against Danny’s chest, her breath coming out in short bursts against the soldier’s cool skin, and caused goosebumps to appear – which Laura would have seen if her eyes had been open.

She made little to no sounds as she rode Danny’s fingers to a quick climax. She only realized that her eyes had been tightly shut when she finally opened them after catching her breath. Laura Looked up into the redhead’s mostly obscured face and quickly moved her head sideways, feelings Danny’s lips press against her cheek instead of their intended destination.

She could feel Danny’s frown without needing to see it, so she kept her head down to hopefully hide the fact that she felt guilty for not feeling guilty. Kissing was intimate, kissing during and after the act made it seem like something more – like love maybe. Laura wouldn’t know. One thing she was sure of, however, was that she didn’t want that depth of intimacy added into their arrangement.

The lines of casual physical relationships were often blurred by these simple actions, but Laura was good at keeping the lines straight and visible. She was comfortable when she could see them, and if she ever felt like she was losing sight of them, she would high tail it in the opposite direction and never look back; like deer who had heard rustling leaves.

Danny settled back onto her elbows, putting some distance between her and Laura. Even though it was almost pitch black, she was wary that the hurt on her face would still somehow be seen. “Carmilla’s got you worked up.”

Laura frowned and shook her head, her words coming out quickly and harshly: “What?  _Ew, Danny_ , she’s like the most  _infuriating_ human being on this  _planet_. How could you possibly think for  _one second_  that-“

Danny chuckled low in her throat; there was something endearingly cute about Laura’s angry outburst. Maybe it was the way her nose crinkled or the sudden spark of interest in her eyes and movements - which is something she’d never be able to tell her. So, instead of sighing dramatically at her own her pathetic emotions, she decided to cut her tirade a little short. “I meant that you looked…tense today.”

“Oh.” Her voice was back to being soft, barely audible. She smiled slightly, chancing a look at the other Marine. “Yeah, well, thanks for...y’know.” _You have absolutely no right to feel bashful after you literally just had sex. It’s Carmilla’s fault. Carmilla, and her inability to take constructive criticism, not to mention her total disregard for ranking authority._

“No problem.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Danny contemplated her next words and after a moment of silence she said: “Why don’t you stay? It’s late.”

 _Didn’t we just talk about this? Or right, that was just me._ Laura rolled her eyes, her walls coming back up in an instant as she casually dismissed the proposal: “Danny, my room is literally twenty feet away.”  _And that would be a total breach of contract._ That bit she kept to herself though. She had discussed this with Danny before, they didn’t need to go over it again like they were studying for a test or something.

Laura rolled her eyes again.

Danny hesitated as she came closer, “Well…maybe I want a little somethin’ somethin’ too.”

She thought about it for a moment:  _reciprocating pleasure is within the guidelines._  “Fine, but I’m not staying.” She pushed Danny onto her back.

“Fine.” She felt her shirt being pushed up and her boxers being pushed down at the same time. The corpsman had little time to wonder how someone with such a tiny wingspan managed to accomplish this because Laura’s mouth was on skin and she had a hard time remembering where she was.

Laura returned to her room exactly seven minutes later.

 

 


	2. You're in my Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dishes, drills, and fights. What could go wrong?
> 
> Co-written by Steph (wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (leonard-cohen-the-second.tumblr.com).

**March 12th**  
**1950hrs**  
**Region of Qatar**

“Well, how did you like it?” LaFontaine asked as their hand moved furiously across a plate. They weren't positive, but they were almost certain what they were trying to scrub off was the remnants of meat loaf.

Laura hummed her agreement without looking up, in truth her mind far from the lullaby LaF had just been singing to them, her eyes pinned on her own dish.

LaFontaine sighed. “Okay, what do you think about it, Lawrence?”

Danny's long hair was pushed back for the umpteenth time with the back of a hand, why she had not brought a band to keep it up with who knows, and replied, “I like it. Is that for Jamie?”

The beam that shone off of their smile lit up the dismal kitchen and they said, “Sure is! Perr was saying how the little human wasn't getting to sleep so maybe a song would do it, ya know. I mean-”

Laura sighed loudly, cutting off LaFontaine effectively. She devolved back into her silence almost immediately though the strokes with the scrubber were bordering on possibly breaking the dish.

“Um, what's got you all worked up, Hollis?” LaFontaine bravely asked.

Laura stayed quiet for another moment but the question set her off, “Am I the only one pissed off that Karnstein still isn't here? This is practically her fault we even got kitchen duty! She hasn't been here on time for the past week!”

“True,” Danny pondered as she raised her head in thought. “But when she does come you always dump your dishes on her and leave.”

“That's kinda true,” LaF agreed. “She does more dishes than all of us since you're the incoming tray chick.”

Laura knew they were right. Chow time was almost done for good and they had been going since A company had their first meal. All dishes came straight to Laura first and she passed them out evenly between the marine and corpsman. Since she passed them all to Carmilla, and the girl was so fucking stubborn, she wouldn't distribute them out like was needed.

Of course she knew they were right. But she seriously didn't care. “So that just excuses her for-”

“Calm down, cupcake,” a soft voice came from the opening of the kitchen. Carmilla walked in, her head held high, and walked straight to Danny. “Lawrence, you keep forgetting to grab one.”

“Oh. Thanks, Karnstein.” Danny slowly brushed her wet hand onto her apron and took the hair tie delicately.

Before Danny could say anything else, Carmilla brushed by after a quick, “Keep it.” to Laura after giving LaF a quick nod.

Laura's breath caught as Carmilla stood in front of her, unmoving, her eyes pinned. She didn't realize she was holding her breath when the woman spoke, “Well?”

A blink. Wait, what?

Carmilla rolled her eyes and dipped her shoulder. Nudging Laura out of the way wasn't hard, but it wasn't easy as the smaller girl planted her feet. A hand pressed against her shoulder and pushed her away harshly from the sink full of dishes.

“What the hell's your problem!” Laura yelled, her jaw set.

“If you wanted me to do the damn dishes, then let me do them,” Carmilla spoke softly, her eyes only on the dishes and her hands.

“Well...” _Fuck, fuck, fuck-_ “maybe I don't want you doing the dishes today!”

Carmilla, who had already finished her first plate, looked up slowly and Laura wanted to sock her in the face to wash off the smirk.

“Then you wouldn't have been complaining about it mere seconds before.”

“You are so infuriating!” Laura tromped over between Danny and LaF and wiggled her small form in between them before slamming her hands down onto the side of the large sink. She snatched a plate away as LaF slowly gave her one and picked up an unused scrubber and went to town on the, well it sure looked like, hardened potatoes.

_Stupid Karnstein. Stupid dishes. Stupid platoon!_

They had all been working for nearly thirty minutes in silence, broken only by Laura yelling about another dish that Carmilla would not give her, when a sudden voice broke forth from the door in a loud boom.

Danny was the one to turn first and dropped the dish immediately before yelling, “Attention!” The others swiftly dropped their work and tightened their muscles as they stared at the Captain's chest, careful not to look directly in his eyes.

“At ease,” the man said before walking into the room. When the sorry excuses for the air evac team did as commanded, his heavy boots carried him only a few inches into the disgusting kitchen. “Now this was supposed to be punishment enough but it seems like you lazy pack of degenerates need somethin' else to get you goin'. From this day onward, y'all will be runnin' teamwork drills twice a day.”

“Damn,” LaF said under their breath.

“I'm sorry,” Captain wasn't in the least bit sorry, “did I fuckin' studder, marine!”

“No, sir!”

“I thought not! We'll make that three drills a day.” He knew they were probably internally groaning at this point. “Now as I was sayin', these drills will be for teamwork only. If you do not think you can accomplish such a small feat, get the hell outta my platoon! I expect you on the field fully geared at 2030 hours. Do I make myself clear?”

“Sir, yes sir!”

“Shiny. I would hurry up if I were you. Tardiness will not be tolerated.” The man grinned largely before he swiveled on his feet and walked out of the kitchen.

“Tardiness will not be tolerated,” Laura echoed, looking to Carmilla dangerously. “I guess that means you'll be transferring to another platoon then doesn't it.”

The woman didn't even give a response but instead continued her duty. If Laura mused over it, she could have sworn Carmilla scrubbed just a bit harder.

 

* * *

 

“Here, ya sorry pack of horse shit, you’ll be doing your first exercise!” The captain barked as the four stood at attention in an open desert field. “There are flags approximately one klick from one another situated in a straight line back to base. You’ll be picking up these flags as you go!”

“Doesn't sound too hard,” LaF again spoke out of turn. _It's only 10 klicks from base anyways,_ they easily estimated.

“The kicker, maggots, is that you will be carrying a heavy load that most men would cry to their mommy’s about. This is the field, and when your fellow marine and corpsman get wounded, you sure as shit won’t stand around waitin’ for help. Y’all are a family!” He yelled finally, his eyes moving to every single person. “And you’ll remember as such. Family carries the load amongst themselves and distributes it equally. At every flag you’ll be switching the load.”

“Sir,” Danny called.

“Lawrence?”

“Are you implying we... carry each other for 10 klicks?”

“In teams of two, yes! I'm glad you caught on, corpsman. They must train you for your smarts over with the Squids.”

Fire sparked in Danny's eyes as she stared into the desert. Sure, Laura and her had been there for years, but it didn't mean her patriotic pride for the Navy just dwindled and died. It wasn't like it was her first choice to be transferred in with some Jarheads.

“LaFontaine and Lawrence! Pair up!”

_Oh no._

“Karnstein and-”

_Oh fuck no!_

“Hollis! Pair up and get movin’! I don’t wanna see your damn faces until y’all are drenched in your own sweat.” Cap left instantly after that, getting back into his Humvee before driving away, gravel and dust the only thing marking him going.

_Kill me now! Just do it. I'm ready._

Laura was not above seriously punching Carmilla straight in the face as the other woman turned to her and let forth a brilliant smirk.

“Would you like to ride me first or the other way around?”

“Shut it, _Jarhead_.”

If it was possible, Carmilla's grin got even wider at how easily she could get a reaction out of the petite woman. She slowly bent down onto the balls of her feet and the tips of her fingers touched them. She looked over and saw Danny was apologizing to a hysterically laughing LaF who was waving off the absurdity of having to carry such a tall person.

“It's evenly distributed this way!” LaF was saying in between their laughter.

“Even so, I am _so_ sorry.”

“Be more sorry you have to carry me!” LaF flexed their arm and kissed their muscle before the dastardly eyebrow raise. “I've been working out hardcore.”

Danny devolved into a fit of laughter. “Yeah, I'll watch out for it. You should get on my back first.”

LaFontaine agreed and placed both hands on Danny's shoulders. Thinking about it first, they looked over to a still bending Carmilla and a bitter looking Laura.

“Um, guys?”

Laura gave her a glare as Carmilla replied simply, “Yes?”

“You do know Cap will find out if you didn't do the challenge, right?”

“Tell the pipsqueak.”

“What did you call me!” Laura's foot stamped into the ground as she ran to Carmilla and jumped. She wasn't ready for the woman to catch her expertly, situate her on her back in such a way it'd be impossible for Laura to strangle her without being flipped off, and sighed.

 _Jesus Christ this woman is such a child._ “That's better. Shall we go then?”

LaF held back a snicker. “Yeah, last one there shines shoes!”

“Is that all?” Carmilla grinned, her muscles bulging as she took off at a sprint. The smaller load wasn't too bad, even in the heat from her gear, and she enjoyed the warm strain her joints gave as she pushed harder.

It wasn't long until Danny overpowered her, damn those long legs, and LaFontaine smiled and waved back at them.

“If we have to shine shoes...” Laura whispered.

“Don't worry, Hollis,” Carmilla strained back, aware of the small gasp the woman gave to indicate she had not meant for her to hear. “They can't keep that pace up forever. But I can.”

 

* * *

 

“Do you think they've killed each other yet?” LaFontaine asked as they carried Danny. The taller girl was slumped over on their back, pulling their shoulders on accident but hard, but they supposed it was better than Danny leaning over their head and straining that part of them.

“If they did do you think Laura would let me borrow her Veronica Mars collection?”

LaF let out a wheezing laugh before saying, “I think she'd come back from the grave and rip you a new one!”

“It's totally worth it for that collection. I mean it's freakin' huge!”

They were silent for a few more feet, the smile disappearing from LaF's face over that time and they finally said what was on their mind, “Hey, sorry about that Squid comment Cap was on.”

Danny shrugged. “Coming from a Jarhead is just insulting. It's like they prize themselves on being stupid. Uh- no offense!”

“We've known each other for how long and you're still worried about me taking offense? As if.” LaF's smile disappeared again. “It's not easy taking some stuff Cap says and throw it out the window. Look at me with Diego. Hated that prick.”

“Agreed. I just thought after four years he'd stop with the comments, ya know.”

LaFontaine nodded, though it seemed just like a normal bob of the run, and spotted something a little ways off into the distance. “Second flag comin' up!” they announced merrily, happy they could switch once more.

 

* * *

 

Laura wasn't happy. It was one thing doing stupid team exercises for something she didn't even do, and it was totally another having to do them with the one person who's fault this was. It was even more humiliating to be placed on her back as she ran through the desert for the whole exercise. This was stupid, but thankfully they were coming up to the first flag. And of course-

“No Danny or LaF in sight.” Laura sighed. “We're not going to beat them.”

“Calm down, princess. We've got time.”

It was so instant, like a slap in the face, she didn't have time to stop it from trickling through her. A memory flashed through her mind and she had to tightly close her eyes to erase it. After her breathing came back to resting she gutturally whispered, “Don't call me that.”

Carmilla was silent for a moment, the only sound in the quite place was her steel toed combat boots crunching in the hard packed sand. “Well if you won't let me call you that,” she finally spoke, “then you can't get on my case about other nicknames. I'm pretty fond of cupcake.”

“Whatever.” Laura didn't have the energy to fight anymore, or at least at that moment. Why was Carmilla so easy at deflecting her? Why did she always know when to back down whenever her temper flared just as badly as Laura's own? It pissed her off. She hated it.

She was adjusted on Carmilla's back as the woman bent down to collect the small flag sticking from the ground. Handing it to Laura slowly, she waited until the smaller woman took it before adjusting her again.

“Nine more klicks to go,” she huffed as she looked deeper into the darkness. It was cold as hell out there but it didn't stop Carmilla's sweat from dripping down the side of her face. The gear they wore added at least 30 pounds even without the canteen, pack and weapon. She was far from overheating but she also knew Laura, a simple corpsman, wouldn't be able to make even half the miles back to base without water. Or she could, Carmilla thought, who knew. She didn't much think of the training for other corps.

“Uh huh. Let me down, we have to switch.”

“Sorry, shortstack,” Carmilla said, making damn well to use the stupid nickname immediately. “You just relax. I got this.”

“That's not part of the orders!” Well the energy to fight sure came back quickly.

“Because you're totally a goody-two-shoes who listens to orders to the letter. Need I remind you of your kitchen duties the last week? Running off when I get there…bad girl.”

“This is different, Karnstein!”

“If we let you run, we'll lose for sure. And I am really not one for losing.”

“You're a fucking idiot!” Laura exploded as she held on for dear life as Carmilla bolted forward.

 

* * *

 

“Wow, I’m starting to think they really killed each other.” LaF sat crossed legged on the cement ground near the base, a cold thermos of water in their gloved hand. They shivered slightly, they had both been freezing their asses off waiting for the two for an hour now, and moved their free hand under their armpit.

Danny looked down to her watch. “Yeah, it's already 2300. Did they bring a flashlight with them?”

“Laura should have her penlight on her. That wouldn't really help out there... Maybe we should go find them.”

“I can try to sneak into the garage and get a Humvee so-”

“Oh thank God you're both here!” a panting, muffled voice said.

LaF and Danny both jumped to their feet and stared out into the darkness. Slowly a form appeared, slightly malformed as it slumped over.

Laura had an unconscious Carmilla in a fireman carry. Her legs shook as she fought to stay upright. “Stop staring and help me! Carmilla passed out half a klick back!”

“What the hell happened,” Danny yelled, sprinting off the concrete and catapulting toward the women. Bending down quickly, she grabbed Carmilla gently and lifted her. Nodding to the door made LaF open it immediately and they began traversing the corridors to medical.

“She wouldn't switch with me,” Laura was saying aggrievedly, following behind Danny as LaFontaine trailed behind her. “Every time I tried she'd just keep going.”

“You didn't think to try a tad bit harder, Laura?” LaF asked. “That's 10 freakin' klicks with full load plus some.”

“You don't think I tried!” _Don't blame me… please don't._

“Look it's alright. She's just dehydrated. Get some fluids into her; she'll be right as rain in a few hours.” Danny was the lifesaver.

It seemed Laura forgot all her training the second the marine passed out. Then again, the woman seemed to have that effect on her, in the most aggravating way possible.

Thankfully there was no one wandering the halls that time of night, all in their bunks or out smoking, so there were no random questions thrown at the trio as they carried what looked like a dead woman in uniform. Finally getting to medical, Danny slowly placed Carmilla onto a cot and began rummaging around for an IV line.

“If she wakes up we can take this away and make her drink manually,” she was whispering to herself as she set everything beside Carmilla's bed.

LaF turned on Laura and gently asked, “You didn't have any water on you?”

“Even if I did, do you think she'd have taken it? She's so fucking stubborn.”

“Yeah, well, I'm lookin' at someone else that fits that description.” Turning to Danny, who had hastily placed the needle in Carmilla's hand, LaF asked, “You have everything set here?”

The taller woman gave a thumbs up and LaFontaine shot an air gun in her direction. Placing a hand on Laura's shoulder, they turned and walked out of medical and through the long corridors until they got to their room.

_Man that was insane._

Laura still had her arms crossed, looking between Danny and Carmilla. “Is she going to be alright?”

“Do you care if she is?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

A sigh. “Nothing. I just meant you're seriously being-” Danny turned to a Laura standing right behind her. Her small form was bent down instantly and unlacing Danny's pants with ease. “Laura, here?”

“Come on,” she whispered.

_Well fuck me. Oh wait._

Grabbing the small woman, she was glad LaF had closed the door on their way out, Danny swiftly planted her into a wall on top of a cleaned medical slab for her instruments. Forgetting about Carmilla for just a heated moment.

 

* * *

 

LaFontaine sat crossed legged on their bunk, their computer a few inches away from them sitting on the bed. They had been woken up from a Skype call from Perry almost an hour before morning chow, which was pretty early for Perr to even be calling them, and was all too familiar with what the argument was about now.

“They're sick, LaFontaine. I don't understand, I cleaned everything every day and watch what they eat all the time and-”

“Perr, honey, calm down.” LaF pressed the bridge of their nose. “Jamie's a baby. Babies get sick. It's just apart of them growing up.”

“But they're always crying,” Perry sighed.

If LaFontaine was being honest, they could see the accusation clear across Perry's face. The woman looked worn down, more so than usual, as if she hadn't been sleeping regular or even any hours. It wasn't a long stretch to think of Jamie and how the little human was screaming every night when Perry could sleep. Kids were everything, yeah, but they knew their wife had to blame LaFontaine for not being there to help.

“Perr, you're a good mother. I know you'll be okay.” Man was that the worst choice of words they could have used.

“I know I'll be okay, LaFontaine. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate a little bit of help from they're maddy! But wait, they're on the other side of the world right now and-” Perry's words were cut off as a drawn out, hacking, wail came from off screen. Her eyes dimmed, her head bowed, and she sighed.

After a long moment of silence, they spoke with a small voice: “I'm sorry I can't be there,” LaF said lamely.

“No... I'm sorry. I know you're doing your best. I just-I just miss you so much.” The wailing increased after Perry placed two fingers on the screen after kissing them. “I better go.”

“Perr?” Thankfully she hadn't turned the camera off yet. “I really do love you. So much. And we’ll get through this.”

That dazzling smile LaFontaine has loved for so long filled the screen. “I love you too. Come back safe.”

LaF stared at a the “call ended, duration 10:50” and sighed. The calls were getting shorter over the past few weeks and even if they could understand why, Jamie devolving into a pile of cries and sniffles, LaF still felt the hollowness inside them. Getting up slowly, they closed the laptop after getting some semblance of clothes on, opened their door, and walked out into the cool hallway.

Walking through the corridors, LaF was greeted by their fellow marines on the way to the chow hall and they followed them without really noticing. The loud boom of metal against trays and massive bodies eating was almost deafening, but it was easy to find her group in the rows of identical humans.

“Where's Lawrence?” they asked as they got their tray and sat down.

Laura looked up from her meal, she seemed to be drilling a hole in it moments before, and said, “She asked me to get her an apple. Said she wanted to make sure Carmilla's doing better.”

“Good ol' Danny,” LaF said, nodding. A few more moments passed as LaF watched Laura play with her food and asked, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.” She was still obviously distracted.

“Jamie's sick,” LaF was awarded with a puzzled expression and a genuinely sorry face.

“Perr is freaking out, she's getting more adamant about me being gone so much.”

“Well.. I mean-”

“She's warranted to her feelings.” Carmilla was suddenly behind LaFontaine without Laura seeing her, and she sat down next to them. “You just had a new baby, right?” After a nod, she continued, “Being a new mom is stressful on anyone. Especially one that doesn't have the love of their life right next to them every step of the way. You simply have to show her that you are here, and you will help her. After she calms down from the stress, it'll be like nothing ever changed. And even if it does,” she said before getting up, “I'm sure you two will make it.”

Before LaFontaine could say anything in response, Carmilla was gone and in line skipping a few people to get in front of Danny. They seemed to be talking about something serious, whether it being Carmilla's recovery or about the platoon, they didn't know.

“Whoa, Laura. Chill out. What'd the spoon ever do to you?” LaFontaine asked after turning around and seeing the corpsman squeezing the spoon so hard they thought it would snap.

“What business does she have interrupting our conversation?”

“You really need to chill out about her, dude. Seriously, I know you don't like change, but she's pretty awesome. It's not like you ever had a boner to be the best out of all of us.”

Laura's eyes peeled off of Carmilla's form and glared at LaF. “Yeah, well, it's not like I wanted someone else to do it either. She's so “awesome” at everything and so “kind” to everyone.”

“Air quotes are unbecoming of you, Laur.”

“Shuddup, you!” Laura threw a small biscuit in LaF's direction, making them laugh and hold it up in triumph.

“I know you want the biscuit. How much for the biscuit _madame_?”

“Eww, that French accent is an abomination!”

LaFontaine burst into a fit of laughter. “Oh come on. It's pretty good!”

“In what universe?”

They both were too busy laughing at one another to see Carmilla and Danny closing the distance between her and LaFontaine. It didn't take Laura long to clear her throat and begin boring a hole into her food again as LaF and Danny talked with small interjections from Carmilla on their duties.

Laura really, really hated change. But possibly, in the deepest parts of her mind, she really was glad the woman was doing better from the previous night. Not that she'd ever admit it to herself.

Carmilla always seemed like she could easily read people though she always kept it to herself. The smugness annoyed Laura, but it’s clear that the unspoken words and the uncertainty of exactly what the marine saw is what scared her the most.

 _You can’t control everything, Hollis,_ she remembered then snickered to herself. _I’m not that controlling. Besides, I’m more experienced and I wouldn’t want a rookie to mess up a mission._

_It’s not controlling._

Perhaps, she was wrong.


	3. What I like about You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asking for help, dog duties, and the rampage of the infamous cookie stealer.
> 
>  
> 
> Co-written by Steph (wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (leonard-cohen-the-second.tumblr.com).
> 
>  
> 
> Will be updated every week on Sunday at 6-7 PM EST.

**March 14**   
**0154hrs**   
**Region of Qatar**

 

 

LaFontaine’s heart was beating a little faster as they waited for the caller to pick up the video call. They hated this, asking for help, when they knew damn well they could do it themselves. But they couldn’t, they were miles away from home and science has yet to provide them a teleportation device.

Ego aside, the gunnery sergeant also disliked the idea of dumping their problems on someone else’s shoulders. It seemed…selfish, or weak – something LaFontaine couldn’t stand being. They had to fight their whole lives against their parents, society, just to make their point across and some days they wonder if it’s even worth it. How many people take the time to accommodate for diversity?

You know the answer.

Their older brothers' faces suddenly popped up on screen. They looked identical – _are_ identical - apart from their choice in haircuts. Brandon had his hair trimmed like most men in the military, just like LaF’s, while his brother had his long, red hair tied up in a messy bun.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite sibling,” Cody spoke up with a large grin, one that rivaled the one LaFontaine was showcasing at the moment.

“He’s talking about me, obviously,” Brandon interjected.

LaF chuckled, eyebrow arched as they quickly retaliated: “Keep dreamin’ buddy.” They frowned, as they saw how long his hair had gotten. “Damn, cut that thing off bro, I thought you were your girlfriend for a second.”

Cody laughed, loudly.

Brandon opened his mouth in shock, grabbing his bun while his other hand was placed on his chest, over his heart. “Do not talk about my baby that way.”

“What, your hair or your girlfriend?”

Brandon simply pulled out his middle finger.

 _Man, I miss those morons._ LaFontaine thanked the internet gods every day for making this form of long distance communication a possibility, though they couldn’t wait to see them in person, and then promptly wrestle them into submission to proclaim themselves alpha dog. _I mean, what are siblings for if not to wrestle? God only knows_ , LaFontaine mused silently.

Cody pushed his brother’s face away and rolled his eyes. He turned back to the screen with a warm smile. “How’ve you been? We haven’t heard from you in weeks, you asshole.”

“Things have been a little hectic around here. We got a new pilot and Hollis is having a coronary over it.”

“So that dickhead ain’t with you guys no more?”

“Affirmative.”

They both shared a look and let out a sigh of relief. _Good, we won’t have to hunt him down and kill him,_ they probably both thought. Instead of going into full protective brother mode, Cody said, “About time. How’s the new one? He treating you good?”

“ _She_ is great.”

Brandon smirked. “She hot?”

“Not straight.”

“But is she hot?” Cody echoed, with an identical smug look.

After a moment, LaFontaine smirked and nodded their head, “Hell ya.”

They shared a laugh, and high fives – long distance fives still counted right? They all thought so.

“How’s Perr?”

“Well…that’s what I wanted to talk to you guys about.” Their brothers suddenly looked attentive, serious even. They took a deep breath, and said, “Last time we talked she…she needs help. She’s exhausted and she’s trying to do everything on her own. I can’t be there and-I know it’s a huge favour to ask for but-“

“Hey, hey, hey, no favor’s big enough for our sibling.”

“Fuck yeah.”

They shared another high five.

“Diapers, food and babysitting. We’re on it.”

“We got that shit on lock, little one,” Brandon agreed.

LaFontaine narrowed their eyes at the nickname. “I’m not-“

One of her brothers had already gone up and was scavenging for supplies, putting together his best ‘Nanny’ kit.

“Yo Brandon! Call the guys, tell ‘em we’ll buy ‘em a two four if they come help us clean the place.” Cody called out before he turned back to the computer screen again and gave Lafontaine a thumbs up.

“You don’t have to do all that.”

“S’already done,” he winked.

“Seriously, thank you guys so much.”

“Not a problem!” Brandon yelled, as he danced while stuffing things into a duffle back, signing off key to Maroon 5’s Sugar.

Cody turned around momentarily to slap his brother’s ass, whom started shaking said body part in the worst, uncoordinated way possible. “Can’t wait to see ya,” he expressed genuinely.

They couldn’t smile big enough to express the love they felt for their brothers. “Me too.”

Cody straightened out his back and brought his hand up in a salute, while Brandon threw a pair of old, worn out jeans onto his head. “We’ll report back when our duty is done, sergeant!”

LaFontaine saluted him back; the last thing they saw before the call was terminated was Cody making a ‘stylish’ scarf out of the jeans that had been previously dropped onto his head.

Rolling their eyes, the marine closed their laptop. Perry would be able to rest for a few days, though, they weren’t sure how she would be able to rest with her brothers and their friends in dirt destruction mode in _their_ home.

LaFontaine smiled brightly at the image.

 

* * *

 

Their company had all filled into the briefing room a little earlier than the meeting start time, and since their captain hadn’t arrived yet, the room was in complete chaos. Danny and Carmilla were playing a hybrid version of basketball with a tennis ball - the goal being the trashcan - with a few other corpsman and marines. The ones who weren’t watching the game unfold were sitting and chatting lively.

LaFontaine and Laura sat at one of the desks, scarfing down fresh cookies they had stolen from the kitchen before coming in. They weren’t sure, but they had their suspicions that the cook knew it was them; she always gave them a death glare when they walked in the chow hall.

“Do you think she’ll start poisoning them?” Laura asked around a mouthful, though she didn’t seem to take her assumption very seriously as crumbs fell onto the front of her uniform

“Nah, I don’t think anyone is suicidal enough to want to do time in a military prison.”

Laura shrugged. That was a good enough answer, and besides, the cookies were warm and melt-y in her mouth. If this was a sin, she’d gladly pay the eternal price. Cheers took her attention away from her own little piece of heaven, and she turned to see Danny and Carmilla share a fist bump as one of them (Laura wasn’t sure which), scored a goal for their team.

Laura was glad to see Carmilla up on her feet. There was something disheartening about seeing someone with that much energy confined to a bed. She could see it clearly when she went to visit her (though she was careful not to let anyone see her, even the patient herself). Pissed couldn’t possibly explain the look on Carmilla’s face when the nurse would push her back down onto the bed and order her to rest.

_She looked like she was about to plant a nuclear bomb while managing to look bored to death and kind of pout-y and cute. Cute? Wait a minute…What? Cute in a stubborn totally immature child way, right? Not in the you’re so cute I would wipe your nose and -ew, Hollis, what the hell?_

Laura stopped chewing and glanced down at her cookie with wide eyes. _Maybe she did poison them…_ She then looked up, her eyes unconsciously locked onto the pilot, and the thought of being murdered by the cook was forgotten.

“Eh, earth to Hollis. Did you pop your last brain cell?”

“Huh?” Laura asked absent-minded. She didn’t look away.

LaFontaine frowned as they turned around, curious to see what Laura was so focused on that she stopped eating her cookie. _Oh,_ they thought when they saw it: Carmilla smiling and laughing in that way that could make anyone fall to their knees in front of her, proclaiming their undying love, regardless of their sexual preference.

Turning back to Laura, LaFontaine couldn’t help but laugh. _I knew it would happen someday._

“What?” the corpsman asked, suddenly aware she was still holding a cookie and feeling embarrassed for being caught spacing out like a twelve year old boy.

They bit their tongue, wanting to say it. _She’ll figure it out. She’s a big girl._ “Were you eating with your face? You got crumbs all over.”

Laura threw a cookie at their head. “So were you,” she replied smugly as she licked off the melted chocolate from her fingers.

“A-ttention!”

Everyone scrambled to stand behind their seats in less than a second, the game left without a declared winner. Carmilla and Danny glanced at each other, sharing the same thoughts: _we totally had that, dammit._

The captain walked in front of the room, and slapped a folder down on the front desk. “At ease.”

The soldiers sat down, attentive and quiet.

Laura zoned out from most of the briefing, her thoughts being a chaotic whirlwind of confusion. _It’s normal right? We risk our lives together - it’s okay to care. But it’s Carmilla. She’s so…ARGH. When did I start calling her by her name anyway?_

She was snapped back to reality when the captain called her name.

“Hollis and Karnstein, you’re the lucky ones on dog duty this week.”

 _WHAT?_ “ _All_ week?” _Why does this keep happening to me?_

The captain chuckled. “Did last week’s drill scramble your brains, corpsman?”

She glanced at the dark woman in question before turning her serious gaze to the front of the room. Laura didn’t have enough time to examine the marine’s expression. She wished she could read her mind; know exactly what she was thinking, just like she seemed to do with her. Yet she remained a complete mystery. _This isn’t fair._ “No sir.”

The pilot smiled as she felt the corpsman’s gaze on her. She wasn’t too happy that her morning routine would be turned around, but she understood that the decision their captain took was a deliberate one. Hopefully they’d be able to put their differences aside and take the time to apologize, _‘cause Laura’s not the only one who acted like a horses ass. I lost my cool a couple times._

If they would have been assigned to the night guard last week, Carmilla would have had doubts about them getting along. But since she had spotted Laura checking up on her in the infirmary, she had hope. _The dork probably thought I couldn’t see her. She may be small, but she ain’t no ninja._

“Glad to hear it. We wouldn’t want Karnstein to talk to a wall all night. Shift starts at 1900, do what you will ‘till then.” He winked at Carmilla and turned to address the other soldiers: “Well what are you waitin’ for? Get goin’. Make our nation proud and all that junk.” He glanced at one corpsman in particular, “and Randall, don’t pull your damn dick out in front of the locals again, they don’t carry a magnifying glass with ‘em.”

To say he was embarrassed was an understatement as the whole room burst into laughter.

The man in question was one of the drivers in Danny’s unit. She wouldn’t miss a chance to put a dent in his ego, and so, in good nature, she added, “Magnifying glass? You couldn’t even spot that thing with a sniper scope,”

“Shut it Lawrence or I’ll drive ya into a ditch.”

“All who are for stuffing Randall into the back of a Humvee say ‘I’.” She rose her hand up, as most of the other corpsman did.

“Fuck you guys,” he waved them off and disappeared into the harsh sun, shaking his head, though there was a hint of a smile playing on his lips.

The captain smirked as the company left the briefing room just as they had entered it.

A mess. And what family isn’t messy? _None of the good ones_ , he thought to himself.

 

* * *

 

The first day of their guard duty together was spent in relative silence. They hardly said a word to each other, though they both sneaked curious glances at each other. It was a quiet night, apart from the collective aneurism when a car drove by close to the fence. Turns out they were just teenagers going into the city and they had taken a wrong turn on the main road.

Laura gave them directions, in Arabic, much to Carmilla’s surprise. The marine had only learned the essential, as she focused more on reading the Qur’an to understand their religion, not the language. Laura, on the other hand, had been in this region for the past four years and thus had a lot of free time to learn it.

The rest of the night was uneventful. As both women made their way back, Carmilla stepped in front of the smaller woman. She took a deep breath, looking down at her feet as she spoke: “Look, Hollis, I can’t take back what I did or said, but I’m sorry about acting like a dick.”

Before Laura could say anything, the woman was gone.

The next night ran in a similar way, though it was even more boring than the previous day. No action, no lost teenagers, not even a bomb scare. Laura was the first to speak that night, as Carmilla hadn’t said a word since her apology. “Karnstein?”

“Sarge?”

“I-I get it. It’s not like I made it easy on you since you got here.” Laura took a deep breath, nervous beyond belief, yet something was compelling her to speak and she would see it through. “I’m sorry too.”

Carmilla stopped in her tracks, watching the woman’s avoidant stare for a while. She sighed, and with a smile she said, “Bygones?”

Laura let out a breath she wasn’t aware that she was holding in. “Yes please,” she replied as she extended her arm towards her fellow soldier, whom took the offered hand in a firm handshake.

The rest of their shift was spent in comfortable silence; the intensity of their hostility towards each other had all but evaporated.

On the third night, during yet another uneventful shift, the two soldiers actually engaged in a conversation. They were walking side by side along the fence, rifles held loosely in their hands.

“Are you excited to go back home in a few weeks?” Laura asked lightly. She didn’t know what to talk about, and she couldn’t stand awkward silence. She had to get to know the marine somehow, and small talk seemed like the safest road to lead her there. That's what she had done with LaFontaine and Danny anyways. Would the logic still work for Carmilla as well?

“Sure.”

“Anyone waiting for you?”

“My family,” Carmilla replied, knowing she wasn’t giving Laura the answer she wanted.

 _Come on Karnstein, give me something._ “Any siblings?” she tried again.

And Carmilla shut her down again, “Two of ‘em.”

She huffed as she looked towards the marine. “Look, if you don’t want to talk, just say so.”

They were quiet for a long time, though it seemed like an eternity for Laura. Carmilla wasn’t a fan of small talk, but she supposed it was necessary for any good friendship to be built, so she opted to get it out of the way quickly. “I was adopted,” she started simply. “I got moved a lot when I was younger, until I found my permanent family – or should I say rather, they found me. I’ve been with them since my sophomore year in high school.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

Carmilla smiled, as she looked down. “Don’t be. I got lucky, some kids never find stability.”

“I bet they can’t wait to see you.” Laura smiled, though she was glad that her partner wasn’t looking at her, as it reflected sadness she worked every day to bury deep down. She wouldn’t let it surface, and since self-preservation and deflection were her finest skills, the corpsman kept the focus on Carmilla.

With her head still down, she lightly kicked a small rock as they continued their languid trek. “Yeah. I miss them a lot when I’m out here.”

“Do you have any pictures of them?” Laura asked quickly.

Raising an eyebrow, Carmilla showcased her best frown as she looked up at the other soldier. “That’s a little private, Hollis.”

“Oh, I didn’t-I’m sorry.”

A grin suddenly appeared as she laughed, “Relax, cutie. I’m just joking with you.” Still chuckling, the woman reached into the back pocket of her BDU pants and pulled out a folded picture and handed it to Laura without hesitation.

She opened it up carefully, a true smile making its way onto her face now. Laura didn’t want to admit it, but she was slightly surprised to see the different colored smiling faces staring back at her. The father was African-American, as were the two teenagers she assumed were Carmilla’s siblings. The mother, on the other hand, was Caucasian – maybe European. “You all look so…happy,” she said wistfully, in a small voice.

“We don’t just look it.” Carmilla folded the picture and stuffed it into her pocket as Laura handed it back to her. _Did we just have a conversation without yelling at each other? I smell progress._ “What about you, Hollis?“

Her heart started hammering in her chest as she found herself craving a tall glass of water when her mouth suddenly went dry. She wanted to say something, tried to move her mouth, but the darkness engulfed her once again; paralyzed her and encased her in an invisible coffin.

The marine frowned as the color drained from Laura’s face, her body seeming rigid and tight. Was she shaking? She placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder, shaking her slightly. “Laura you okay? You look like you’re about to pass out.” _Must be all those damn cookies she eats. She should get some decent nutrition in her._

Carmilla’s radio came alive, shocking them both back to reality as a male voice alerted them: “Movement on our side of the fence, Karnstein. Approximately two klicks north-east.” She didn’t move, simply stared back at Laura, who looked like she had just woken up from a bad dream; eyes darting around quickly before they fell back onto the comforting brown ones of the marine standing in front of her.

Her radio beeped again: “Karnstein, Hollis, do you copy?”

“Y-yes. We’re moving out,” she replied absently.

“We’ve got your backs covered. Over and out.”

“Roger that,” Carmilla finally turned her gaze away from the corpsman to clip the radio back onto her vest. “Laura-“

As expected, she shut her down quickly: “I’m okay. Let’s go,” Laura raised her weapon, as she took point. A moment later, she stopped in her tracks, looking back at the woman behind her. “Wait, did Carmilla Karnstein just call me by my name without a hint of sarcasm?”

With a sneer, the marine walked past her and rolled her eyes. “We’re in the desert - you must be hallucinating, _Hollis._ ”

“Dodging bullets, marine?” They both were, it seemed.

Carmilla shook her head, grinning. “You takin’ point or not?” she asked with mock annoyance.

Laura rolled her eyes and sighed. “Fine.”

False alarm, as usual. Turns out it was just a lone coyote that was hunting for a midnight snack. Well, Laura couldn’t complain, the animal’s well-timed hunger saved her a conversation she was nowhere near ready having. Maybe small talk wasn’t all that safe after all, Laura thought, suddenly nervous.

 

* * *

 

Today was Thursday, the fourth day of her dog duty with Carmilla. _No insanity or murderous thoughts detected._ Laura was even, despite her best efforts, starting to look forward to working with the marine. If they felt like talking, they talked, and if they didn’t feel particularly chatty, then they enjoyed the silence. It was simple, and the corpsman loved simple.

Laura had her gear strapped on, helmet under her arm and rifle in her hands as she made her way to the cafeteria where she knew she’d find Carmilla getting coffee, even after she told her _multiple_ times that it was bad for her heart.

There were a handful of other soldiers sitting there, mechanics, welders and other guards having diner before their night shift started. She nodded at them as she walked past the long tables, making her way toward hot drink distributer, where surprise surprise, the marine in question was standing with her back towards her.

Carmilla’s hair was in her usual messy bun, her rifle strapped around her shoulder and her helmet fastened around her weapon as she held her caffeinated beverage in her hands like it was pure liquid gold.

Before Laura could say something, the woman spoke up without turning around.

“Don’t tell me you’ve crossed to the dark side and decided to get coffee, Hollis?”

 _How does she do that?_ “Hardly. I came to make sure you wouldn’t come late because you suffered a heart attack.” Laura glanced around the kitchen, though she knew all the cooks were doing the dishes around this time.

“Then what are you-“ Carmilla paused mid-sentence, eyebrow raised as she watched her partner put down her weapon and hop over the kitchen counter quietly. The corpsman sneaked around to a platter of freshly baked cookies and hastily stuffed a few in her empty magazine pockets.

Her brown eyes followed Laura as she scrambled back over the counter and grabbed her weapon. Carmilla didn’t know if she purposely acted guilty or if she really sucked at acting altogether. “What the fuck, Hollis?” the marine asked confused, although amused.

“What? I get hungry when we walk around all the time. And you don’t seem to snack, which, by the way I’m beginning to think you feed on blood because how can you _not_ get hungry? Oh God, please tell me you don’t feed on blood.”

“You’d be the first to know, cupcake.” She sent the fluttered woman a wink, whom rolled her eyes. “So, coffee is bad for my heart but sugar stuffed cookies are what exactly?” Carmilla asked with a grin.

“Delicious.” Laura offered with as much seriousness she could muster before breaking out into a brilliant smile.

Carmilla returned the smile, narrowing her eyes slightly. _Damn, she’s beautiful. If only she could see it._ “You’re somethin’ else, you know that?”

“Well, I won’t be sharing any with you. You’re mean.” Laura stuck out her tongue before stuffing a cookie in her mouth and purposely chewing with her mouth open.

Carmilla snickered. “Fine by me cookie burglar, I feed on blood anyways,” the woman retorted casually as she walked passed Laura, sipping on her coffee.

Laura smiled once more as she followed the marine out of the double doors. “I’d let you bite me if I’d turn too. I wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of watching me get old and…incapacitated.”

 _Of course,_ Carmilla laughed and said: “Then we’d live forever and rule the world,” she frowned, “not sure if I can spend eternity with someone who’s got a serious addiction to cookies.”

“I don’t know which is worse, _coffee breath_.”

The marine acted like she was seriously offended. “Oh, hey, watch my fragile ego, yeah? Vampires are dangerous animals. They attack when provoked.”

Laura arched an eyebrow, biting her lip to keep her from laughing. “Mhm, whatever you say, Karnstein.”

They spent the rest of the shift discussing the best, and worst, vampires in pop culture and explaining what they would do if they had an eternity to explore the world.

Later during the night, there was a moment where they decided to take a break from walking and they found some crates to sit down on. They sat in silence and watched the starry sky, both lost in their own thoughts.

Carmilla turned to watch Laura for a moment. _We’re not so different, you and I._ She smiled and turned her gaze back to the lively night sky. She might be going crazy, but she swears she felt Laura lean her shoulder against hers.

 

* * *

 

 

 _It’s the sun. It must be. It’s getting to me._ Laura was trying to find any scientific reason for her loss of sanity, as she stood in front of the door to Carmilla’s room. She never meant to end up there, her legs led her without her knowing, which is why the corpsman is suddenly wary of her own mental health.

Laura wanted to meet with the marine so they could walk to the chow hall together. _It’s what you do with the people you work with right? Right, it doesn’t mean we’re friends._ Confident in her own lies, lifted her hand to knock on the door, but before she could connect, it opened and a fully clothed Carmilla came out.

Carmilla quickly took a step back to prevent from colliding with the smaller woman. _Jesus Christ._ Her eyebrow rose up. “You fishing for a medical leave? I knew you whale whispers were lazy, but that’s low.”

Laura narrowed her eyes. “Very funny. I came to see if you wanted to walk to chow hall together.”

Carmilla smirked, though she was surprised. “How chivalrous.”

“Just making sure you can find your way there, with you being a jarhead and all, you could get distracted by something shiny and get lost.” _Good save._

Carmilla laughed as they started walking out of the bunks and made their way towards the cafeteria. “You sure know how to make a woman feel special. Next on the list: you’ll lecture me on the dangers of caffeine while feeding me cookies.”

“Sounds like the perfect date,” Laura sighed dramatically.

“Nah, you move too fast for me, cutie.” She bumped shoulders with the woman, who returned the hit a whole lot harder. They ended up racing to the chow hall. It was Carmilla who lost the bet, and had to be initiated in the cookie burglar’s guild.

Their last shift on dog duty went by quickly. They discussed music and films until they saw a few local children approach them near the fence. Laura translated and explained that they were playing soccer and needed a goalie and another striker. Carmilla was quick to agree. She took off her gear while Laura lectured her about how dangerous it was because even though they were innocent children, they could be a diversion for an attack.

“Lighten up.”

“We need to radio this in, Carmilla. This isn’t a joke.”

The marine rolled her eyes and approached the child with the scruffy hair, mirroring his brilliant smile as she asked him for the ball. Carmilla examined it carefully and when she was sure it hadn’t been tampered with, other than being old and worn out, she threw it back at him.

Carmilla turned back to look at Laura, “It’s safe. Come on.” She could see the other woman start to crack and she knew exactly how to make her crumble. She moved to stand with one of the teams of three, by their goal, that was marked by two empty cans. “Are you scared you’re gonna loose to the winning team?”

“Asshole,” the corpsman muttered under her breath as she removed her helmet and vest, discarding them in the sand. Laura, with her game face on, gathered her teammates in a huddle as they devised a solid game plan.

Carmilla new the corpsman had the advantage, as she wasn’t sure what the kids were telling her, but they managed to communicate with signals and the few English words they knew.

The marine was in the goals, and she took great joy in seeing the Arabic kids deke through Laura’s defense and offence while generally being embarrassingly outplayed. The corpsman’s team was close to Carmilla’s goal, one of the children gave her a quick pass to escape a defenseman. She got in close and took the shot, which the marine promptly caught right in her chest.

She coughed violently as the hit stole her breath, the sand that came with it a surprise gift that burned her eyes. “I get It,” a cough, “It’s paypack.” More coughing. “Damn,” she rubbed her eyes, which she realized immediately was an extremely bad idea as it made the burning worse.

“Oh my God! Carmilla-I’m so sorry!” Laura quickly made her way over to the other woman, placing a hand and on her back and she kneeled next to the marine.

“Don’t sweat it. I just got a hole in my chest.” She continued to rub the sore spot; meanwhile the children watched them both; some concerned while the others looked genuinely amused.

“Let me take a look,” she rolled her eyes as she moved the woman’s hands away. “Your chest is hole free, soldier, I’m afraid you’ll have to finish the game,” Laura diagnosed with slight laughter. She patted the woman on the back, purposely hard, and deflected the glare she received with a wink.

They continued the game, albeit a little reluctantly on Carmilla’s part. She watched the woman warily at first, but her frown soon turned into a warm smile. There was an absence of seriousness on Laura’s face as she fell on her ass and constantly kept getting the ball stolen from her. Carmilla found that she even looked younger and carefree. It made getting scored on five times in a row worth it (almost).

The children’s happiness however, is what truly made it worth it.

 

* * *

 

Carmilla stirred in her bed, stretching out her back as she languidly lifted her arms above her head. She let out a long sigh of relief, like a lazy cat who took an afternoon nap, as her muscles relaxed. Brown eyes blinked a few times as they adjusted to the darkened room. Judging by her fully awake state, it must be close to five.

As long as she can remember, the marine would always wake up early – even the days she went to bed late – tiredness didn’t seem to have much of a deterring effect on her. Apart from waking at the shit crack of dawn because of her seemingly stubborn internal clock, she truly enjoyed the moment of quiet peace in the morning and especially enjoyed watching the bright, orange glow of the sun seep into the dark blue night sky – like the sun would engulf the previous day completely and let it fade away.

Perhaps the sky was the same one, but every day is new, free to live it as you please. For the most part, that’s how Carmilla lived, with this reassuring sense of hope. She would watch the frustration in Laura’s face every day and wish the woman could understand that you don’t have to hold onto all of that negativity for days and weeks and months at a time – isn’t that the cause of most physical and mental suffering?

Carmilla believes it is.

(She wished Laura would too).

Without looking, she extended her arm toward the small bed side table to the left of her bed. Her hand felt around the smooth surface until she caught hold of her watch. Sitting up in bed, Carmilla clicked on a button that light up the digital screen. The numbers 0518 flashed on the watch’s display.

She moved to sit on the edge of the bed as she clipped on the watch on her left wrist. With a yawn, and another long stretch, the woman stood up and navigated around the dark room, finding her running shorts and shoes with relative ease. She kept the white tank top she had worn to bed, deciding she’d have to shower after her run anyways.

After dressing quickly, and grabbing her phone and earbuds, Carmilla was out of the door and making her way into the empty cafeteria. She poured herself a cup of coffee, emptied two sugar packets in it and chugged the sweet and bitter liquid. Her father had always told her that running on an empty stomach after a good cup of coffee was optimal for the best performance; it stuck with her since.

The pilot then made her way down the beach, placing her earbuds in as she stretched out her legs quickly. She glanced down towards the sea, watching the horizon where the sun had already started illuminating parts of the sky; the air growing more humid and warm as the minutes went by.

She could see the faint outline of a person as the sky became lighter, and frankly she was surprised that anyone other than herself would wake up this early to go for a run. The wind blew her dark bangs into her eyes; she combed them aside as she squinted to get a better look of who it was.

She smiled when she recognized the figure as none other than Laura Hollis.

 _And the grumpy ones wakes early_ , Carmilla thought with a raised eyebrow. She jogged down the small decline, sand getting in her shoes. _Damn it. I should just run barefoot._ She did just that. She plopped her socks inside her shoes and took off in a full run, catching with Laura in just a few minutes.

“Didn’t take you for an early bird, cutie.”

Much to Carmilla’s surprise, Laura smiled, _genuinely_. “Isn’t this _way_ late for you?”

“ _And_ you have a sense of humor this early.” Carmilla paused, taking in a deep breath her heart beat increased with each step. They were jogging leisurely, warming up slowly. “Does anyone know about this side of Laura Hollis, or am I just that lucky?”

Laura chuckled slightly, “You’re _that_ lucky.”

Carmilla understood the seriousness behind that statement. She smiled warmly - a smile that made Laura look away with a slight frown on her face. _What’s going on in that head of yours?_

“Are we going to talk all morning, or are we actually going to run?”

“How does a 10k work for ya?”

Shaking her head in mock disappointment, Laura continued her teasing: “Losing your edge Karnstein.” She watched the woman’s reaction from the corner of her eyes, a smirk gracing her lips. She bit down on her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing. When did this light banter between them even start? What truly bothered Laura, however, was why it felt so natural and…comfortable?

Carmilla narrowed her eyes dangerously; their legs had fallen into the same rhythm as their bare feet hit the cool sand. “Make it double. Last one there volunteers to wash the men’s bathroom.”

“God, that’s disgusting Carmilla!”

“Not game?”

“Fine!” Laura agreed before taking a running start.

“Fine,” the marine echoed with a brilliant grin. She dashed after the woman, who much to her surprise, was laughing as they tried to pass each other. Laura was playing dirty, however, and attempted to make Carmilla lose her balance by pushing her shoulder.

Laura laughed at the look the marine was giving her and shrugged. She spoke between ragged breaths as their feet continued to beat the sand in tandem. “If you can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em down.”

“I’d like to see you try, Frodo.”

 _Oh it’s on._ “YOU ASS!”

The race was soon forgotten as both women directed their energy towards trying to catch the other _._ Sometime later, when Laura had successfully tackled Carmilla down like a true linebacker, they collapsed on the ground near the water’s edge to catch their breath.

Laura decided she enjoyed this kind of exercise better. So much, in fact that she forgot to rub it in Carmilla’s face that someone with Navy training was able to take down someone who suffered through the rigorous Marine Corps training program.

Or maybe she let her win. Laura turned her eye to narrow her eyes at the woman. Both of her hands were locked behind her head, and she looked peaceful, serene even, as she watched the waves in the horizon with the orange glow of the sun reflecting of her pale complexion.

Laura decided she didn’t care all that much anymore. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the comfortable silence with her companion, her partner, her fellow soldier - her friend? Maybe.The simple thought caused butterfly to swirl in her stomach. Fear or happiness? She wasn’t quite sure

 

 


	4. No Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laura and Carmilla finds themselves at odds again while they're thrown into their first real mission together. They'll need to work as a team to rescue their fellow soldiers and a close friend.
> 
> Co-written by Steph (wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (leonard-cohen-the-second.tumblr.com).

**March 26 th**   
**0713hrs**   
**Region of Qatar**

Long red hair was pushed into a sharp and perfect bun and Danny was looking idly at her scrambled eggs and toast. Her hand held the side of her face as she looked down in disinterest, as her mind was leagues away from the table or the blaring of the other company.

It hadn't taken her long to spot the subtle changes between Carmilla and Laura. Even less time to realize that Laura, in the week of dog duties, had formed some kind of attachment with the new pilot. They were talking a lot more, or even when they weren't they shared comfortable silences with slight smiles at some jokes unknown to her, and everyone else around.

Danny knew Laura. Knew her the best out of anyone in the world, probably. She could tell the woman was letting her “shields drop to 70%” as Laura would say in her best Spock impression. But Danny also knew there were some things you didn't bring up when Laura was around. Her past being one of them.

Not that she knew Carmilla had asked for sure. She could only guess seeing as how that was always the subject to go to when you're just finding out about someone you're stationed with. How's your family? Who've you got to go home to? How's the wife doing?

She couldn't count how many questions she had heard other marines ask Laura before the color drained out of her face and she would be saved by a dashing hero in shining armor. Well, Danny thought with an eye roll, she never asked me to be her savior. _It's not like I have any right to be. I just... really want to look out for her. Maybe if we talk soon-_

Carmilla sits down next to her, breaking the tall woman out of her thoughts, and she gives a genuine smile in return. It's not like Danny dislikes the marine, on the contrary, she was actually pretty damn cool. But the love of her life was slipping through her fingers like all the quantities of sand of the desert and she had no clue what to do. Didn't that quote go, “If you love someone, keep them at a distance.”?

Danny catches the apple thrown her way and smiles widely. “You better stop, Karnstein. I'm going to fall in love with you soon if you keep remembering.”

Carmilla shrugs and half smiles as she sits fully down and grabs her utensils. “I'm a popular girl. I get around. You should pick me up before someone else does.”

The marine couldn't help but smile. Carmilla was just a good person. And not the fake good that only showed a smile to the world but was shit inside, she was really actually a good person. If Danny would want anyone to have Laura other than herself, she really thought Carmilla would be that person. She always made sure the unit ate or had provisions set up for them. She would, of course, shrug it off with a disinterested smirk and leave immediately, but Danny could see through her.

“Where's LaF and Laura?”

Carmilla points behind her with the end of her fork before digging into her eggs with ketchup. Danny looks to where she has pointed and sees the two averting their eyes as the cook serves them their breakfast before scurrying away quickly to the table.

“How many did you steal anyways,” LaF was heard saying as they sat down.

“Just... you know, the usual!” Laura defended.

“She was pi-i-issed,” LaF sang before shoving a fork full of bacon in their mouth.

Laura folded her arms and pouted. “She shouldn't make them so good if she doesn't expect someone to take a few more than really needed.”

“If we're counting,” Carmilla says with the scrunch of the nose, “how many are we talkin' about?”

Laura blushes. “Um... maybe the... whole plate?”

“Three words, Hollis,” Danny laughed, “Addictive and diabetes.”

“One word, Lawrence,” Laura smiled. Breathing in deeply she exhales, “Delicious.” Laura picks up her grape soda and winks at LaF before drinking.

The group chuckles before beginning to devour their food. Chow time was great for chatting, but God forbid you ran out of time to eat. Going to a mission on an empty stomach was the worst thing possible, and no one wanted to be thinking about a growling stomach when you're forced to make a hard entry.

It's Carmilla who finishes first and begins conversation. “So picking back up from a few days ago,” she begins, swinging her fork to point at Laura, “who's waiting for you when you get back home anyways?”

Anything but that, Danny thought as her and LaF immediately stopped eating and stared into space. LaF side glanced Laura, their hand holding their fork just a little tighter as they tried to figure out which way Laura would go with this.

“Um,” Laura laughs, trying to buy more time. Danny and LaF can already tell she's getting pushed over the very thin edge.

“So our duty is pretty easy today,” Danny cuts in and is backed up by a smiling LaF.

“Yeah,” they say, “maybe hit the hoops or something. I'm sure it'll be-”

“Fun,” Carmilla says lowly. She had been rolling her eyes, obviously uncaring of their suggestions. Yes, she could see through Laura on some occasions. But if someone didn't talk about their problems, what good would it do them? Was this really so cruel?

“Fun,” Laura hollowly echoes. Her right hand is pinching her flesh underneath her pants, her nails biting into her left palm. She didn't want to talk about this. She never wanted to talk about this. Why the hell didn't Carmilla get that? Why couldn't she just accept it and move the hell on? _Who does she think she is!_

Carmilla's finger is thrumming against the tabletop, her hand resting on her cheek as she stares at Laura with interest. She sighs and stands before saying, “Alright then.” She's gone in an instant, her bouncing hair flowing behind her in waves.

_Always breaking the rules. Why won't she just leave me alone about it. What good would it do for her to know? Why does she care? God, Hollis, you're going to draw blood._

Laura looks down at her hands, nail imprints biting across her palm, and she's surprised when LaF pats her thigh. When she looks up, sweet, amazing LaFontaine is smiling comfortingly.

Before she can say a word to thank them, the bell rings to dismiss their company from chow. _Just fantastic._

 

 

* * *

 

Laura is avoiding Carmilla. It's pretty obvious to everyone who can see natural human emotions. They passed each other in the hall, Carm going to chow hall to get another cup of coffee, while Laura was coming back from it after stealing a decidedly smaller portion of cookies than usual. (She always wanted sweets more so after a close encounter or argument.)

Instead of making light conversation, something they had been doing after the days of dog duty, Laura averts her eyes as Carmilla walks closer to her. Dark eyes are on her, Laura knows it, and she also knows she rather enjoys Carmilla's talk of her always stealing sweets but she can't risk it. She can't risk Carmilla asking again.

If the answer had simply been no one, it would have been so easy. It would be over in a split second, Carmilla would stop asking after that. But Laura couldn't just lie, could she? Someone was there when she got back home. But... not really.

Wasn't it unfair of her to ask the other all about her family, and yet when the same question is directed at her she goes into panic attacks and shivers? _What a stupid coward you're being, Hollis! I wish I could stop it._

Carmilla's steps slow slightly as she approaches Laura but one look at how she's avoiding eye contact makes the woman click her tongue and walk faster, hitting Laura's arm in the process as she goes. She could ask her what’s wrong, but what’s the point if she’s going to avoid all her questions and then angry? The marine sighed.

Can Laura even be upset?

“Excuse you too!” she yells after the woman.

Yep, she obviously can.

She's thankful when Carmilla only turns her head and gives her a side glare before disappearing after a corner. Laura simply holds her arm, a thumb rubbing over the collision point, and continues onto her room.

 Again she puts down her Stephen King novel and looks up to the ceiling for the fifth time in picking up the book. _Why is Karnstein trickling through my thoughts so profoundly that I can't finish this stupid book! Just a page. That's it. I'll stop eating cookies for an entire week if I can just get through one page. Okay, maybe not a week, but a long day!_

It had been four slow hours after they had the bump in through the hallway and Laura's thoughts were still on the stupid altercation. She had just started liking Carmilla, maybe the other woman returning the affection, and then this had to happen. Why, why, why? Why wouldn't Carmilla leave it alone? Danny knew, sure, but she never brought it up. LaF didn't know all they cared to but it didn't affect the job at all, so why would they? So what was so different about Carmilla?

“Gah!” Laura growls as she places her palms firmly onto her closed eyelids until she sees stars. “Just get outta my head, Karnstein!”

She lets her arms fall beside her, hazel orbs on the ceiling again as she stares at the dismal looking gray. The one day she had off duties was the one day she was itching to get to work. Anything would do, just something to distract her from the pilot. Almost a month with her and it was getting more interesting than she wanted. She felt too comfortable too quickly and she had no idea why. Why would she if she couldn't answer a simple question the woman asked her?

Sighing loudly, Laura raises to her feet and tromps around the small boxed room. Getting on her combat boots, she leaves her overcoat on its chair and leaves the room wearing a gray tank top. On the way to... wherever she was going, Laura put a hairband in her mouth and quickly did up her hair. She just had to find something to get her mind off that question.

 

 

* * *

 

 “You gonna pass the ball or ya gonna be a pansy about it?” Danny yelled to her teammate, giving them a deathly glare before they passed to her. She did a quick layup and smiled. “That's what I'm talkin' about!” Her teammate smiled and decked her lightly in the arm. They clapped and checked before beginning the round with the opposing team who did not seem happy to be losing to a bunch of women.

Laura had been watching the game progress for, what she thought was about thirty minutes. She had wandered to Danny's room and found the corpsman wasn't there, and decided to check around base. She should have known since it was Danny's off day, she'd be at the basketball hoops as LaF had suggested.

Laura was thankful when Danny didn't say a word when she saw her walk outside and sit on the hard packed sand, quickly pulling up her leg to her chest. Danny knew that position well. _I just needed something familiar to train my thoughts on. Talk more for me?_ Danny could almost hear the question. So there she was, becoming more adamant so Laura could calm her raging thoughts. They always seemed to go that way, ever since they were kids.

Danny clapped a palm against the rough material of the ball and checked it back, almost immediately grabbing it away from the burly marine. The amazon laughed heartily when she made yet another basket and high fived her teammate.

“Man, Jarhead,” she exclaimed happily. “Looks like I'm gonna take all your money again. How's it feel to be beaten by a Squid?”

Laura didn't hear the answer as she heard the crunching of sand under boots from behind her. Her body tensed, she really hated someone being behind her like that, and she was happy when they finally moved to her right side and sat down. That was, however, until she realized that person was none other than Carmilla.

“How'd you find me?” Laura asked, unaware she was truly asking it out loud.

“Who says I was looking for you?” Carmilla answers with a smirk on her face.

“Pretty pretentious of me,” Laura agrees with a shake of her head as she fakes to be lively.

“Man, Lawrence is really giving it.”

“She never does anything less.”

Carmilla gives the corpsman another glance before asking, “Have you known each other long?”

“Since we were kids.”

A quirk of an eyebrow. “I didn't know.”

“There's a lot of things you don't know,” Laura agrees again.

“How am I supposed to,” Carmilla says, looking straight to Laura now with no pretense of watching the game, “when no one will answer a simple question?”

Laura is silent for a moment before she too turns to Carmilla and whispers, “Just because you think a question is simple, doesn't mean it actually is.”

She can tell it catches Carmilla off guard. She can tell because the woman's eyes widen a fraction of an inch before lowering to half saucers as she watches the corpsman. What is she trying to see in her eyes? Laura doesn't know yet again and it pisses her off. But, if she's being honest, it scares the shit out of her too.

“Hey guys,” a breathless Danny jogs up to them, breaking them both out of their staring competition. “Wanna play? I just wiped Kirsch all over the pavement and am in search of fresh blood.”

She's beaming but Laura can tell she's just making sure she's alright with Carmilla. She loves Danny for it.

“I'll play on your team,” Laura says as she offers her arm to Danny who takes it and lifts her up. “I can get through anyone's guard since I'm so small.”

“And I can dunk. Just like old times,” Danny says and she's smiling this beautiful smile that would light up anyone’s world.

“Guess I'll be on my own team,” Carmilla offers. _As usual._

“Puhlease,” LaF's hearty voice booms from behind them. They're flexing their muscles again and says, “We'll wipe the floor with 'em. Sorry I'm late, Lawrence. Was talkin' to the misses.”

Carmilla claps hands with them and she gives a warm smile of thanks. They follow Danny to the middle of the make-shift court and Carmilla is the first to check.

“Show us what ya got, newbie!” Danny says happily as she passes the ball.

Carmilla tests the bounce of it before holding it above her head and passed it back.

“Let the games begin!” shouts LaF when Danny falls into her stance.

It's hard for Danny to pass Carmilla she finds as the taller woman feints to the left before bolting right with Carmilla still in front of her. She quirks an eyebrow but bounces the ball a little harder, realizing she wouldn't get through. Carmilla is a scary opponent, she thinks, as the marine never seemed to change her stoic expression once while she’s defending the hoop.

Grunting, Danny passes it behind her without looking to Laura who catches it with ease as LaF was still in awe over Carmilla's solid defense.

Laura was right, getting around people was easy because of her smaller stature, and it took LaFontaine a moment to adjust to the height difference. It was too late, however, as Laura passes around LaF with ease and while Danny blocked Carmilla, Laura made her way to the hoop. A little hop won them their first point.

“Do you need to switch who blocks?” Carmilla laughs as she pats LaF's shoulder.

LaF closes their mouth after feigning to cry and brushes her off. “No way, we got this!”

That was until the imaginary scoreboard read 4-0 in Danny and Laura's favor.

“Sooo,” Carmilla asks again.

LaF's head is down and chokes out a fake sob, “Yeah, yeah, go for it.”

She smiles and shakes her head, going over to stand at her new position next to Laura. She can already tell the corpsman's muscles tighten just a bit when she stands there.

“I'm gonna send ya crying home,” Danny was saying as she checked to LaF.

“Bring it, barbie. I got somethin' for that ass.”

“Is it a salve, 'cause you're gonna need that for this sweet burn.”

LaF was a lot better at blocking Danny than Laura. The height difference didn't hinder them at all, and they quickly and easily blocked any shots Danny would try to make.

“Pass the ball,” Laura yelled before long, seeing her teammate blocked on all corners.

Danny obliged with the request but was quickly deterred when Carmilla jumped in front of Laura with ease and made her way to her opponent’s basket.

“First point, cutie,” Carmilla whispers before she leaps and does a quick layup. When her boots hit the sand again, she sees Laura seething but catches the ball and hands it to LaF. “Check for us?”

LaFontaine's mouth is wide open again, their awe is washed away and a triumphant look passes their face. “You got it!”

The scoreboard gradually increased for LaF and Carmilla as they both made baskets. The prior was getting in Danny's face as they asked about eating their words, while Carmilla stood next to a fidgeting Laura, whom was still averting her eyes from the marine’s gaze. The smaller woman's muscles looked like they would rip apart from how tight they were, and Carmilla could tell she was angrier than really need be. She sighed. What else was she going to do with her?

“Last shot of the game!” Danny called as she held the ball over her head. They had attracted a few marine and corpsman alike to their little scuffle and all of their blood was pumping.

“Let's do this!” LaF said happily as they checked it back.

The round began again with Danny making an impressive move around LaF. It would have worked if the latter hadn't been amazing with their footwork and gotten back in front of Danny without a moment’s notice. Hitting the ball out of her hand passed it across the court to a waiting Carmilla, who had to fight her way in front from Laura.

Carmilla dribbled the ball easily as she assessed the situation. It wasn't easy getting around Laura, but when she did the woman's legs couldn't bring themselves to match the speed. She breathed in deeply and made her move. Dribbling further out than necessary, Carmilla tricked Laura into thinking she could grab the ball away with a quick gesture.

Laura raised her hand and lunged forward toward the ball, just as Carmilla pulled it back expertly and ran to the right. She heard the corpsman swear loudly before boots scuffed in the sand after her. It was too late, Carmilla was at the net in no time, but she already saw this coming.

Danny had left LaF's side to block the basket, and Carmilla simply smiled as she passed quickly to the marine. LaF dribbled once before aiming their shot perfectly, they had all the time in the world as both members of the opposing team were all on Carm, and they all heard the comfortable _swish_ of the ball making its way through the basket.

Carmilla howled with delight, along with LaF, and they shared a high five and a shoulder tap. Danny sighed but was still happy for the game and went over to congratulate the winning team.

Laura was left alone, standing there in the middle of the court with her shoulders hunched and her eyes down.

“Whatever,” she whispered hotly, her blood boiling, before quickly pivoting and stalking off.

Carmilla's smile vanishes slightly as she watches the woman go, her eyes dimming and her heart slowing, before she's asked to play another game with a marine that lost to Danny and a few more.

She wanted to go after her, should have gone after her. Carmilla chose not to.

 

* * *

 

 

Laura quickly dresses in a clean shirt and fatigues after stepping out of the showers. She had waited the full day before cleaning herself for fear of the victors of the basketball game immediately doing the same after they were done. Grabbing her dirty clothes and rolling them up, she traversed the halls with her hair down as she combed it. Getting to her hall, she was just about to enter her room when she heard hearty laughter seeping from Danny's. Opening her door quickly and throwing in her clothes, Laura tiptoed in front of Danny's door and pressed an ear to the cool surface.

When another laugh, this time none other than LaFontaine's, was heard Laura burst into the room with a hurt look on her face. She faltered, only once, when she saw Carmilla there as well, drinking and laughing with _Laura's_ friends.

Silence overtook them and Danny placed a hand on the back of her head. “Um,” she said, looking guilty.

“No one invited me but the newbie gets a free spot at the table?”

Laura was referring to the darkened tabletop Danny used only for poker nights amongst the three. It was the only one Laura found for her that was collapsable in a market in the city, and the corpsman loved and cherished it. So why in the world was the third spot, which was usually taken by Laura herself, now occupied by fucking Karnstein?

 _So we're still not past this._ “Look, if I've done something wrong just tell me,” Carmilla says, her brown orbs on Laura's hazel.

Laura holds her breath, something she's noticing herself doing a lot when Carmilla looks at her as if she's so disaffected. She opens her mouth to throw an insult but LaF cuts her off, “It's poker night, Laur. We just thought you would want to rest a bit after the game.”

“It’s been hours,” she answers after a moment.

“And now you're here,” Danny said. She was trying not to slur her words, everyone could tell, and she bites her lip. “I just didn't think you'd want to play this round.”

“I'm game,” Laura says after walking into the small room and closing the door. She sits with her back facing the door and opposite of Danny. “Who's winning?”

“I am,” LaF answered, their face beaming with delight. “Wiping these suckers of all their money is the highlight of my day. Besides speaking to my wife. Hey guys, you know I have a wife, right?”

The pair groaned as if they had been subjected to this kind of taunting for the entire game, before smiling and rolling their eyes.

LaF won the round again before Danny could deal Laura in. She didn't get the best hand, but she could deal with it. It was just like old times, LaF harking on about Perry and Jamie while Danny laughed happily as she listened, knowing it was just the tactic used to get their minds off the game where it should be. The only difference was that Carmilla was there, her dark eyes analyzing everyone in turn when they didn't notice it.

The room also stank of alcohol, and yet no one was drinking. It was apparent in the way LaF spoke and how Danny reacted to certain things that there had been drinks passed between them. But it seemed right as Laura walked in the alcohol was poured down the drain or hidden from sight. So when Carmilla asked for a bottle, it was a sudden shock for every person there.

“Um, sure,” Danny said, smiling before flicking her eyes to Laura and LaF.

Carmilla said a quick thank you after being passed the bottle that Danny retrieved from the small refrigerator. The game commenced after the small interruption as usual. And yet...

Laura's eyes flicked to the darkened bottle as it made itself residence in front of Carmilla. The slight smile washed from her lips and her throat cleared. She bent her head, her hand resting on the curve of her neck as her eyes flicked yet again to Carmilla. She found they did so often as the scratching of the bottle on the table was heard and a large gulp reached their ears.

The laughing became more liberal, the smiles more plain. She didn't seem like she was getting drunk, but it was obvious Carmilla's guarded demeanor was resting yet always at the ready.

Laura, however, was far from easy. She became increasingly aware of her fidgeting and blank stares. She just needed a breather. Maybe then she could think clearly.

She was about to get up until Carmilla spoke, “So maybe I'm wrong about this, but don't you think talking about your problems really helps you, LaF?”

LaFontaine stopped dead as they were placing a card down onto the table. “Um, well...” A glance to Laura. “I'm just an open book about a lot of things.” A disarming smile. “So, um, yeah I guess talking is a good thing. For some people,” they added lastly.

Carmilla nodded with a leisure smile on her lips. “What about you, Lawrence?”

“I-I think some people can talk it out while others can't. No one's the same. Sometimes it's too painful to talk about some stuff.”

Carmilla again nodded, a look of understanding passing over her features. So why- “What about you, Hollis?”

It took Laura a moment to respond before she quickly shut down the question, “Depends on the person.”

“Alright, but do you think talking helps you personally?”

“I don't think it's any of your business.”

“We're a unit,” Carmilla said definitely, “we're supposed to watch each other's backs. How am I supposed to watch LaF's back if I don't know exactly what they're feeling in that moment when the bullets start flying? If they're feeling a certain way about their wife, don't you think someone in their unit needs to know? If they want to get a present for Jamie, don't you think they'll come to their unit and ask our opinions even how outrageous they may be?”

“I don't know.”

“You don't know,” Carmilla scoffs. “Do you even give a shit about this team?”

“Karnstein, back off a little,” Danny says softly.

“I just really want to know how you think you're doing a lick of actual good for everyone else yet you can't even help yourself. Yet when someone is willing, you just clam up!”

Laura's face scrunched and she said, “Just because you've had some great past-”

“You don't know anything about me!” Carmilla exploded.

Laura, however, yelled right back, “And ya know what, I don't want to know!”

_Wait, what's happening? Calm down. You're losing her..._

“You can't fix everything, Karnstein!" Her words echoed Carmilla's own the day they first met. Laura was furious now, "my past isn't there for your stupid ego trip.”

“That's not what I meant, damn it!”

Laura opened her mouth to yell again, even louder this time, but her poisoned laced words fell on deaf ears as a blaring klaxon rang throughout the base.

“Shit,” LaF and Danny breathed.

Just before someone over the intercom yelled out, “All medical unit to their stations. Repeat: All medical unit to their stations! There's been a reported road side bomb. Four confirmed wounded and they're taking fire! Get to your stations now!”

The game was flipped over, cards and poker chips flying everywhere. Bodies moved in synch as they bolted out of the room in single file. This wasn't a game. This was pure hell.

 

 

* * *

 

The instruments in the bird hummed with electricity as the humans in the fuselage hummed with anticipation. All effects of the alcohol left their systems when the blaring voice screeched there was wounded, the entire world seemed to stop for them as they got their gear packed and ready as they split from Danny's ground convoy to look over them from the air.

LaF was looking at coordinates and making slight changes for Carmilla to follow while Laura prepared her kit in back. This was it. This was the first duty since they were deployed at the beginning of the month. This was their job. This was what they wanted to do and nothing else.

Laura's eyes scavenged the darkness as she looked out of the opened door of the helicopter. She could only see the lights from Danny's convoy slightly as they went, and she noticed they were far behind them than they really should have been. It wasn't like they had to watch their speed in the desert, but Laura supposed the recent call of roadside bombs slowed their progress. That wouldn't do though, she thought, if Danny's ground troops weren't there at the exact time the air evac unit landed they could be targeted for attack. It would be easy to take the copter, it wasn't like there were more than two marines to guard it and a few other corpsman like herself.

_No, you're not allowed to think about that. No one's going to die today. It's a simple evac. We've done this multiple times with hard entry. We'll be fine._

“We're heading up on them!” Carmilla's voice came loud and scratchy over the coms. Her eyes trained on small bursts of light that could only be weapons fire, and her hand on the joystick pressed slightly forward, gripping it a little tighter.

LaF raised up from their seat. “We're in for a hard landing, Laur-”

“Sit the fuck down!” Carmilla yelled, but too late, as she was forced to turn the hulking metal hard to the right as a RPG rocket came their way.

LaF hurled forward towards Laura, but their leg was still in the front of the seat. A sickening snap would have been heard if not for the explosion on their port side.

“Fucking RPGs. Sound off!”

“Hollis here. But LaF-”

“My leg's on fire.” LaF looked at their twisted leg and back to Laura. “Guess I shouldn't have moved, huh?”

The corpsman immediately moved from her seat and gently removed, or how gently she could be with the turbulence from Carmilla's maneuvers, LaF's leg from its hold underneath the seat.

“Fibula. I think it's their fibula,” Laura confirmed.

“Can they still walk?” Carmilla asked briskly, her attention more so on not getting blown out of the sky.

“Uh, fibula isn't dominantly needed to walk, but if we're going down with insurgents, I don't think LaF should move from here.”

“You suggesting they stay here?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I'm suggesting!”

“God damn it! Hard landing, coming up!”

The turbulence was nothing compared to the sheer drop Laura's belly felt as the plane's nose dipped as if it were pointing directly at the ground. She could have sworn Carmilla was really going to kill them, but just before they hit, she pulled the joystick hard upward and lowered the handle downward to bring the ignition and rotors to a standstill. It wasn't before the belly of the fuselage hit the ground harder than really should have been however. Laura had to give the pilot credit, anyone else, even Diego, and she was sure they'd all have face planted in the dunes.

Immediately the pilot raised from her seat, and retrieved her weapon from its rack as she shouted through her coms, “Steel Alligator to base. Steel Alligator to base, do you copy?”

“This is base. What's your status?”

“Steel Alligator is down along with the Gunny. Requesting position of ground unit ASAP.”

Silence rang over the coms like a deafening chant. “Base to Steel Alligator. Ground unit is two klicks away from your position. Hold while they surprise the enemy.”

“Negative,” Carmilla said after a moment. “We got four marines pinned out there. An extra gun would do them good.”

“...You have confirmation to engage the enemy, Steel Alligator. Base out.”

Carmilla sighed as she unhooked her helmet and placed it on the seat. Grabbing another one without a bulking coms device in its ear, she situated it on her head before moving. Bending and placing a hand on LaF's shoulder, she nodded after looking into their eyes.

Raising up, and looking out into the desert, she could just barely see the firefight a few meters away.

“Stay here and protect LaFontaine. If anyone comes near this helo, you're expected to fire that weapon, corpsman.”

“Do you have a death wish? We have to wait for Danny's convoy! Even if you could get to the marine's Humvee, you'd be no use to them pinned down.”

“Damn it, Laura, cut the shit for two seconds! The dunes will cover my entry, they won't know I'm coming. I can take them by surprise and when the ground convoy gets here, they can help. Do as you’re told and protect the Gunny.”

And with that she was gone. It was strange how quickly someone in the battlefield could leave and never be seen again. If Laura never saw Carmilla again, what would she had said differently before she left? Laura didn't even think she had the answer.

 

 

* * *

 

Carmilla's huffing breath was loud in her ears as she sprinted across the fields of sand. There were a few times she would fallen into the dunes, a few moments where she almost gave up and allowed her legs to give out under her – but she didn’t, she couldn’t.

The marine trained her weapon toward the gun bursts. A few moments would tell her if the enemy was around or not and soon she'd be on her feet again, running hard and panting harder.

It wasn't long before she got close enough to see the turned over Humvee of the marines. Through her scope she traveled a few inches away to see insurgents weapons fire. She would have fired a well-placed bullet into the man’s head, but she knew if she did there was a certainty that they would eventually find her perch. And if that happened, goodbye Carmilla.

_Just think about this for a second, Karnstein. Are you going to risk your life for these marines?_

Wasn't that why they had come out there?

She looked through her scope again, letting out a slow breath, before steeling herself and pulling the trigger. A moment later the weapons burst stopped where she had shot. _One down._ Turning her weapon, she waited to see light and fired one shot. She was happy it was night time, happy she couldn't see the faces of the enemy... the _people_ she took the lives from. _You gotta kill when you gotta kill..._ isn't that what they said in training?

Carmilla would have fired again if not for the blaring lights to her back getting closer. Raising onto her feet after pivoting and looking through her scope to figure out if it was ally or foe, she ran towards the convoy with hunched shoulders and her weapon still trained.

“Friendly!” she shouted as she got closer to make sure they wouldn't shoot.

“Friendly!” another shout rang out in the Humvee, warning all not to fire.

“Turned over Humvee,” Carmilla said as the jeep stopped beside her. “I see four weapons bursts but they're vastly outnumbered. We can't take them all out in the dark like this.”

“Where's your unit?” It took Carmilla a moment to realize it was Danny who she had been talking to.

“Gunny got injured. I ordered Laura to watch over them while I surveyed the situation.”

Danny nodded. “Good call. We're going to do a hard entrance, grab the marines, and get the hell out. I'm taking two in here and two in the helo. It's still running after the hard landing, right?”

“Correct,” Carmilla confirmed. “The enemy didn't see where it went down, after grabbing the marines we can make it back in a few minutes with your help.”

“Then let's go save our people, marine.”

“Oorah!” Carmilla yelled as she bolted onto the back of the Humvee.

It didn't take them long to surprise the enemy. The Humvee screeched to a halt behind the overturned one, and a chorus of shouts rang out to the wounded. Carmilla and Danny perched at the side of the Humvee and fired blindly into the darkness, laying down cover fire, as they got the wounded into the Humvee.

“Where's your commanding officer?” Danny heard someone shout to them.

“Dead! He was driving.”

“We got a corpsman in the helo. Who's the worst wounded here?”

Two marines with gunshot wounds were pointed out, while the other had only slight wounds the corpsman in the Humvee could attend to.

“Okay, we're ready Gunny!”

Danny quickly crept to the other side and patted Carmilla's arm, making sure she knew to get the hell out.

“Frag out!” Carmilla yelled after pulling the pin and throwing it expertly.

“Move, move, move!” Danny yelled to the driver as her and Carmilla placed themselves in the back of the Humvee, keeping their weapons trained but not firing. They couldn't tell the enemy where they were as the dust cloud raised from the grenade would cover their exit beautifully.

“Get us to the helo,” Carmilla yelled to the driver after giving them the coordinates.

The bird came in sight slowly, but surely, and Carmilla's buzzing mind was set at ease when she saw Laura's weapon trained out to the desert.

They shouted their greeting of “Friendly!” before Laura bolted out of the helicopter and took the wounded with the help of Carmilla.

“I put LaF's leg in a splint. They should be fine.”

“We've got two gun shot wounds here,” a corpsman from the Humvee said. “Nothing serious, but they need immediate and quick attention on base.”

Laura nodded to her. “Let's get this bird in the air then. I'll tell base that dustoff is complete.”

Carmilla nodded to Danny. “See you back at base, corpsman. You get these people back safely.”

“Same to you, Karnstein. Let's buckle up!”

They didn't have time to watch them go as Carmilla helped Laura with the wounded and got back into her seat.

“Everyone situated?” she called through coms.

Laura nodded, thumbs up, and said, “Everything's good.” Looking outside made Laura's heart stop and her chest ache. “Crap, get this bird in the air! We've got company!”

“How the fuck did they get here so fast?” Carmilla whispered as she thrust the handle forward after flipping switches. The rotors on the helicopter started up quickly, and it wasn't long before Carmilla lifted it into the air. But it wasn't before the enemy caught wind of their position.

_Fwip, fwip, fwip_

Helicopters weren't made to take this kind of punishment. Hard landings, sure, that's why it was so easy for Carmilla to turn back on all systems and hear the familiar hum of her instruments.

_Fwip, fwip, fwip_

Helicopters weren't invented, nor assembled, to stop bullets from entering the fuselage. That could be confirmed by the assailing bullets piercing the tiny craft’s metal body all around. It was strange how the word “tiny” enters ones thoughts when you're literally trapped in a death machine. How your mind finally understands that when you're put in imminent danger. The one thing you held dear, that made you feel safe, was ripped away from you in an instant.

_Fwip, fwip, scratch!_

Helicopters were supposed to be their home. Isn't home supposed to be... safe?

Laura was trying to speak in the most calm voice she could muster to the wounded soldiers. Pads and pads of gauze unrolled and ready to bind any and all wounds. Other, more refined gauze pads, ready to stop the bleeding in any location. She didn't know she would have to use it on-

“Um, guys?” It took a minute for anyone to notice amongst the chaos of screaming voices that someone had spoken. Carmilla's headset filled her ear with buzzing from base and Danny's convoy, while Laura spoke to screaming soldiers.

“Um... guys...”

Laura heard the trickle of a voice through her headset. Her hazel eyes turned around, identifying the voice immediately. She was going to offer a sincere smile, phew we had made it out of that one, but her face only contorted into the mask of horror.

“I'm not feeling too hot,” LaFontaine whispered, their hand clapped hard against their left abdomen. Blood seeped out from those fingers, the pink in their lips blanching to white.

Laura shouted Carmilla’s name over the com, whom turned and instantly became white as a ghost. Laura felt the aircraft jolt, just like she had the first time they were on a simulation drill, before she crossed the small space and knelt beside her friend. She was a mess, she couldn't think. She was saying something over and over again. Maybe it was, “You'll be alright. You'll be alright, honey.” but she couldn't tell. Everything narrowed to darkness around Laura's gaze but for the darkened blood running down LaF's stomach and pants that were now only slightly hidden from the many gauze pads Laura pressed firmly onto the wound.

Oh god, what was she going to do?

“You're going home to your baby, do you hear me,” Carmilla's scratchy voice rose through the coms. It was a good welcome from Laura's blabbering, it would keep LaF from going into shock she hoped. “Remember your wife and your baby, marine. You're going to see them again. I swear to you... you'll see them again.” Carmilla hoped it was a promise she could keep.

The marine was counting on Laura to keep them alive, and Laura trusted that the pilot would get them home as quickly as possible. _I’m not letting any of you down. Everyone is going home alive._

Carmilla pushed the rotators and the engines to their maximum capacity as she ran an invisible, yet fatal race with time.


	5. Knocking on Heaven's Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Death, regret, and forgiveness. But out of these, the greatest is forgiveness.
> 
>  
> 
> Co-written by Steph (wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (leonard-cohen-the-second.tumblr.com).
> 
> Trigger warning: This chapter contains hints of possible, and I do mean possible, parental abuse. Please be advised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bum-bum-buuummmmm! So I know I said there would be a definite update schedule, buuut my cohort and I had a burst of inspiration and that funny thing called a "schedule" seems to be a thing of the past. So, whenever we get through with it- which has been pretty quickly this past week- we'll be posting it for your entertainment.  
> Enjoy!

**March 27 th**   
**0022hrs**   
**Region of Qatar**

“I need an IV! Now!” One of the corpsmenyelled as they followed the two marines transporting a fellow injured soldier into the emergency room.

A green curtain separated Laura and an almost unconscious LaFontaine from the other critical soldiers currently getting cared for, and though it gave her a little privacy, it didn’t shield her from the frenzied noises around the room. Laura cut the marine’s shirt open and quickly examined the wound.  _The bullet’s still in. Shit._

“They said the wounds weren't this severe. What's going on? Damn it, get him on the gurney!”

The marine was starting to speak gibberish, their speech slurred as they had trouble keeping both their eyes open. Laura quickly glanced at their vitals, squinting slightly. Their heartbeat was dangerously low as they had lost a significant amount of blood already from the bullet wound.

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

A loud beep in the room announced that one of the soldier’s heart had stopped. Every EMT and field medic had to work hard to steel their nerves as the noise level and confused madness worsened. “He’s flat-lining. Get me the defibrillators!” Laura recognized Danny’s voice.

Sounds started to get increasingly louder until a loud ringing instilled itself in Laura’s ear (she thought it was the heart monitor) and she couldn’t hear anything but muffled buzzing.

“Heating. Ready. Clear.”

Her chest constricted painfully as she seemed frozen in place, all her training forgotten.

“Clear.”

Her heart began to beat wildly against her chest, making it difficult to focus on anything else.

“Clear.”

Her breathing soon became erratic.

“He’s gone.”

Her hand gripped the railing of LaFontaine’s gurney to find a stability her legs were lacking at the moment.  _Oh God. What if I can’t do this? What if I can’t save them and they die?_

Laura shook her head, placing a hand on her mouth to muffle the sounds of her crying.  _I can’t do this, I can’t do this…_ were the words tormenting her mind - her self-esteem. What good was she if she couldn’t fulfill her duty? Their life was her responsibility. She had always felt deeply for her patients, but when it was a familiar face - blanched and fighting for a single breath - everything changed. Everything.

She tried calling for Danny, but every time the corpsman would choke up and another strangled sob made its way out. Laura was in full panic mode, and she was falling apart alone.

Carmilla ran into the room, her vest still strapped around her torso, as her eyes frantically searched for her friends. She was held up outside, and usually no one else but EMT’s are allowed in here, but fuck it, she thought,  _if Hollis can steal cookies every day I can permit myself this minor infraction._

The marine heard, rather than saw her. She quickly made her way behind the curtain to see the corpsman barely holding herself together. Carmilla’s eyes quickly scanned the monitors, excepting a flat line, and though LaFontaine’s heart wasn’t beating very fast, it was still beating.

Carmilla grabbed the woman’s shoulders and shook her lightly. She spoke softly: “Laura, Laura.”  _Come on, Hollis. Pull yourself together, or there’s really gonna be a flat line on that monitor._

 _Carmilla?_ “I can’t-I can’t do it,” she turned around to face the marine, holding on to the woman’s biceps. Laura’s fingers clutched the material of Carmilla’s BDU jacket.

“Yes. Yes you can Laura,” her persuasive voice wasn’t enough, it seemed, as her words did nothing to comfort the corpsman. “You’re the most insufferable, stubborn person I’ve ever met in my life. When has anything ever stopped you?”

“I’m scared,” Laura’s voice trembled as her fingers tighten a little harder around the marine’s arms.

The look of complete disparity and emptiness in Laura’s brown orbs broke the marine’s heart. Carmilla was scared too; scared for her co-pilot, scared for Laura. Though she couldn’t let it show. Not now. Lives were at stake and she had made a promise. If it was one thing Carmilla knew, she always kept her promises. “You care about them. We all do. And it’s hard, when it’s someone you know, but Laura, if you don’t get your shit together  _right now_ , they  _will_  die.”

“Please, don’t-“

“No! You want other people to recognize your strength? Now is the time, Hollis. You’re a soldier, a fighter, so fucking show it!”

The tears stopped, but the darkness still clung to her thoughts. “It’s never enough, we’ll still lose people. We  _are_  losing good men and women right now.”

“And one more person is about to join them if you don’t wake up. You can’t give up before the fight is over.”  _Don’t stop caring, Hollis. Not now._  “I did my part. I got you here on time. Now do yours, or everything we’ve done up to this point, all the soldier’s we’ve lost, all the people we’ve saved, will be for absolutely nothing because you decided to cower away when shit got real.”

“I’m not a coward,” she said, barely above a whisper.

 _There we go._ “So you say, but what are you doing right now?”

Laura’s jaw clenched and her brow furrowed. She let go of Carmilla’s arms. “I’m not,” she said a little more forcefully.

The marine stepped closer, inches away from the woman as she spoke. “Liar,” Carmilla spat with a sneer.

Laura shoved her away as sounds around her become clearer, just as her mind did. “Shut up Karnstein, and help me get them ready for surgery.”

 _Welcome back, cupcake._ “Now you’re talkin’,” Carmilla smiled as she undid the straps of her vest and removed her heavy pistol belt, placing her gear on the vacant chair in the corner. “What do you want me to do?”

Game face status: on. She moved towards the woman and changed the blood soaked compress on their abdomen. “They need a transfusion before the hypovolemic shock damages their organs. Get me an IV, stat.” Laura opened her mouth to speak, but noticed Carmilla had already left when she turned around. “And morphine!” she shouted over all of the other frantic commotion.

“Do you think…unicorns can skateboard?” the wounded soldier slurred slowly.

Laura chuckled as she slipped on a pair of blue latex gloves. She smiled at them, hopeful. “You’ll be alright.”

The marine came back just a few minutes later, a little out of breath as she handed Laura the items.

The corpsman quickly found the large vein in LaFontaine’s elbow crease and plugged the IV in. “I’ll be okay for now if you want to rest.”

Carmilla scoffed. “Not a chance, cupcake.” She was already squeezing a bit of the clear liquid out of the tube to make sure there weren’t any air bubbles in it.

She grabbed the needle from the taller woman and promptly injected the morphine into the co-pilot’s blood stream. “Now look who’s stubborn,” Laura glanced at the woman over her shoulder, offering her a smirk.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Carmilla watched as she grabbed a scalpel from the small metal plate on the table and began to cut into the now sleeping marine.  _Fuck. That’s gonna sting in the morning._ “In fact, I think it’s one of your most redeeming qualities,” she added smugly.

“Don’t make me laugh. I might cut you by accident.” Laura replaced the bloodied scalpel with a pair of forceps, digging the ends into the larger wound.

Raising an eyebrow, Carmilla tempted the fates further as she retorted with: “Are you gonna flirt with me all night or are you gonna take that bullet out?”

“It’s out,” a metallic clink accompanied her statement, as the corpsman dropped the bullet in the plate a few inches away from her arm and the gurney. “Prepare the needle for the sutures.”

“Got it,” the marine complied, and even though this wasn’t a light moment that they were sharing together, it was a bonding experience all the same. They truly made a great team. Their captain knew it, they just had to get their heads out of their asses long enough to see the light of day and realize it.

A few moments of silence passed between them, Carmilla watching Laura work fast but with care, before, “Done. Wash the wound and put a bandage over it while I hook up the blood bags.”

“On it.”

Carmilla cleaned up the rest of the mess they had made, throwing away dirtied gloves, bandages and other disposable items while Laura looked after their broken leg. There was nothing more she could have done - it was stable and the break was clean. All there was left to do was wait for a cast.

The marine watched Laura move her gear from the chair and collapse on it, letting out a relieved sigh. “You did it,” Carmilla smiled as she leaned against the gurney and yawned. Now that things started to calm down, her body wasn’t shy on showing her how completely exhausted she was.

Laura’s eyes remained closed for a moment, before she opened them to stare at the woman who saved LaFontaine’s life.  _What would I have done if you didn’t come in when you did?_ She smiled warmly, though, a little sadly. “Carmilla, you-“

Danny burst behind the curtain, looking a little frantic and wide-eyed. She had been looking for LaFontaine on every gurney, having a shred of hope that they hadn’t been rolled away in a black body bag. Relief flooded her when she heard the monitors beep quietly.

“How are they?” the corpsman asked as she leaned against the gurney’s railing. Head down, eyes barely open, the exhaustion of the many losses this night endured and the stress of rushing to fight fatal wounds took its toll on the tall woman. Danny noticed the blood stains on her tan shirt for the first time tonight. It’s during those times when the corpsman thought war to be uselessly cruel. Was is really worth it?

“Fine. They’ll need to rest. A lot.” Laura stood up, noticing Danny’s deflated appearance. She had heard her lose soldiers, and she knew the woman felt every loss like a heart break. “How’s everything? Do you need another medic on deck?” she offered, though her legs could barely hold her up.

“We’re done, for the most part. All of the urgent traumas are stable.” Danny pushed herself away from the stretcher, straightening her back and folding her arms across her chest. “The doctors are going to take care of the rest and they’ll send them home later tomorrow.”

“Good. I could sleep forever,” Carmilla yawned a second time, putting a little more of her weight on the gurney.

“Roger that,” Laura responded absentmindedly. All she could think about was her bed.

Working as a corpsman was draining, but Danny knew that working on a friend was that much harder. “You guys go ahead,” she dismissed them with a nod of her head, “I’ll finish up here.”

“Are you sure?” Laura asked as she stepped closer to her friend and placed a hand on Danny’s arm. Her eyes searched for any sign that she should stay.

The corpsman smiled down at the woman. “Yeah. Go.” She turned her gaze towards Carmilla, who seemed apprehensive of their closeness. They shared a silent conversation and the marine understood perfectly.

“Thank you,” Laura squeezed the woman’s arm before turning to go.

“Later, Lawrence,” Carmilla nodded at the corpsman as she walked past her.

“Oh and guys?” She waited for them to turn around before saying, “you did great tonight.” She received two lazy salutes and watched the two figures disappear through the double doors.

The marine truly amazed Danny. She didn’t need to be here tonight, technically she wasn’t supposed to be, and yet she was, because LaFontaine needed her and because Laura needed her. She was proud, but scared all the same. What would become of her if Laura didn’t need her anymore?

Danny was more scared than she was willing to admit.

* * *

 

  _A 7 year old Danny was making her way to Laura’s house, attempting to hold two ice cream cones in one hand while also steering her bike out of potholes, ditches and oncoming vehicles. Her face was the perfect illustration of determination and concentration. She was going to get that ice cream cone to Laura no matter what._

_When the girl’s house came into view, Laura was already waiting for her, sitting on the curb, absently playing with some rocks by her feet. She lifted her head up, her honey brown hair following suite and covering half her face. She giggled and pushed the strands back behind her ear._

“ _Danny!” Laura yelled excitedly, and stood up quickly, bouncing on the back of her heels._

_The tall girl used her foot to brake, making sure to keep the ice cream cones upright as she came to a stop just in front of the tiny ball of excitement. “Hey Laura,” she transferred one of the cones to her other hand as she stepped down from her bike. “Hungry?”_

“ _Not really, but you don’t need to be hungry to eat ice cream, right?”_

_Danny smiled brightly, “Right.”_

_They sat down on the sidewalk to enjoy the cold treat. Danny was looking down at Laura, and her chest fluttered. The tall girl thought Laura to be the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, and even though she had no idea what that meant emotionally – or even physically – Danny understood that she wasn’t like most girls at school. It didn’t bother her though, especially when Laura smiled up at her with ice cream all over her nose and chin._

_Her heart fluttered again._

_Years later, both girls attended the same high school, though they weren’t in the same class as Danny was two years older. They had been dating for a few months now, and most of the school knew who they were because of it. Again, it never bothered Danny, even if they received disapproving looks from several teachers when they walked hand in hand in the school halls._

_Laura had a different mindset, but having the tall athletic girl by her side made her feel safer. Danny would always stand up for her if older kids would tease her and most importantly from her own home. Though the tall woman didn't know exactly what was going on, all she knew was that Laura would often sleep at her house for weeks at a time and when she went back home, sometimes she wouldn't come to school for a few days._

_And when she did, she seemed absent. Broken, even. Laura never talked about it and avoided the questions her girlfriend would ask. Though Danny’s curiousness got the best of her and she couldn't stand it any longer, and truthfully, she was hurt that Laura wouldn't trust her with something that seemed to trouble her so deeply._

“ _I just want to help Laura. Let me help.”_

“ _That’s just it, Danny, there is nothing you can do. You can’t help.”_

“ _You don’t know that! You know you can trust me, Laura.”_

“ _You don’t understand!”_

“ _How can I, when you won’t tell me anything!?”_

“ _Why would I? It’s none of your business anyways.”_

“ _How can you say that, Laura? You’re my girlfriend, my best friend. I care about you so much – it is my business.”_

“ _No Danny, it’s not. I don’t belong to you, or anyone for that matter.” The young girl’s thoughts grew a little darker as she brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Was anywhere safe anymore? What was the point of living anymore if all she got in return was pain?_

_Laura knew she couldn’t be with anyone, she never thought she was worth it. She couldn’t even fathom the idea why she could deserve love from someone as genuine and nice as Danny. They broke up soon after that, though amicably, they decided to stay friends just as they always had been._

_It took two years before Laura confessed to Danny what was really happening at home. Even though they got the authorities involved, Danny knew the damage that had been done couldn’t even be taken back. Even if justice was to be served, that part of Laura was lost forever. Nothing could ever erase the memories, or the scars – both physical and mental._

_Danny had promised herself to protect Laura with everything she was, and everything she could be. When the young girl decided to join the military, just like her mother had done, Danny had enlisted with her as well. They decided to do this, together, as friends. Even though she was letting go of her dreams to make it in professional sports, this decision felt right, and she swore to never regret it._

A warm hand on her shoulder startled her out of her memories. She looked up, shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand to see Laura smiling down at her.  _Yup,_ she thought with finality,  _it was all worth it._

Laura took a seat beside her in the sand. “It’s beautiful this time of day,” she said, staring at the ocean’s natural beauty.

They sat in silence, until Danny spoke up softly, “I went by your bunk this morning. You weren’t there.” It was a simple statement, free of resentment.

“I went for a run with Carmilla,” Laura answered easily, still staring straight ahead of her.

“You guys do that often?” She didn’t want to be jealous,  _shouldn’t_  be jealous. Yet, their growing closeness was something anyone could be envious of.

“Almost every morning.” Laura smiled. She was picking up on Danny’s uneasy tone, but the woman surprised her with her next words.

 _Time to push my ego aside,_ “I’m glad you’ve found common ground. She’s a great person, a great soldier, and an even better pilot.”

“It just took me a while to see that. She just…”

“Knows  _exactly_  which buttons to push?”

She chuckled, nodding her head in agreement. “Yep, it’s like she has a map or something.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised.” Danny stretched out her legs in front of her, leaning back on her arms. The warmth from the sun felt nice, and if it hadn’t been for her sunscreen that had a ridiculously high SP, her pale skin could have easily rivaled The color of a lobster’s carcass.

“She really pulled through for LaF. If it hadn’t been for her…” Laura didn’t just imagine the pain of those she would have let down, she  _felt_  it all.

“What happened?”

“I panicked, I froze.” She gulped as a lump started forming in her throat. “I choked out, Danny, and it scares me. What if it happens again? What if it’s your life that’s at stake, or Carmilla’s?” Her fears were laid out in front of Danny, exposed in front of her. She trusted her childhood friend, but it still scared Laura.

“That won’t happen, Laura. And if it does-“ Danny leaned over, covering Laura’s hand with her own. “I trust you and so does LaF, and even if she won’t admit it, Karnstein does too.” The woman watched, in confusion, Laura go from almost crying to laughing. “What’s funny?” Danny quirked an eyebrow as a twinge of embarrassment appeared on her friend’s face, which Laura tried to cover up by letting her hair fall forward and hide her pink cheeks.

Shrugging, the corpsman moved her hair back behind her ear, “Sorry, it’s just-I can imagine what she would say right now: ‘Why stress out about something you don’t know will happen, cutie?’” Laura said in her best impression of the marine, which wasn’t that great at all (and a little too low pitched). She glanced down at her hands, absently playing in the sand, “She makes everything so simple when we purposely make them complicated for ourselves.”

“You’re right,”  _Talking about complicated…I know we’re casual but I’m in love with, and I want to date, you. Officially._  She was going to bring it up, or at least that’s what Danny told herself, but Laura laid her head on her shoulder and she just couldn’t bring herself to push the woman away.

She wrapped her arm around the smaller woman’s shoulders and thought,  _some other time then._

* * *

 

Blue eyes watched from her position under the covers of her small bed, with a twinge of sadness, as Laura was quickly putting her clothes back on. She played with the material of the blanket, “You’re in a hurry.”

Laura slipped her pair of navy colored shorts on, “I told Carmilla I’d meet her at the gym today.” She chuckled and continued: “She was scandalized when I told her I couldn’t do more than 15 pushups in a row.” She checked the time on her watch and figured she’d have enough time to change in her work out get-up if she ran there.

“Oh, okay.” She waited a moment before saying: “I’m starting dog duty tonight.”  _And I thought you’d spend the day with me._

“Yuck,” Laura made a face as she turned to face the woman. “I’ll see you at dinner then?”

Her smile was forced, “Yup.”

Laura walked over to the bed, and leaned down to give Danny’s cheek a quick peck. “Good.”

“Later,” she said to an empty room. She let herself fall onto her back with a loud sigh, letting her hands rest above her head.

Danny stared at the white ceiling above, wondering when it was exactly that she started feeling so sorry for herself.  _You don’t own her, you know that. You have no right to act like such a lovesick idiot._

She did though, have a right. However, her biggest mistake was ignoring her feelings in exchange for greedy desire of the flesh. Her second mistake was seeing it as something more than that, and she should have never let it happen when she knew Laura’s state of mind about relationships was so fragile.

 _Maybe it’s my fault. I should have never agreed to this._ It was true; that their casual agreement did feed Laura’s need to detach sex and emotion in two separate boxes. _I need to stop this._ Yet, just like a morbid joke, like someone was out there specifically to cause Danny to torment herself, the sickening feeling that Carmilla would steal Laura away made her rethink all her previous decisions.

Danny didn’t want to believe she had any special rights to Laura, she didn’t, but the tiny greedy side of her wanted to make her consider it and imagine it, at least.

_The fuck is wrong with you Lawrence?_

Unfortunately, she didn’t have the answer to that question. Not the complete one anyway.

* * *

 

A few days later, Laura was making her way to the mechanic shop, were Carmilla had informed her she would be all day to work on her damaged bird. She wore her dark green t-shirt and matching BDU pants. Dog tags hung proudly from her neck, gleaming in the sun. Her hair was down and moved freely with the wind.

She loved this weather, even if a lot of other soldiers complained about the heat; she would rather have sun than rain any day. Besides, it was a nice change from the climate back home. She wouldn’t start to explain how much she despised the winter season. Just thinking about it gave her chills (and not the pleasant kind either).

She strode in the immense garage that was big enough to hold four Antonov An-225, stacked on top of each other. There were a few Humvees currently awaiting repair from IED damage, some smaller helicopters with rotor problems and the air evac team’s behemoth.

Music was playing loudly, and by the sound of it, Laura had no doubt Carmilla was responsible for the popular Led Zeppelin song blaring through the speakers. She had found out not to long ago that the marine was a fan of old rock and well, anything  _old_ really.  _I still can’t believe she listens to Enya._

She approached the bird, walking around to the side and spotted Carmilla knelt down on the floor, a welding helmet protecting herself from the harsh sparks she created as she patched the bullets holes. Laura wouldn’t bring it up to her right now, ammo for later, but she could hear the woman faintly singing along.

It wasn’t exactly in the pilot’s job description, but Laura had single handedly noticed that Carmilla would go stir crazy If she spent a single minute without doing anything. And besides, no one was going to take the risk of telling her she couldn’t be there, so the mechanics worked alongside her without any complaining.

“Okay, I’m tired of this Karnstein,” Laura leaned against the side of the door, one hand on her hip as she spoke. “What did you have to do, other than the obvious – sell your soul – to be good at _literally_  everything?”  _Add singing to that endless list._

“I didn’t have to sell my soul, Hollis.” Carmilla turned around, flipping the protective helmet up on her head. Sweat was dripping own her forehead, down her neck and onto her tan t-shirt. The desert was already humid and hot, the added heat of the welding torch made it that much worse. “I’m Satan’s first born,” was said in the most convincing way, with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on her lips.

“Ah, now it all makes sense,” the corpsman replied with a grin. “How’s your  _baby_?”

“Not too bad,” Carmilla took off her heavy gloves and sat down on one of the many seats in the helicopter. “She took a beating, but nothing she can’t handle,” she said and patted the wall behind her.

Laura would think the marine suffered brain damage, if it wasn’t common custom for soldiers to treat objects, mostly weapons and the like, like they were human beings.

“How’s your body feeling?” Carmilla asked with a knowing smile.

Laura let out a loud groan, her muscles contracted painfully with every move she made. “Ugh. Sore. Like,  _all over_.”

Carmilla scoffed and shook her head, feigning disappointment. “Typical corpsman,” though, she patted the seat beside her, inviting the other woman to sit down.

And Laura did just that. Her muscles relaxed as she leaned back against the seat.

Carmilla smiled softly as she took off her helmet and placed it in the empty seat beside her. She wiped the sweat on her face with the sleeve of her shirt. She glanced at Laura, who made a disgusted face at her, which the marine retorted by pushing her shoulder into the woman’s.

They stared at each other; matching raised eyebrows clearly issued a silent challenge. Laura quickly retreated, not wanting to make the soreness in her body worse than it already was. She watched as Carmilla grew serious; she felt the tension in the woman’s body, and in the air, which caused her to clam up instantly.

The marine finally spoke, and said, “I know it may be behind us now, but I still wanted to apologize for the other night.”

“Carmilla…“ Laura wanted to tell her she didn’t need to, that they both overreacted and that it shouldn’t hinder the progress in their relationship. Yet the look in the woman’s eyes clearly said that there was something swirling in that philosophical mind of hers. So, she let her speak it.

“You were right, part of it was for my ‘ego trip’, but not in the way you think.” She leaned forward in her seat, staring down at her interlocked hands in front of her. “Memories, especially painful ones, never truly disappear, and sometimes we let it seep in our daily lives. It’s hard to let go, and I’m not going to pretend I know how, but I know there’s a way people can still enjoy their lives – even with fucked up pasts. These things do shape who we become, how we react to things, but it shouldn’t dictate our happiness, or how we should live our life for that matter.” Carmilla turned in her seat to look at Laura fully as she placed a hand on the woman’s leg. Much to her surprise, Laura didn’t flinch or show any signs she was uncomfortable. “I’ll never ask you to tell me what happened, but if someday you’re ready to talk about it and I just happen to be around, just say the word Laura.”

The corpsman realized she really loved it when Carmilla spoke her name. It sounded so sincere and caring. “Right back at ya,” Laura smiled through her tears, which she held in for the sake of her badass status with Carmilla, and covered the marine’s hand with her own and squeezed it tightly, “you stubborn, aggravating asshole.” She sniffed and laughed at the same time.

The marine placed a hand over her heart, “That’s the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“Oh, shut up.” Laura said, as she pushed Carmilla’s face away from her, chuckling. She wiped her eyes, making sure any tears that were dangerously close to falling were stopped, and stared down at their still joined hands. For the first time, in a really long time, Laura didn’t want to let go – she didn’t want Carmilla to let her go.

“Wanna help me patch her up?”

“Sure.”

“Okay.”

However, neither woman made any effort to move. They sat there, eyes locked for a long while. Eventually, Laura reluctantly stood up, squeezing Carmilla’s hand one last time before she let go of it. The loss of contact was felt instantly, but the warmth happily lingered.

She was teaching Laura how to weld when a hot piece of metal flew into her tan boot. There were no words in the English language that could describe the dance Carmilla broke into as she was working frantically to remove said footwear. The corpsman was no help either, incapacitated by her laughter.

After a chorus of curse words, and more leaping around, the woman was finally able to get rid of her boot, which she threw away…somewhere. Stubbornly, Carmilla refused to let Laura look at it, waving off the pain she felt, repeating that ‘It wasn’t that bad, cutie. I’ll live.'

She relented after a few minutes (she kept telling herself it wasn’t because of the corpsman's heavy glare and the fact that Laura practically manhandled her into a chair).

Carmilla realized they would always be in a competition of who could act like the biggest stubborn ass, but she was happy it was amicable now at least. That’s progress, right? Right.

* * *

 

The three friends were trying to all fit comfortably on Laura’s bunk, which was hard considering one of them was a giraffe.

“Why are your legs so damn long, Lawrence?” Carmilla complained as her shoulder was pushed into the wall each time one of them moved a fraction of an inch.

“Because  _someone_  had to make up for your lack of height,” Danny replied through clenched teeth.

“Just move one leg over and I’ll sit in between.”

“I’m not that flexible!” She hissed quickly.

“Fucking figure it out!” Carmilla retorted back with as much resentment as she received.

Laura did her best to ignore the bickering, but that didn’t stop her from rolling her eyes at least a hundred times. “Guys, be quiet.” She smacked both of them before pointing at the screen of the laptop sitting on Danny’s lap. “It’s ringing.”

They listened, but their discontent was made evident by the pout on their faces.

“Hey there-“ LaFontaine frowned as they noticed the look on the marine and the corpsman’s faces. “Huh, what’s going on there?”

Carmilla and Danny both scoffed.

“Children being children,” Laura explained with a tight smile, sending them a glare from the corner of her eye before quickly turning her attention to the screen with a large smile.

Carmilla watched LaFontaine with a grin, happy to see them with the color back in their face. “Hey co-pilot. How’s the leg?” From the looks of it, they were lounging on a couch.

“In lots of pain.”

Danny frowned, “Aren’t you taking the painkillers?”

Perry came into view and sat down on the arm of the couch, by LaF’s head. She seemed much more rested, and cheery. She placed her hand on her partner’s head, playing with their short hair as she spoke: “You know this one, stubborn they are, refuses to take them.”

Laura interjected quickly, and said, almost scolding, “At least take something for the swelling LaF. It’ll relieve the pain…a bit.”

Danny nodded in agreement.

Carmilla rolled her eyes. “Don’t listen to the squid lovers. We’re marines. We don’t need pain medicine.”

LaFontaine chuckled and shared a virtual fist bump with her pilot. “Oorah, partner.”

Danny was quick on the reply, “Yeah, your stupidity is enough of a painkiller.”

“Screw you,” Carmilla bit back without hesitation.

Laura’s mouth opened in disbelief as she turned to the two women who were also occupying her bed. Unbelievable…“Can you guys not be civil for _literally_  half a second?”  _You were the best of friends before, what happened?_

“No,” they both replied in unison.

“Carmilla, is it?” Perry asked, smiling at the gratitude she saw flicker in Laura’s brown eyes.

The woman in question nodded.

“I wanted to thank you and Laura for all that you’ve done to essentially save LaF’s life.”

Carmilla thanked her with a nod and a warm smile. She then nodded at Danny and Laura with a grin. “These two assured me you’d go ballistic if anything happened to that knucklehead and I didn’t want to be held personally responsible for starting another war.”

Perry looked genuinely offended and she made a point to glare at all of them. “When have I ever been violent?”

LaF looked up at her, an eyebrow raised and a small quirk in the corner of their lips, “Well, in your second trimester you really,  _really_ craved pickles and cheese and when we ran out you’d scream, or cry, depending on the day, until I went out to get you some.”

“You can’t attribute false characteristics to someone when their hormones are unbalanced.”

LaFontaine snorted, and promptly received a light smack behind the head.

“You seem happy they’re finally home,” Laura observed with a chuckle.

Perry shrugged. “Depends how you look at it. Now I have two babies to take care of,” she teased, though there was nothing but love in her eyes.

“Oh! Can we see them?”

“They’re having a nap but-“ Perry was interrupted by none other than the child’s crying. “I’ll go get them,” she said as she quickly got up.

LaFontaine groaned as they rubbed their temple. “This is my life now guys.”

“Welcome to parenthood,” Danny announced without a hint of enthusiasm.

“It can’t be that bad, LaF, come on.”

Their blue eyes were trained on Laura’s fuzzy face, “Hollis, that thing screams 24/7. And when it’s not screaming, its sole purpose is to turn food in alien goo form that  _I_  have to clean.” They didn’t have to specify which end it came out of, it was the same on both.

Carmilla burst out in laughter while silently swearing to never have children.

Perry soon came into view with the baby comfortably cuddled in the crook of her arm. She sat back down on the arm of the couch and handed Jamie to LaFontaine so their friends could see them closer.

“Oh my God, you guys, they’re so adorable!” Laura gushed as she leaned in closer to the screen to get a better look.  _I want twelve,_ Laura thought as anyone else with a right mind would after seeing a cute puppy. Babies though? You’d have to be a special kind of crazy.

Jamie snuggled itself in the crook of LaFontaine’s neck and Laura actually squealed.

Carmilla gave the corpsman a blank stare.

“They’re beautiful guys, congratulations.” Danny said with a large smile.

Carmilla arched an eyebrow at the tall woman.  _Really, you too?_  “You’re all making me queasy.”

Laura turned to her, “Quit the big, bad marine routine, Karnstein. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“I mean, it’s cute, but…What is it good for?” she asked, genuinely curious. What was the point of having children if they couldn’t do household chores until their age hit the double digits? It just didn’t seem like a smart investment.

“Carmilla!”

“What? I’m just sayin’…”

Perry smiled knowingly, “You’ll change your mind soon enough, sweetie.”

“Sure,” the marine deflected easily.

“So, when are you all coming home? We could get together for dinner and you could teach LaF how to use the barbeque without setting their hair on fire.”

“That was one time, Perr,” they grumbled.

Danny answered between chuckles: “Soon - just a few more weeks.”

“Great. Let us know when you’re here and we’ll figure out dates.”

They all nodded.

“Well it was great seeing you both, and your beautiful baby. I can’t wait to hold you, you cute thing,” Laura gushed at the screen once more.

Carmilla gave her another blank stare.

“Take care, LaF,” Laura said.

“And don’t forget to take anti-inflammatories,” Danny added.

“Will do.”

“Get better, marine.” Carmilla said with a two finger salute, which was instantly reciprocated by the co-pilot.

The young couple waved their goodbyes at their friends before ending the call. LaFontaine had only been home for a total of four days and they were already missing their fellow soldiers. They were, however, truly happy to be home with their family and seeing Perry rested was the only comfort they needed.

The marine stretched their legs out, but stopped immediately when pain shot all the way up their broken leg and up the middle of their back. _Okay-maybe a pain killer or two won’t hurt…_

Back in Laura’s room, Carmilla was counting LaFontaine lucky for not having to listen to Laura talk about babies for the rest of the day. Maybe never understood the big deal about children, but she could at least appreciate the joy it seemed to bring the corpsman and that she was more than okay with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And a shout out to all those, and even those who haven't, who've left comments and have been reading. You make this adventure worthwhile and we love writing back to your hilarious comments.


	6. Little Toy Guns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We'll see how the gang deals with their respective demons as they go back home, where the home field advantage is only a myth. Also, Carmilla and Laura go on a (non)date. It's not like Laura would know - am I right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned there is some slur targeted at queer people in this chapter.

**April 15 th**   
**0400hrs**   
**Region of Qatar**

Laura hummed slightly to herself as she packed up her duffle. It was finally time for them to go back home and she was happy it came when it did. She didn't know how much longer she could stand being away from LaF.

Laura had noticed they were always the heart of the group, the soothsayer and simply the happiest of them all. Without LaF it was like the rest of the unit couldn't focus, or do their jobs appropriately. Another month and Laura was sure she would have gone insane.

She may have been extremely self-sufficient, but LaF was a part of her life and she didn't mind at all. And who the hell could keep her mind off of Carmilla and Danny better than them?

Laura was just about finished packing, her mind was elsewhere, and she couldn't help it as she jumped when the door burst open and footsteps entered her small room without invitation. Her shoulders hunched without her knowing before she quickly smoothed out her muscles with the soothing words in her mind.

Turning around quickly, she saw one of the marines, frayed and disheveled more than anything, standing in the middle of her room. He seemed to be sorry for his actions as he visibly gulped and pressed his hand to the nape of his neck.

“Sorry, little chick. Thought this was Psycho's room.”

“Uh hi.” She frowned. “Who are you?” _Psycho's room-what?_

“Gunny Lawrence. Totally thought this was her room. Must have mixed up my numbers. Sorry, dude.”

Laura snapped out of her stupor and called after the marine before he left, “You're the guy she beat in basketball, right?” Nothing like healthy conversation.

The man turned and his sparkling blue eyes were solely on her. “Chyeah, what of it?”

“I-I didn't mean to imply anything. So is that why you're looking for her?”

“She offered one more game before she was sent home.”

Laura nodded. “Yeah, I don't think you'll get that one in. Wheels up in 30.”

The marine grinned and tilted his head. It wasn't until later on the plane that Laura would figure out it was a mock bow. “There's always time for a game, hottie!”

And then he was gone. Laura turned and began folding her clothes into her bag again, her head shaking the entire time.

“You can send a man to the corps but you can't make him think,” a sultry voice came from behind her, making the corpsman jump again.

Laura spoke aggrievedly, “Can you all please stop doing that!”

Carmilla held her hands up in surrender. “Jeez, cupcake, you need to learn to relax.”

“I am relaxed,” Laura whispered, turning to her duffel bag again. “And why aren't you packing?”

A shrug. “I already finished.”

“You already finished? That is seriously hard to believe.”

“Unlike some people, I know how to allocate my time efficiently.”

Laura laughed, hard and loud. “Because you, out of all people, can totally do that.” Shaking her head, she zipped her duffel bag and placed it on the floor. When she looked out into her room, it was completely bare, the walls and desk seeming to be untouched by human hands. ‘Spic and Span’, that was the motto and Laura followed it to a T.

Carmilla was standing at the opening of her door, her rolling suitcase on the floor beside her. She hadn’t taken a step inside, as she understood Laura's boundaries, which Laura noticed and smiled to herself. A genuine smile that made Carmilla's heart swoop up to her throat and tried to claw its way out of her mouth with words of love or some stupid emotion the marine knew she could feel but never cared to think about it.

Carmilla had kept to her word and was the perfect teammate to Laura, physically and mentally. When Laura wanted to talk, whether about something stupid like dog duty or more substantial like authors and books, Carmilla was right there lending an ear. It was nice, the way she always listened and didn't seem to think Laura was so out of range on many things she talked about. Laura needed to thank her for that, she really did.

“Let me carry that,” Carmilla offered, as they walked down the corridor, grabbing Laura's heavy bag with ease before staring back at her incredulously. “What do you have in here and how the hell can you carry this?” She was beginning to think being a gentleman, or woman, whatever, had its definite drawbacks. “Don’t tell me there’s a body in there.”

Laura laughed. “It's not that heavy. Come on, big bad marine. Are you going to finally admit that a corpsman outranks you in these babies?” She pointed at her arms before planting a kiss on the muscle covered by her uniform.

Carmilla just scoffed, a smirk on her lips, before her attention was drawn away by the noise of complaint in front of them.

“Listen, Popped-Collar, I don't give a shit why you came here, get the hell out of my room!”

“Dude, I just want another game!”

A grunt was heard before the marine from earlier landed smack dab on his ass right in front of Carmilla and Laura. Danny was seen moments later as she rushed out of her room.

“You lost five to one, get the hell over it!” she yelled, her suitcase deathly gripped in her hand.

Perhaps he had a death wish, both Laura and Carmilla thought, if he could see the fire in Danny’s eye and not back off. Kirsch continued to plead: “Listen, you're the only one that could beat me. You can't just leave.”

“Watch me.”

“Oh come oonnn,” the marine whined, getting up and following a briskly walking Danny down the hall.

The two stood in silence for a time before Laura haltingly said, “That was...”

“Interesting?” Carmilla finished.

“I was going to say something like 'stalker-y' or 'totally weird' but I can go with interesting,” she shrugged noncommittally.

Shaking her head Carmilla said, “Let's get you to the plane, cutie. I wouldn't want to be left here with them for half a year.”

Laura agreed, her heart skipping of the return trip home. Maybe this one would actually be good.

* * *

 

Danny's fingers grasped tightly into the material of her seat when she felt the plane jolt. Her stomach turned and she glanced to Laura. “What are the chances of this bird going down?”

Laura smiled kindly but Carmilla jumped in, “Too much turbulence for ya, Gunny?”

Turning her head made her feel like she was going to vomit all over the marine's lap. She didn't think it was such a bad thing. “I like my feet on the ground, thanks.”

Carmilla laughed, “We're almost there, Lawrence. Just hang on.”

A few moments of silence passed between them as two of the three looked out the windows of the plane. The third, however, would most assuredly vomit if she did so. They were on a commercial flight from Qatar and they couldn't wait to see their loved ones again. There were many families on this particular ride, and it made the military folk ached for home.

“So what's this ceremony thing anyways?” Laura asked after a while.

“Um,” Danny cleared her throat, “it's to welcome home a unit after they've been deployed. Ya know... parents and loved ones and stuff.”

Laura's eyes dimmed slightly before her chipper tone broke throughout the cabin, “Well I'm excited for Perry's dinner afterward. When do you think LaF will get their purple heart?”

Carmilla hummed. “It takes a while for the paperwork to go through. I doubt they'll get it any time soon.” Her eyes had been on Laura since the question was asked of the ceremony, and she placed her hands in her lap. She had much preferred if she had been sitting next to the girl instead of in the inner isle next to Smelly Toes, but some sacrifices had to be made she supposed.

Danny's mouth opened to say something else but before she could, a pleasant voice from their stewardess came across the speakers.

“We will be landing in thirty minutes. Please return your trays to their upright positions and remember to fasten your seat belt for entry. Have a nice day.”

Danny thanked Jesus, Mary, and all the high angels before and after the plane descended. She really, really hated flying. 

* * *

 

The night of the ceremony was electric, charged with heavy emotions of soldiers finally seeing their loved ones after long months away and the happiness of receiving honors for different acts of courage in the line of duty.

Laura had been staring idly into the mass of people hugging, kissing, and crying with their loved ones. Carmilla had gone off somewhere, but Laura couldn't follow her as after the ceremony to give out minor medals, the floor was opened for the families. Her fingers twisted against each other as she sat silently in her chair, completely opposite of the family’s bleachers; her eyes watched the interactions between the numerous people invading the formal hall.

“Laura, honey!”

She started before looking up and seeing a very tall, very tone, red headed woman walking hurriedly toward her. Her daughter was trailing behind, her wrist caught in her mother's grip; she had an apologetic smile on her lips.

“Hello, Mrs. Lawrence,” Laura said happily, many wonderful memories flooding back to her with the accompaniment of that smiling face.

“I’m so happy to see you again,” Dana Lawrence said as she beamed before picking Laura up several inches off the ground and giving her a big hug. She smelled of honeysuckle perfume and soap, all the things Laura remembered so fondly.

When she was put down, she was immediately picked right back up again by Mr. Lawrence, slightly taller than Danny, who had been shaking hands with some of the other fathers. A hand was slapped down onto the Gunny’s shoulder and Rick Lawrence gave Laura a thumbs up as he gave a confident smile.

Laura was at a loss, so she gave him a thumbs up right back with a large grin. “Uh, how are you guys doing?” _Smooth, Hollis, smooth._

“Oh you know, the same old,” Mrs. Lawrence said with a swing of her hand. “Rick finally painted that old rickety fence and the posts for the house. They look a beautiful white rather than that horrible half white that it was when you two were children.”

“Off-white, Dana,” Mr. Lawrence corrected his wife with a smile and an eye roll at Laura.

Laura giggled, agreeing with him. _Women, am I right._

Acting as if she had not heard a thing, Mrs. Lawrence said, “Won't you come to dinner with us tonight, dear?”

The Lawrence family was always so kind to her. Always there to help. They didn't ask where Laura's father was, they already knew it would bring strife. So they offered their home, their happiness, and anything else she could ever want. They were her parents. Forever and always.

“Oh, sorry, ma'am. Perry and LaFontaine invited us to a celebration dinner tonight since it's our first day back.”

“They just had a baby, mom,” Danny cut in.

“Oh did they?” Dana's face lit up. “It's such a beautiful thing bringing a child into the world. I know they'll be good parents.”

They all smiled at that, Danny and Laura happy that the woman they both respected could also respect their friend and their identity.

“Alright, well this shindig is almost at an end. You're going to be here for a while so I expect you to be at the house at our dinner table soon, young lady!”

Laura placed her hands up in surrender. “Yes, ma'am!”

Danny said her goodbyes to her parents while the other families mulled out the doors and into their respective cars. After many rounds of hugs and kisses, both given to Laura as well, the Lawrences' waved before they got into their car and drove off.

It was beautiful, sunny day and immediately after checking out with their commanding officer, they exited the building. Unconsciously she kept an eye out, thinking she might get lucky and see Carmilla with her family. After a few moments of behavior she deemed too stalker-y, Laura decided they must have left already. The marine had previously mentioned a big BBQ at their house, but both Danny and herself had already agreed to go over to LaF’s and Perry’s place for dinner.

Base was big, but it wasn't hard to walk from one side of the many streets to another. Thankfully Perry and LaFontaine, well all of them really, had base housing and lived in households almost next to each other. Laura waved to Danny as they both separated and entered their own places respectively.

After closing the door, Laura placed her head against the cool surface and let sighed slowly. Her shoulder hunched when she turned and saw the plain, clean, and immaculate furniture. Perry had a key to the place and would sometimes clean their homes when they weren't there so the corpsmen wouldn't come home to dust and inevitable sadness that would follow with having to clean everything.

The dinner wasn't until later, and Laura immediately placed her duffel bag onto her bed, grabbed her cleaning supplies and went to town on her home. She scrubbed harder than she needed to, cleaned things that were already spotless, and corrected everything that may have been moved when Perry cleaned it last. Everything had to be put in its right place.

When everything was finally done, Laura pulled off her gloves, wiped the back of her hand across her brow, and walked back up the carpeted stairs. Choosing to forget her duffel bag again, she walked straight into her bathroom, disrobed, and turned the nozzle of the shower. Warm water sprinkled into the tub as she stared at herself in the mirror, her eyes scavenging, trying to find something wrong, before she gave up and stepped into the shower.

She lost track of time, until the water turned cold that is and a shiver ran through her as she sat on the smooth tiles of the bathtub. Laura swore slightly and bolted up to turn the water off before pulling at her towel and covering her body. Barley drying herself, she dripped across the tiles and into the carpeting of her room. Opening her closet, she quickly looked around for something to wear before throwing an ordinary top and bottom onto the bed. She finished her business, got ready, and was about to leave.

Her eyes flicked to her duffel bag before she exited the house. Maybe later...

* * *

 

“Laura, sweety come on in!” Perry greeted her happily, taking the small celebration gift and placing it to the side as she gave her a big hug.

“I hope you like the wine,” Laura choked out, her windpipe being crushed by Perry's shoulder before she released her and beamed.

“Danny brought over a delicious fruit cake,” her voice lowered, “but if you don't eat it I will not hold it against you!”

They both burst into laughter and Laura picked back up the wine she had brought and they walked throughout the house, which was littered with baby toys and smelt of powder, and into the backyard. LaFontaine and Laura both squealed as they saw each other, and both ran (LaFontaine did something that was closer to hopping ungracefully) and hugged.

“Long time no see, Laur,” LaFontaine said.

“It has been too long, Laf. We all missed you over there.”

LaFontaine rose their shirt and showed off the stitches in their stomach. “Well, next deployment I'll be back in action, so don't worry about it. Who's going to keep you two sane if I'm not around, right?”

Perry, who had been watching over Danny flip burgers, halted her statement about the effects of glucose and palm oil, when she heard LaF's words.

“You alright, Per?” Danny asked, concerned.

“I'm fine. Where were we?”

Laura and LaF laughed, while Danny and Perry spoke, and soon dinner was complete. Danny made sure to cut everyone a piece of her fruit cake, which most scuffled around their plates, and the burgers, hotdogs, fries, and chips were served amongst them all. Perry had wanted to make a real dinner, but LaFontaine had denied saying that it would be much more fun to have a small get together instead.

“Where's the baby?” Danny asked after they had all had time to eat a good portion of their meals.

Perry beat LaF to the punch, “We asked LaFontaine's brothers to look after Jamie so we wouldn't be running around while cooking.”

“Yeah, Brandon is having a field day with them,” LaF added.

Laura and Danny could tell this was an intense subject by the way Perry and LaF wouldn’t' make eye contact, and the strain in their voices. LaF had probably kept asking to allow their brothers to take Jamie more often so that they could have alone time with their wife, while Perry would retort about parenthood and how that could damage the child if they did it for longer than necessary.

“So, LaF, this marine Kirsch just won't-”

Laura didn't hear the rest of the spontaneous conversation as her phone began to ring. She excused herself from the makeshift table outside and walked into the living room through the sliding door.

“Hello, this is Hollis.”

“So formal.”

She started before looking at her phone, which of course didn't have caller ID from how old it was. She recognized the voice – how could she not? “Carmilla? How'd you get my number?”

“I've been stalking you, of course.” A beat passed, which Laura's heart wished it could do, before Carmilla hitched a laugh and said, “You're in the yellow pages, dork.”

“Oh, right.” Laura hit herself over the head before lowering her elbows onto the marble counter top, making sure she could still see slightly outside for fear of an escalation between the couple. “So what's up?”

“Uh, so listen, I wanted to see if you wanted to come out or something. With... me.” Her voice sounded uncharacteristically insecure and anxious.

The last part was said so fast that it was hard for Laura to understand it. “Come out now?” She looked at her watch and said, “Where would we go at eight at night?”

She could tell Carmilla changed the phone from either ear and her melodious voice rang across the line again, “There's a great karaoke bar just off base. It's open all night.”

“You want to go to a karaoke bar?” Laura was flabbergasted.

“Hey, I heard you singing in the shower, Hollis. You've got a great voice on you.”

A blush swept across her features. “Whatever. I'm almost done here, and it's something to do, so why not.”

“Great. I'll pick you up at 2100. Be ready, cutie.”

And then she hung up. Laura stared at the phone for a moment, her mind running over the previous conversation and she frowned as she squinted. “Was she just...?”

The question would be left unanswered as the glass door slid open and in walked the trio with their plates. Danny had thankfully grabbed Laura's and the latter thanked her, after apologizing profusely about the uneaten fruit cake, before taking it and placing it in the dishwasher after washing it.

“This was great guys, thanks for dinner,” Danny and Laura said together as they were done cleaning up after themselves.

Perry swatted her hand and said, “It was really not problem, you two. If it wasn't for you, my LaF may have been...”

“Hey,” LaF touched Perry's arm softly. “Come on, control freak, we should let these guys go so we can have some fun.” They wiggled their eyebrows.

“Oh, LaF, honestly!”

“That is so my cue,” Laura laughed, her hands up as she walked to the door with Danny trailing.

“Thanks for coming, guys. Seriously,” LaF called as Danny and Laura got to the sidewalk and waved back.

“They are so getting laid tonight,” Danny said under her breath.

“At least someone is,” Laura agreed.

Danny bumped shoulders and asked, “So... you want to make that another pair getting laid?”

“Sorry, Danny. Carmilla asked me to go to a bar tonight. I didn't see her family at the meet and greet, so I feel obligated.”

“Oh, yeah, that's cool.” Danny shrugged. “Maybe some other time.”She watched as Laura waved before she walked inside of her home and closed the door. Sighing, Danny walked the lonely streets to her own home and closed the door behind her.

_Yeah, maybe another time._

* * *

 

Laura had quickly gotten dressed in an attractive white, frilly, and seductive outfit when the knock on her door was heard and she ran quickly downstairs with her heels in hand. Opening the door, still barefoot, her eyes widened as she saw a very beautiful, very gorgeous, Carmilla standing with her hand in her pocket while the other was posed to knock again.

“Well,” Carmilla looked like she was trying to find the appropriate words to say, “don't you look like a virgin sacrifice. Are you trying to get jumped by burly men tonight?”

Laura blushed and looked down at her outfit. “I can change if you want! I didn't think you would look so... like a badass!”

“It's the leather jacket, cupcake. It's actually too big on me, that's why it looks more intriguing.”

“And the corset doesn't add onto this effect at all, right?”

Carmilla shrugged and quirked a perfect eyebrow. Her voice lowered a few octaves, making Laura shiver, and she said, “That's all for show. Now are you going to wear those or carry them all night?”

Looking down at her heels, she quickly dropped them and put them on. Slamming her foot onto the ground after she got it situated, she huffed out a breath and gestured with her arms.

“Let's go, princess. Your carriage awaits.”

Laura took, with a genuine laugh, Carmilla's outstretched arm and walked out of her home remembering to turn to lock it before walking down her walk way. When she rose her eyes and looked at the car Carmilla had rode over, she said incredulously, “A Mustang?”

“Too fast for you?” Carmilla asked after opening the door and letting Laura slip inside into the leather upholstery.

“No, no, it's just. I mean how badass are you, Karnstein?”

The woman walked briskly around her car and opened the door. Getting situated, she chuckled and said, “Hold onto your dress, Hollis. We can't let her really purr until we're out of base. But you'll see in a few minutes.”

Laura, in fact, held onto everything but her dress after leaving base and screaming down the road as they probably burned a few stop signs at insane speeds.

* * *

 

Taking Carmilla's hand was a blessing as her legs felt wobbly after getting out of the Mustang. The marine was laughing and Laura punched her slightly on the shoulder to shut her up. The bar they found themselves outside of was called Baby Grand and it was the only bar for miles. Base was located on the outskirts of a major populace and it would take a good drive to get into the city. But because of a thankfully small businesses plopped down here along the way, it was the closest bar that people from base and the city didn't mind driving to.

“We could have had more of a selection in the city,” Laura offered as she began to fidget before walking in.

“This is the only karaoke bar that serves European food,” Carmilla said shrugging. She eyed the woman and said, “If you don't want to sing here-”

“No, no, it's okay.” _What are the chances he'll be here tonight anyways, right?_

Carmilla's hand was hovering protectively behind Laura's back when they both entered together. The night was packed with marines and corpsmen alike and most of them were in line for the machine. There were a group of marines singing drunkenly to Barry Manilow's “Mandy”, and Laura giggled at their antics coupled with the song choice. Even big bad marines could like those insanely emotional songs.

Carmilla called Laura's name, as she had become distracted, and tipped her head towards the bar. Laura followed slowly, her eyes watching closely to the backs of all the occupants on the seats, and smiled as Carmilla gave her order. She looked back at Laura who said a quick, “Water please,” before sitting on some empty seats at the bar.

Laura's breath halted as Carmilla leaned in slowly, god she smelled so good, and yelled over the music, “What song do you want to do first?”

“I have no idea,” Laura laughed, her hands in front of her. “It’s all you Karnstein!”

Carmilla smiled deviously and yelled back, “You'll regret saying that by the end of the night!”

And damn was she right. After their fourth time singing yet another Beyoncé song, with a fair amount of well-timed hip thrusts that earned them both whoops and hollers, the two breathlessly returned to the empty bar and laughed happily.

“Oh my god! That was so fun,” Laura breathed, ordering another water bottle and drinking it down quickly.

“I knew you had the moves in you, Hollis. Just had to pull them out,” Carmilla agreed. After the first alcoholic drink, she had opted to stick to water as well, sipping her beverage moderately.

“They were cheering for you, Carmilla. I mean you were on fire up there!”

“You weren't so bad yourself, ya know.”

Laura was about to say something else, probably to deny this small compliment, but a dreadful feeling rolled her stomach into knots as a hand clamped down suddenly onto her shoulder. Carmilla was up and in front of Laura in an instant, as the latter had suddenly risen to her feet and had ducked her shoulder to get out of the grip, and stared at the uninvited guest with daggers in her eyes.

“Oh,” Laura whispered, low enough to be unheard with the new song blaring from the stage.

“Came home and couldn't tell yer old man?” Mr. Hollis slurred heavily as he dropped to his new seat.

“Um... Carm,” Laura said, moving the woman's arm from the bar that was blocking the smaller woman from the man. “This is... my dad: Todd Hollis.”

Carmilla's eyes stayed their piercing gaze but she offered her hand and said, “Mr. Hollis, it's a pleasure to meet you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” the man said, ordering another drink. That drink happened to be a Black Russian.

“We should go,” Laura said quietly in Carmilla's ear. She was so relieved when the woman nodded her agreement, and she took her hand to lead her away from the bar and out of the establishment, missing the confused look the marine gave her. She was happy, however, that Carmilla didn’t question her and simply followed.

“Hey, I was talkin' to you!” screamed Mr. Hollis, who had swiveled around in his chair before the two had gotten a few steps away.

Laura's shoulder hunched and she slowly unclasped her fingers from around Carmilla's wrist. Her eyes flicked to the door, telling the taller woman to go ahead and leave (she didn’t – when did Carmilla ever listen anyways?). “Yeah, dad?” she said weakly as she retreated from Carmilla's side and sat next to her father.

“Did you get any commen-dactories?”

With her head bowed, she rolled her eyes so he wouldn’t see it. “Medals, dad. And no. I didn't fit any of the categories to get one.”

He scoffed, taking a sip of his drink, “What a waste.”

“Sorry, dad,” her voice was small, just like she felt under her father’s vicious gaze.

“I mean you go into the Navy to follow your dear old mom and you can't even do that right.”

“I know, dad. Sorry.” _Could I ever do anything right?_

He became more frantic, “What good are you anyways?!”

She clenched her jaw, forcefully holding the tears threatening to escape. “I'll try to get a commendation medal next time, dad.”

Mr. Hollis raised his fist and slammed it on the bar, making Laura jump slightly. “You've gotta do more than try hard, dammit! Sure you saved someone's life, but you could have gotten a medal for it! What are you doing over there anyways? Lookin’ at other women? You should find yourself a man, get that head of yours right.”

Anger quickly boiled inside of her, but she didn’t let it show. Anger feeds anger, and Laura knows her father’s was worse than hers. So she ignored her comments and simply agreed with him: “I'll get one next time.”

“Hey, Mr. Hollis,” Carmilla jumped in just as Todd was about to spew something else. There was a pleasant smile on her lips but in her mind she was murdering him over and over. She was currently on number 5. _What is wrong with her? You’d think her smart mouth would have put him back in his place by now. Damn Hollis, what’s going on?_

The drunk man looked at her slowly, he probably thought he was moving at an ordinary speed, and his mouth was open in a silent question. “I'm the unit’s new pilot and I’ve worked with your daughter for the past few months.”

He took her hand and shook it harshly, but the smile spreading across his face was one of happiness. “A marine! I can see by your stance. The way you hold yourself is fucking outstanding! Need to teach this one how to hold yourself properly,” he said, an index finger swaying to Laura.

“Thank you, sir,” Carmilla said, her eyes swirling with unshed emotions. “Your daughter, in the field, was amazing, sir. We almost lost one of our own over there, and if it wasn't for Laura's quick thinking, they would have died.”

“A marine downed? I didn't hear that part of the info,” he said as he stroked his chin slightly. He said again, “I didn't know that!”

“Yes, sir. Laura is one of the best corpsmen I have ever had the pleasure of working with. She's good at her job.”

“Well of course she is,” Mr. Hollis said, smacking his heavy hand down on Laura's shoulder. “My daughter's the best!”

Laura smiled weakly. “Thanks, dad. We gotta go, base called and they need us in,” she lied, knowing full well her father wouldn't have even noticed if she had picked up her phone.

“Oh yeah, yeah, go on ahead! I'll see you later, kid. Great to meet you!” He gave Carmilla a formal salute as he beamed.

Carmilla nodded her head back, raising her hand only to slowly place it into Laura's as they turned swiftly and moved through the crowd of sweating bodies.

Getting outside, they were trapped underneath the awning as it had started raining since the hours they had been in the building. 

Carmilla saw Laura clutch her bare shoulders slightly, the wind having picked up, and she shrugged off her coat quickly.

“No, I couldn't,” Laura said as the too big jacket drooped over her shoulders.

“You look pretty badass, cupcake,” Carmilla said lowly, as she eyed the woman.

“I'm drowning in this,” was Laura's response.

Carmilla chuckled and rolled her eyes. A bad habit she undoubtedly picked up from the woman herself.

They walked quickly to the car and she opened the door for Laura without a word. Carmilla started up the car and peeled out of the parking lot.

The drive was moderately quiet, only broken by Carmilla turning up or down the music depending on the song. Laura asked about the ceremony and the marine's family. There was small talk for a while, but nothing more and so Laura devolved into silence as the car ride stretched out.

The illumination from the blue led lights of the consoles were the only light source, and Laura could barely make out Carmilla's face in them.

She couldn't help feeling in her stomach that the car ride to the bar was far shorter than the ride back.

* * *

 

Carmilla walked to the side of the car and let Laura out, taking her hand again just as she had done before. It was a simple gesture, and it felt so natural, feeling the woman’s soft fingers intertwined between her own.

It had stopped raining very close to base, but it was still brisk. She let the corpsman go first, falling behind as she walked slowly up to the door as Laura opened it.

“Thanks for tonight, Karnstein. It was really fun.” _Except for that last part...I’m sorry you had to meet my dad._

She shrugged. “No need to thank me, Hollis. Maybe we can go to one in the city to avoid any of the unwanted conversations.”

Laura nodded. “Well... I better, ya know.” She pointed her keys behind her to convey her point.

“Hey, Laura,” Carmilla called before the door closed fully. She only spoke again after she saw Laura's dull shining hazel eyes, “You saved a lot of lives that day. If I were on top, I would have given you that medal.” 

The sincerity in the Marine’s voice caused Laura to get choked up and all she could do was watch the woman turn to walk away. _Say something!_

Carmilla walked back to her American muscle, not giving Laura time to say anything - not that she could. _You’re the first to tell people to feel, but you run away when it’s your turn? Honest marine you are, Karnstein…_ She pushed the thought away, as the key found the ignition switch and her foot found the gas pedal.

“Wait,” Laura yelled, but was too late as Carmilla had already driven off. “Your... jacket.”

Laura sighed, the leather coat around her shoulders weighing her down heavily as it was so ungodly big on her, and she had to move her arms upward just to access her fingers and close the door.

Walking up the stairs slowly, after taking off her heels, she turned on the light and stared at the green duffel bag still sitting on her bed.

“Yeah, I guess it's time, huh?”

For the first time in all her deployments, Laura completely unpacked her duffel and carefully placed all her clothes back into their respective drawers.

           


	7. Friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drinking, dancing, and... kissing? 
> 
> Co-written by Steph (wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (leonard-cohen-the-second.tumblr.com).

**June 5 th**

**1010hrs**

**Beaufort Air Station,**

**Beaufort County, South Carolina**

 

 

The gang quickly broke in their new daily routines, having been home for nearly two months now. Most of their days were spent enjoying the outdoors while their evenings were spent in each other’s company. It was a much different way of life than when they were on deployment, but relaxation was never met with a cold shoulder.

Laura smiled to herself as she watched LaFontaine and Carmilla race towards the car, Perry yelling at her spouse to be careful. LaFontaine had their cast taken off two weeks ago, and Laura remembered seeing a smile like that on their face only once, and that was when Jamie was born. The injured marine considered getting ‘crutches suck dick’ tattooed somewhere on their body. Carmilla encouraged them wholeheartedly and Perry was opposed. Needless to say, that was the end of that conversation.

All in all, LaFontaine was happy to have their friends around but most importantly to be able to see their beautiful wife smile without those stress lines on her forehead. The extra help with Jamie was more than welcomed by both parents and it gave them much more room to breathe (if they don’t count all the times Carmilla would call them to complain about the amount of poop their child would produce on a daily basis, that is).

Laura had been spending a lot of her time with Carmilla these past few months. Every day would be more accurate actually. They exercised together and binge watched series on Netflix on rainy days. Carmilla taught the sailor a lot about car mechanics and convincing her that American Muscle was superior to any tuned import, while Laura was adamant on finding that sweet tooth she _knows_ the marine has been hiding.

It was comfortable and simple; effortless even. _If relationships were a possibility for me, I’d be with her,_ Laura thought unbidden. But she couldn’t, or wouldn’t bring Carmilla’s free spirited soul down because of a heavy baggage she never did know how to unpack. Besides, the sailor wouldn’t be good for her; she’d end up hurting her one way or another.

She always does.

Laura tuned back in to hear Perry complaining about their vehicle of choice, “I just don’t see the reason why we have to drive in this…monster of car instead of taking mine.”

Carmilla, wearing a pair of aviators and a low cut tank top that made her look like youthful teenager, held up a finger just as they secured LaFontaine in the passenger seat. “First: yours is a damn Prius, and honestly that’s enough of a reason.” She heard Laura chuckle behind them, and couldn’t resist turning around to wink at her, even if she couldn’t see it.

Laura rolled her eyes, but her smile remained firmly planted on her lips.

Carmilla turned back to face Perry’s disappointed mother glare and held up another finger. “Second, I’ll get you there faster.”

The three women joined the injured marine in the Mustang Fastback, Laura and Perry taking the empty backseat.

“Pilot types,” LaF said with a grin.

Carmilla hit a closed fist against her chest twice before throwing up a backwards peace sign, “Holla.”

LaFontaine laughed.

Laura covered her face with a hand. “Never do that again,” she replied coolly, albeit being a little mortified.

LaFontaine laughed louder.

Carmilla scoffed, staring into her rearview mirror at the woman sitting directly behind her. “Don’t hate the player-” A hand came from behind her to cover her mouth.

“Hagte he hame,” Carmilla muffled behind Laura’s hand.

“Just-“ Perry spoke loudly and dryly. It got everyone’s attention. “Drive carefully please.”

The driver smirked and started the engine. “Sure thing.”

Both Laura and LaFontaine recognized the hint of harmless malice in Carmilla’s tone. They both turned to look at one another, then clutched the nearest handle as they braced themselves for a smooth, alpine ferociously fast ride.

Carmilla didn’t wait a moment before pumping her foot on the gas and released the clutch, quickly shifting into the first three gears as they ripped down the paved road.

They arrived at one of the Clinics in Beaufort with a whole fifteen minutes to spare. Perry didn’t speak to Carmilla as she jumped out of the vehicle, and simply slapped her upside the head as she passed the pilot on her way to the passenger’s side of the Mustang.

Carmilla grumbled inaudibly under her breath, smart enough to refrain from retorting. She did value her life after all and Perry’s death threats were the only ones she took seriously. She felt a hand touch her shoulder, and she turned to see Laura fall in step beside her, sporting that bubbly smile that always makes Carmilla’s heart skip a beat.

“You have a death wish don’t you?” Laura laughed as she resisted the urge to hook her arm around Carmilla’s and pull her closer. _I’ve got it bad, don’t I? Shit. Fuck._

She smiled back. “Who doesn’t, cutie?”

The petite sailor rolled her eyes and frowned slightly. “Why do you always have to get philosophical on me?”

“Well,” was spoken languidly, Carmilla raising an eyebrow in the same fashion. “We could get _physical_ if you’d _rather_ -“

Laura’s mouth was wide open in shock. “Carmilla!” She pushed the woman’s shoulder.

The marine let out a loud belly laugh as she sidestepped yet another slap that was aimed at her head. “Coming through!” She bolted in a direction far away from Laura, through that of which was between Lafontaine and Perry, and they ended up chasing each other around the parking lot and the surrounding area for a good fifteen minutes.

_I’d rather. Good lord, how I’d rather._

Does it really matter who thought it?

(They both did).

 

* * *

 

 

When the pair finally entered the clinic, LaFontaine was already done with the exercises for the day and was getting the green light to start a light workout to reinforce their leg. Which Carmilla knew, just by looking at the little smirk on their lips as they talked to their therapist, that tomorrow they’d be hitting the gym hard and deadlifting twice their weight. At least Carmilla would be there to look after them.

Perry stood up and greeted them with a small smile, trying her best to hide her frown as she scanned their rumpled clothing and dirt marks on their pants. The parent noticed their smiles were restrained, as if they both held a shared secret.

So, Perry spoke the conclusion to her very brief observation out loud, “You two look like you had sex for the first time in the back of your parent’s borrowed car after prom.” Okay, so it was a little specific, but accurate.

LaFontaine chuckled at their wife’s words as they joined their friends, slipping their hand into Perry’s as they glanced at Laura and Carmilla for a moment. They scoffed after a short while, “Nah. They’re way too chicken shit to admit they like each other much less admit they wanna do the dirty.”

Perry hid her laughter behind a cough and offered both shocked women a sweet smile and a slight shrug as she walked passed them, LaFontaine in tow.

Carmilla’s surprise didn’t last nearly half as long as Laura’s. She had to admit LaFontaine and Perry made the perfect team. One made the observations and the other told the blunt truth. She glanced at Laura from the corner of her eye and saw her advert her gaze immediately, a light blush covering the sailor’s cheeks.

“What’s that on your face, Hollis?” Carmilla teased.

Laura knew the marine could be easily stumped and not because she wasn’t witty and quick, but because most people backed down. She, Laura Hollis, wasn’t about to just give up. So, she walked right into Carmilla’s personal space, examining the sharp and angular features up close, tracing them with undisclosed hunger.

Laura’s eyes then moved to bore into dark brown ones. Laura knew Carmilla felt her breath on her lips from the sudden dilation of her pupils. “The same thing that’s on yours, Karnstein. Is that a blush I see?” She winked, grinning triumphantly before turning and practically _skipping_ out of the building. _AH! I win this round. Finally!_

When Carmilla finally managed to speak, Laura was already gone. “I don’t blush!” _I don’t!_ Her hand came to rest against her heated cheek and she cursed herself, _dammit_.

_I’ve got it bad, don’t I? Shit. Fuck._

After picking up the little pieces of her ego that were shattered, Carmilla walked out of the double doors, grumbling indignantly. They settled back into her car, Laura sitting in front this time, probably on purpose Carmilla thought.

She placed her hand on the gear shift and a smaller one instantly covered hers. She glanced at the culprit – and really _did_ try to glare – but Laura regarded her with a smile that was neither cocky nor innocent and she instantly thought: _W_ _as I really angry because a cute woman was flirting with me? I must be losing it._

So, the pilot smiled back and turned to the road. Laura turned up the radio and the gang happily butchered all the songs that came on. Although, it was hard to synchronize when all you could hear was Carmilla’s loud, beautiful soprano voice burying all the others.

Carmilla dropped off Perry and LaF, agreeing to meeting at the karaoke bar later that night for drinks and drunken competitive singing.

“Ever thought about opera singing?” Laura asked the driver, as they pulled up in front of her building.

“Yeah. Right now. For half a second.”

“And?”

“No?”

“You have an amazing voice,” she replied seriously.

Carmilla chuckled and shook her head slightly. “I’d like to think my calling is freely performing classics in front of drunken crowds at the bar.”

“That’s quite the position to uphold, miss Karnstein.”

Carmilla narrowed her eyes dangerously, though there was a small smile on her lips. “You enjoy making fun of me don’t you?”

“Sure. We tease the ones we love right?” _Oh my God! Did I just say that? I meant like friend love-I mean she’ll understand right? Shit._

Carmilla, however, didn’t seem alarmed by the use of the L word, like Laura had been. “Right. Well I’d _love_ for you to get out of my car so that I can go wash and change. I smell like you.”

Laura raised an eyebrow and asked curiously, “And what do I smell like?”

 _Summer, cookies and home._ Carmilla smirked, however, and said: “The basement of an abattoir.” Laura stuck out her tongue at her after feigning offense to the comment. “Come on, get out of here. I’ll pick you up at 8.”

Laura jumped out of the passenger’s seat, closing the door behind her. She leaned against the open window, placing her chin down on her crossed arms as she smiled sweetly at the pilot. “Or you can meet me at the pizza place in fifteen?”

Carmilla raised a perfect eyebrow, “You drive a hard bargain, Hollis.” Truthfully, she could spend all of her time on earth with the sailor and not get tired of Laura looking at her this way.

She rolled her eyes. “Just say yes already so I can go pee,” Laura had been holding it in since they left.

Laughing, she replied, “See you there.”

After exchanging brief goodbyes, which were really just two quick salutes, Carmilla sped off towards her apartment building. She had a whole 14 minutes and a half to make herself look presentable and put together an outfit that could completely disarm the tiny woman.

With that in mind, Carmilla decided she’d wear whatever clothing she’d find crumpled on the floor of her room.

Good plan.

 

* * *

 

 

Laura and Carmilla entered the bar a little later than their friends had planned to meet up, even after a pizza speed eating contest – which the sailor won with seconds to spare. Dinner with Carmilla was never dull, making it easy to forget they had to keep track of time or just making Laura forgets time even exist.

And maybe Laura was a bit selfish and wanted the dark haired woman to herself a little longer. She’d never get over how Carmilla could look so effortlessly gorgeous. She was wearing a simple white pocket t-shirt with rolled up sleeves and tight, black jeans and Laura had to periodically remind herself she needed to breathe.

She was convinced there were actually 8 deadly sins and Carmilla was one of them.

The pilot pointed to the table where she had spotted their friends, the tall gunny acting like a neon colored “We’re Here” sign. It was practical, Carmilla mused silently to herself.

“And the inseparable two finally grace us with their presence,” LaFontaine said with a wink as they spotted the pair.

Danny chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I thought you stood us up to go on a platonic date.”

Laura glanced at Carmilla and they shared a quick smile. Well, Danny wasn’t wrong, but neither of them would tell her that.

Carmilla said nothing, keeping her face stoic as always as she flipped them her middle finger while she took a seat beside the other marine.

Laura followed suit, sitting down beside Carmilla and effectively situating herself between the pilot and Danny, yet again, around the round table. _Okay, universe, I get it. Ah, ha._ “Why are we always on the subject of Carmilla and I?”

“Because seeing you two blush and your continued oblivious feelings towards each other are highly entertaining,” Danny replied.

“I don’t blush,” Carmilla grumbled with a frown. Everyone simultaneously rolled their eyes.

LaF added, “And because Danny doesn’t have a girlfriend, or boyfriend or undisclosed, so we can’t tease her. Well, she’d have one of them if she’d grow some balls.”

“Quit it with that crap already.”

“Dude, that girl’s been eying you since you got here and you barely moved a finger in her direction,” LaF said, nodding her head towards the tall blonde – like Danny tall - who was sitting with a bunch of other people, whom they suspected, were her friends.

“So?”

“So? Damn Danny, when was the last time you even dated? I’d be afraid to find dust bunnies in-“ A hand quickly covered their mouth, though everyone had a very good idea of what were the interrupted words that didn’t make it past Perry’s hand.

“Honey, I think that’s a little disrespectful to our friend,” she said a little too sweetly, making LaFontaine understand that the sugar coating was as fake as aspartame.

Oops?

Danny fought the urge to glance towards Laura, knowing she’d avoid her gaze anyways, and managed to keep a straight face as she said, “You’d be surprised.”

Sighing, wanting to erase the image LaFontaine so easily painted for them – and less than interested in hearing about Danny’s sex life - Carmilla turned towards Laura and asked, “Want anything?”

 _You, like, repeatedly._ She smiled and said, “The usual.”

“Hey, what about me?” Danny asked with a pout as she eyed Carmilla.

“You’re not my platonic girlfriend now are ya?”

“No, baby! Come back!” The gunny shouted overdramatically, placing both of her hands on her heart as if she were in undeniable pain.

“I’m done with you, Lawrence!” Carmilla called out over the music, only turning around to wink at Danny before she sauntered towards the semi-crowded bar. A man came up to the pilot, as she waited for her two bottles of carbonated lemon water. She uttered an uninterested ‘No’ before he had time to get two words out.

As she walked back to the table, both drinks in hand, Carmilla watched the couple on stage, singing Sonny and Cher’s popular ‘I Got You Babe’. And he didn’t ‘have her’ apparently, as she almost stumbled off the stage and into the crowd.

“Badass choice in liquor, Karnstein,” LaFontaine remarked with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m driving,” she explained simply.

They knew the answer, but they like to push and prod the issue with the pilot, as their wife so beautifully put it earlier. “You know Laura doesn’t drink, she could drive your Mustang.”

“ _No one_ but me drives Charlotte – especially not jerky hand Hollis.” Carmilla felt a slap on her shoulder and she didn’t have to look at Laura to see her resentful stare. “ _And_ I don’t feel like drinking.”

“Alright, whatever you say.” The subject was dropped, though they shared a knowing glance with Perry. _Those two idiots, I swear._

“You’re a really shitty fake date, you know that?” Laura asked with faked disgruntlement.

“Take it or leave it, cutie,” the pilot replied with a wink and took a sip of her carbonated water.

“You could take me dancing at least.”

Carmilla shrugged and turned to peek at the dance floor. The awful singing was momentarily interrupted by club music so the patrons could dance away the drunk and go back to singing without slurring every word. She finished the rest of her bottle and stood up beside Laura, offering the woman her hand expectantly.

Laura giggled as she stood up and took the marine’s hand in hers. Normally, she wouldn’t be thrilled to be stuck between sweating bodies bumping into her, but as she discovered a few months ago, Carmilla was really great at making sure people didn’t get too close to the sailor. It had become a ritual over their long down time: Have dinner together, come here and not drink, sing karaoke sober and then dance.

And let’s face it, it’s not like Laura would purposely turn down an opportunity to be close to Carmilla. She felt the marine pull them towards the mass of people. She felt Danny’s eyes on her back but soon forgot about anyone else because Carmilla was giving her that smile that showed off her free spirited nature, which she noticed her heart was really responsive to and really _how_ could she look away?

After a while LaF and Perry also found themselves on the dance floor, almost reliving the time before they were ‘real’ adults. They did sometimes feel bad for not being around Jamie all the time, but LaF had read that it can put a lot of stress on new parents and consequently kill their intimacy which they _really_ didn’t want to see happen. It was awkward enough trying to make love with a cast on for months; they didn’t want to turn into romance-less robots.

Danny watched until she couldn’t see her friends anymore as more people joined and obscured her view. She sighed and looked down at her glass. It’s not like she could prevent Carmilla and Laura from being this close and touching each other by staring at them like a hawk; and wishing wouldn’t suddenly plop her into Carmilla’s boots. So why give herself a heart ache over an outcome she couldn’t change? Maybe it was time to stop pining after Laura Hollis. Maybe it was time to get out there and-

“Hey there, tall and gorgeous,” a woman greeted lively. “You seem a bit lonely.”

The blonde that had been trying to get her attention all night was now standing in front of her, smiling brightly down at her. _Damn she’s tall! And beautiful and I-_ “Eh, yeah, I, umm.” _One word at a time, Danny, one word at a time._ “Hi.” _Congratulations! You suck._

“Mind if I sit?” the woman asked, though she had already taken Laura’s previous place.

“You just did,” Danny joked with a small smile. _Hey, your first full sentence!_

“Observant,” she retorted quickly while extending her hand out in front of her. “I’m Betty.”

They shook hands briefly, yet the warmth and softness from the woman’s fingers left a lasting impression. “Danny.”

“You didn’t join your friends to dance?”

“Not my thing really. Long limbs are more trouble than they look.” She extended her legs from under the table for emphasis.

Betty chuckled and nodded, “Tell me about it! It took me years to learn how to walk in heels without feeling like a tree on a windy day.” They both shared a laugh at their shared, albeit exaggerated, experience. Betty caught the woman’s blue eyes for a moment before starting the customary game of twenty questions, “So, what brings you to Beaufort? Do you live in the city?”

“Work, mostly. And no, I live on the military base.”

“Ah, a soldier,”

“At your service,” the corpsman said, throwing in a perfect salute for good measure.

“What branch?” the woman asked curiously as she placed her chin on her closed fist. Usually a pose individuals would take when uninterested, but Betty’s tone was far from it.

“I was trained with the Navy, and now I’m working with the Marines as a ground corpsman.”

Betty whistled slowly, leaning slightly forward as they continued their conversation. “That’s impressive. I actually did four years in the Army, just the regular grunt work. After my contract ended I realized what I really wanted to do.”

“Which was?”

“Cop.”

Danny laughed, “So different and diverse.”

The officer simply raised an amused eyebrow and stuck out her tongue at her. There was something about this soldier’s company that made her feel comfortable, perhaps because Betty knew Danny could understand things that even her coworkers in the force couldn’t. “You know how it is out there.”

“Yeah.” It was hard not to know when your hands were drenched in blood every so often.

“I knew I couldn’t do much, and sure helping the locals did some good but their underlying problem in war are the bad guys and you can’t completely erase terrorism without eradicating a whole culture of unfortunate civilians along with it.”

“You’re absolutely right.”

“And I’m not saying that soldiers are useless.”

Danny smiled and glanced down at her drink briefly. _Damn, I’m out._ “Right, right and God knows civilians overseas need help and protection.”

“Exactly. Those people do need support, even if we can’t get rid of terrorism today or in the next ten years, they have a right to live just like anyone else. I just felt like, personally, I could do more good at home, changing people I know so they would in turn do the same. We can’t truly help others if we need help ourselves.”

Danny mused silently for a while, frown lines creasing her brow – which Betty found completely adorable. “Part of that is true, but most of it depends on a person’s awareness of strengths and weaknesses while being able to truly love others in a genuine way.”

“So you believe in altruism?”

“I believe people can be selfless yes, they just need to recognize we have enough love to go around for everyone.”

Betty smiled warmly. “That’s quite positivist of you, soldier.” She could easily tell that this woman possessed a good heart, and maybe it was her experience from her time in the force, but the stress lines around her eyes and mouth told of story of both kindness and hardship that Betty was definitely interested in uncovering.

“You have to be,” Danny answered with a shrug.

Betty changed her position, and talked a little more animatedly with her hands – kind of like Laura, Danny thought to herself. “That’s true. With everything that I see on the streets, I think part of what you’re saying is true, love is what’s missing from the equation most of the time. Some of it is situational, some relational, and in most of the cases I encounter, selflessness could have helped a great deal.”

She nodded sadly, “It’s like people don’t know we have fully functional hearts we can use.”

“Sad truth that plagues us.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, neither saying anything yet both surprised about the missing awkwardness. Danny was the first to break the silence with a laugh.

The officer’s eyebrow rose slowly, “Yes?” she drawled.

“It’s just that you’d never expect to have such a deep and personal conversation with a stranger in a karaoke bar in _Beaufort_ ,” she explained as if this was as farfetched as Hawaii getting five centimeters of snow in the middle of summer.

“Do you think it’s situational or relational?” Betty joked, earning a snorted laugh out of the corpsman in return.

“How about we stick to the simple ‘so do you come here often?’ questions?”

“We can do that, gorgeous.”

“You often call strangers gorgeous - _twice_?”

“Only the ones that are,” was her truthful answer.

“How about another drink?” It might not seem like much, but to Danny the simple offer was a big step. She was so sure Laura was the one that she hadn’t realized that in a world where there were 7 billion other individuals, it was simply impossible to only fall in love with one person.

Betty let out an exaggerated sigh and teased the other woman, “About time you ask! I was getting dry here,” she finished with a wink.

“Cop types,” Danny shook her head and stood up, “so pushy.”

“Maybe that’s true, but aren’t soldiers good at taking orders?”

Danny let out a loud belly laugh. There was nothing more she could say. Check and mate.

_I like her._

Again, does it matter who thought it?

(You guessed it, they both did).

 

* * *

 

 

Laura and Carmilla took a much needed break from dancing and were now standing in line in the narrow corridor that led to the washrooms. Of course, everyone else who was dancing decided it was also the perfect time for a restroom break; though the two soldiers didn’t mind much.

Laura’s back rested against the questionably clean wall while Carmilla stood a breath away in front of her. They were in the middle of debating the proper etiquette for ballroom dancing in the 16th century and Laura was just about to question how the pilot was so knowledgeable about that time period when a coordinated challenged person accidently bumped into Carmilla’s back, lurching her forward onto Laura.

Carmilla reflexively placed her hands against the wall beside Laura, preventing their heads from bumping. The first thing the pilot noticed were the flecks of gold shining in Laura’s darkening whiskey eyes, and the little mole near the corner of her mouth.

Laura was pinned between Carmilla body and the wall, and patiently she waited for the darkness to engulf her, but it didn’t. Her heart was practically beating itself dumb against her ribcage and it wasn’t fear or anxiety that paralyzed her this time, it was Carmilla’s smoldering gaze not leaving hers. She could feel the quickening of the woman’s breath on her lips and against her chest and Laura unconsciously moved her hands to grasp Carmilla’s hips.

Carmilla moved one hand from the wall to push back Laura’s bangs behind her ear, the back of her fingers grazed Laura’s cheek languidly. “You’re beautiful,” she whispered thickly.

“Carm…” God, is that what her voice sounded like? She barely recognized it. “What are you doing?” she asked softly, though it sounded more like a plea.

“Do I really have to spell it out for ya, Hollis?”

The corpsman was transfixed, that is, until Carmilla’s nose slid against hers. And with the most painful expression – and a little self-hatred – Laura moved her head enough so that instead of their lips touching, their cheeks were pressed together. She felt Carmilla twitch, as she was probably about to pull back to stare at her with the cutest frown, Laura imagined, but she didn’t let her and instead held Carmilla against her.

If Carmilla was confused a few seconds ago, she was doubly confused now. Laura purposely avoided a kiss but she was holding her and nuzzling her neck? Maybe that was how Laura showed affection in her neck of the woods, but to the pilot it was full-fledged sugar coated rejection.

Before Carmilla could question her, Laura pulled back and stared at her with unshed tears in her eyes. “Carm, I-“ Taking a deep, shuddering breath Laura licked her lips and continued, unable to meet the marine’s eyes. “I’m not sure I’m ready to do the whole relationship thing yet. And yes I know maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, a kiss doesn’t mean you necessarily want to be with me, but eh, I-“

“Laura, it’s okay. You don’t have to justify yourself.”

“No, Carm, I do. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea that-“

Carmilla interrupted her, assured she knew what Laura was going to say. “-you like me back?”

“Will you let me finish my goddamn sentence you obstinate, mule-headed marine!” Laura shouted, exasperated. She didn’t want to flat out scream at the woman, but the corpsman wondered if there was something blocking her ears. _Her ego, probably_ , Laura thought.

“Laur-“

Laura held up a hand, “Shush!” She had taken a momentary break to calm herself, needing to communicate her thoughts in the most understandable ways – which is something she often had trouble with. “Do I need to spell it out for you, Karnstein?”

The marine chuckled slightly and Laura’s anger completely dissipated. Laura’s grin was teasing at first, but it lacked a little luster Carmilla noticed.

“I like you, a lot, in the sense that I would love nothing more than having a naked you on a naked me – possibly for hours at a time - but I just need time to…figure some things out first and I can’t say how long it’s going to take. And it’s totally fine if you’re not cool with that.” _I wouldn’t wait for me, why would she want to?_

Carmilla did literally just say she was interested in her, yet Laura’s confidence still remained squashed under the lie that she wasn’t worth anyone’s time, especially not someone so well-rounded – a little annoying at time – but altogether amazing like Carmilla.

“Whatever you need to do Laura.” Carmilla watched the corpsman’s face for a sign that she understood, yet all she saw was confusion. “I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

Laura smiled. Big. Like huge, toothy, grin big. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she agreed softly.

Laura must have believed her this time because she actually squealed? And jumped a little and then threw her arms around Carmilla’s neck and planted a quick peck on her cheek. Some people turned around to look at them, but the two soldiers never noticed the extra set of eyes on them.

The door to the washroom opened and Carmilla hadn’t noticed there were next in line but apparently Laura did because she stuck out her tongue at the marine and ran in, closing the door behind her.

Carmilla could only shake hear head and laugh as she stared at the closed door. If she was honest with herself, admitting her feelings to the corpsman went way better than all the ways she had imagined it would. Maybe the door wasn’t fully closed and maybe she could help Laura unpack some baggage that desperately needed airing after all.

And talking about closed doors, the very literal one in front of her hadn’t been shut properly and Carmilla wasn’t about to pass up a golden opportunity to scare Laura off her toilet seat.

(That angry, bunched up face she did was _hilarious_ ).

 


	8. The Hardest Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work outs, panic attacks, and unfinished resolutions.
> 
> Co-written by Steph (wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (leonard-cohen-the-second.tumblr.com).
> 
> TW: Physical and emotional abuse heavily in this chapter. Please be careful.
> 
> Also! If you have not realized, every chapter is named after a song that we think is great ambiance/has helped us get into the mood to write the chapter. This one is named The Hardest Mistakes for a good reason, and totally suggest to put it on as you read!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I will be thoroughly kicking both our butts in gears to get these chapters out in a somewhat timely fashion. But even if a while passes, please remember that everyone has lives and it's hard to juggle all of the activities in the day!  
> Enjoy~

**June 26th**

**0900hrs**

**Beaufort Air Station,**

**Beaufort County, South Carolina**

 

On a very early morning, early for Laura anyways, LaFontaine drags a resistant and pouty sailor to a workout session. You'd think after waking up every morning at 4am during basic training would dictate nothing ever was really "too early". And that’s true, for every soldier except Laura, apparently. She wasn't a lazy person, per say. She did spend a lot of time running and training while deployed as it made a good distraction for the chaos around them - and the chaos in her head. Though she's certain that training had no effect calming the second one, like at all. And people say working out helps clears their mind.

Laura jumps up on the treadmill as she watches LaF pump 100 pounds on seated cable rows from the corner of her eye. She notices how even though they're puffing out heavy breaths on each pull, they seem relaxed and happy. People often perceive Laura that way as well, and yet they're completely wrong. She had learned a long time ago how any emotion can be easily simulated if you want to make people believe it hard enough.

After pressing a couple of buttons, she quickly adjusts to the comfortable running pace the machine sets for her.

Perhaps the first step to her deliverance is to stop trying to find reason to her unhappiness in other people's joy. She sure as hell isn't going to find an answer there. And maybe there isn't one for her, not anywhere, at least not right now. Life is the ultimate quest that requires so much patience and hard work. People often fool themselves thinking they’ll figure it all out in the span of a few years.

Laura still wishes she didn't need to simulate anything, though. letting go of the past is a task that is not suited for the faint of heart, especially when it comes with extreme feelings of sadness, anger, loneliness, worthlessness and it reminds you everyday that anything you accomplish in this life is worth absolutely nothing to the ones you love - the ones that should love you. She shakes her head angrily, pushing her legs harder on the treadmill - a way to punish herself for a hatred that’s, in reality, targeted at her father. Focus on something positive for once. Forget about the crap, Hollis: it’s meant for the sewers, Carmilla would say.

She takes a quick drag out of her water bottle and sets it back down, taking in a sharp breath as she tries to keep her breathing well-timed. What makes me happy? Chocolate? Cookies...chocolate cookies.

That got a smile out of her. It’s a start.

My job. My co-workers. My friends. Carmilla. Carmilla’s ass-Right. Happy, not horny.

It isn’t just about that, is it? Her attraction to Carmilla is far more than just physical. Laura doesn’t need to simulate joy when the marine is around. Yet, she knows all too well that isn’t the key to true happiness. Using someone as a crutch is not truly getting over the issue causing the problem in the first place.

Using anyone for anything isn’t justifiable for any reason, which is why Laura had decided to stop seeing Danny for the occasional romp between the sheets. It’s been two weeks now since she’s made that decision - isn’t it amazing how a sex hiatus can get someone to work out more? Besides, Laura feels she owes Danny that much, and she couldn’t possibly start a relationship with Carmilla with that baggage on her shoulders, piled on top of the already heavy weight that had been there from the beginning.

Today, two weeks later, Laura and Carmilla’s routine had departed the land of friendship, and is now slowly embarking on something else. It has become intimate, almost in the stage of courting, but not quite. Carmilla gave Laura more space without pushing her away or lowering herself to using dirty tactics to force her into a suffocating relationship. She understands Carmilla is respecting the sailor’s decision, which brings forth a whole new level of feelings to surface for the dark woman.

There is one more thing, however, Laura should really be more careful about smiling too much and not paying attention to her feet, especially when she’s on a treadmill.

“Woah.” The ground shakes from the abrupt heavy barbells LaFontaine drops onto it. They stand up to walk over towards the cardio equipment, all perfectly lined up in neat rows. “You okay there short stack?”

“You’re like,” pant, “two inches taller than I am,” Laura had lost count on how many times she’s had to repeat that same sentence to the same person. “And,” she drags out with some irritation, but mostly to catch her breath, “I’m fine. Just, lost balance.”

“Taller is the keyword here, Hollis.” With a smirk, they return to their exercise. Sitting upright, LaFontaine curls both of their hands around the 40 pound dumbbells and brings them overhead for a set of Arnold shoulder presses. “What were you smiling about there?” Curiosity never killed them, yet. And they do love seeing Laura blush.

“I wasn’t smiling,” is spoken with a mix of both resentment and embarrassment.

Grunt. Exhale. Louder grunt. “I bet you had more cramps in your cheeks than in your quads.”

Laura simply responds with a short, indignant ‘Mm,’ as her cool down period on the treadmill comes to an end. She takes hold of her towel and dabs the pearling sweat from her face, neck and chest.

“Nah, I mean, it’s not a bad thing.” Grunt, grunt, puff. “Whatever,” exhale, “or whoever’s making you smile that way-” Long, silent pause.

Laura looks back at their friend, who’s face is currently clenched tightly as they’re pushing the last repetition off with shaky arms. LaF and Carmilla are so alike in many ways, and Laura notices that their differences lie in the following: Where the young parent is more macho, the marine excels in suaveness.

A loud roar of victory resounds in the empty training room (waking up at 4am during deployment can make some soldiers a little addicted to sleep. Laura would most likely do the same, if it wasn’t for the annoying ache in her groin).

“-don’t stop thinking about ‘em,” LaFontaine finishes.

“Right,” Well, speaking about ‘them’, “Carmilla wants to go out. New club, out in the city.”

“Can’t tonight, we don’t have a sitter and we wanted to spend some time with Jamie.”

“Aren’t you scared of the trouble we could get into without the two of you to parent us?”

“That’s Perry’s job. I, on the other hand, will wait impatiently to hear about your law breaking nightly adventures.”

“We’re officers, we don’t - and can’t - just go and purposely break the law.”

“Say that to the cops who chased you and Carm through the bush.”

Laura opens her mouth to say something, but it hangs there, in shock that LaF would remember and bring up that extremely embarrassing evening. “That was once! We didn’t know it was private property.” In truth they were looking for a refreshing pond to skinny dip in at 2 am. They didn’t get that far, thankfully.

“Youths these days, I swear...” Laura never drinks, LaFontaine knows that much, but Carmilla being sober that night - that was a surprise.

Laura eyed up to the digital clock on the wall as she stretches her neck. She turns to LaFontaine quickly, “Weren’t we we meeting Perry for lunch?”

“Yup, Soon.” LaF answers cheerfully, as they grab their towel and smack the sailor’s ass with it while they make a mad dash out of the room, laughing maniacally as a furious tiny ball of rage was hot on their heals shouting something they can’t quite understand over their own laughter.

Direction: showers.

* * *

 

 

Their night out was eventful, as it usually is with with the marine. Morning was quickly approaching, though still a few hours away, as the pair decided to call it quits. Carmilla had, naturally, made another dozen friends. A recurring theme for the woman, Laura notices. It made her wonder if it was charisma and charm or just pure black magic.

How can a person attract the attention of so many without conjuring black magic at least once. Laura considers asking, but instead she opts for hitching a ride on the woman’s back as they step out of the bar and into the street. It’s quiet out there in contrast to the ear bleeding level of noise inside, Laura notices as she lazily slings her arms around Carmilla’s neck.

“It’s not ‘cause the Sarge makes us do these drills that you have to test me back home, cupcake.”

“Where’s your will and determination marine?” Laura attempts to speak sternly but it turns into a mess of giggles. She feels the marine’s arms clench around her legs as they make their way to Carmilla's car.

Laura rests her chin on top of the woman’s head and sighs peacefully. “My feet hurt from all the dancing.”

A scoff, “You’re wearing sneakers.”

“They’re not my _dancing_ sneakers.”

“Mmm, and I’m sure those are gold and sparkly?”

“Yep,” Laura replies cheerfully, “and they’re cushioned like a mattress.”

“Sounds ridiculous, cutie, but I’ll bet you could pull it off.”

Laura simply laughs and closes her eyes, tightening her arms around Carmilla. A few quiet moments pass and they stop moving. She opens her eyes to see they made it to their destination a little too quickly for Laura’s taste. She was enjoying the extra height, the wind in her face, the proximity of Carmilla’s warm body.

“Down you go,” Carmilla says as she slowly lowers the sailor down. She chuckles as she watches a groggy Laura attempt to regain her footing. She feels a hand on her arm as Laura decides to take off her shoes.

Karnstein fishes her keys out of her jacket pocket and unlocks the doors. The cute, dorky act always makes her heart flutter and she can’t remember when and where her mind was when her heart was taken over by long, chestnut hair and sparkly brown eyes. She decides to ponder on the matter later.

Carmilla gallantly steps back and gestures for Laura to enter, “The car is ready for your backside, m’lady.”

“Take us home, chauffeur” Laura sighs overdramatically, as she steps into the vehicle as she flips her hair sideways.

Carmilla laughs as she closes the door and walks around the Mustang to slide into the driver’s seat. The use of the word ‘us’ wasn’t lost on her, and wonders if that implies a sleepover. It had been a while since they did that, as Carm was adamant on being respectful of not pushing Laura to make any kind of hasty decision.

She could sit here all night and ponder, perhaps, or just straight out ask the woman - which she did, eventually. “Home, meaning?”

“Mine,” Laura smiles slightly. “I washed your clothes from last time you were over.”

“Good. Yours it is,” Carmilla starts the car and pulls out of the driveway, heading for the north-east highway. Taking the main streets wouldn’t be the slower alternative at this time of the night, but she couldn’t pass up an opportunity to push this beast to its limit.

Laura had gotten used to it, so much in fact that the hum of the engine lulls her into sleep as Carmilla hit the 120 mph mark. Carmilla had two choices of noises to pick to listen to for the ride: Laura’s snoring or the Fastback’s big block engine revving on the 6th gear.

When they arrived, the marine thinks that a quick wake up was in order, to avoid mumbles and endless tiny sighs accompanied by painfully whispered ‘no’s’. Even if they made her heart flutter to her throat even more than it usually was. So instead she raises her pinky to her mouth, lathers it up like a slobbering dog and twist it in Laura’s ear.

Laura feels an uncomfortable wetness, and not the kind you get from the right dreams. And then there’s this squishy noise, like she’s submerged in water. She squirms slightly, and when she finally wakes she a flash of a smirking Carmilla before said culprit dashes out of the car.

“What the fuck, Carmilla!”

“We’re here,” the marine shouts back.

God! Why is everyone doing this to me today? Laura was beginning to think her friends got a kick off of seeing her angrily running after them, which wasn’t all that far from the truth. “Yeah, you’d better run, Karnstein!”

They managed to get into Laura’s appartment without harming each other, and their surroundings, too much. They both shed off their jackets, and when Carmilla takes off her boots that’s when Laura realises she isn’t wearing any shoes.

“They’re in my car, cutie.”

“How-”

“You were frowning down at your toes and pouting.” With some effort, Carmilla plops off her second boot and lets it fall on the ground. “I put two and two together.”

Laura contemplates going back out to get them, but her stomach speaks up, rather loudly. Needless to say she forgets all about her shoes.

Carmilla flips the lights on, and Laura jumps back, crashing into the marine behind her when she sees there’s someone on her couch. A moment later, she recognizes the figure, though the familiarity fails to relax her.

“Dad?”

“Don’t call me that, girl," is spoken groggily and with such effort it wasn't hard to notice the alcohol hanging stagnant in the air now.

Not even a complete sentence out of his mouth and there are already tears springing at her eyes. She barely chokes out the question, “What are you doing here?”

“Jus’ checking ‘ff my shuspicions were right.” He grunts, taking another swig of Laura's alcohol she keeps only for show, and stares straight ahead of him. "Dinnt know you grew finally 'nd started wearin' black."

Laura feels Carmilla tense up behind her, knowing the man had gone through Laura's belongings. She backs up into the comforting warmth of the marine. “What suspicions, dad?”

Todd stands up abruptly, throwing his glass - Laura’s glass - at the wall where it shatters and crumbles to the carpet. “I said don’t call me that, god dammit!” The breaking of the glass, the screaming, it shocks her into another panic attack. The darkness closes in on her vision and all she sees is her father, standing there, screaming at her. She can’t understand what he’s saying, but she knows it wasn’t something you’d say to your pastor on a Sunday morning.

He’s getting closer now, his face all red and his eyes beedy, and looking more agitated by the minute. His fists clenches at his sides, the vein in his neck about ready to pop. Laura knows all too well what was coming next, knows she can’t stop it.

Where was her mom?

She sees his fist raise in the air, and her automatic response is to close her eyes tightly and to shield herself as best she can with her hands, unable to show any signs of formal training the military provides. After a while, she wonders when the pain will come. This time it doesn’t.

Tentatively, Laura peaks behind her arms to see that her father wasn't anywhere near her. When did he move? Was he even there to begin with? She turns to look for Carmilla behind her, but finds the woman gone as well.

Okay, what the hell is happening?

She turns around again, and sees both Carmilla and her father screaming in each other’s faces. The voices are getting louder and louder, until the noise level reverberates in her bones and she feels her legs giving out below her, making her lose her balance; she falls to the ground clutching to her head. She can't whimper, only scream, “Shut up, shut up, EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!”

Everything just... stopped. There was no tinkling of glass, no shouting or insults or flurry of hands meeting flesh. Just peace and quiet. Finally.

They both stare at her, even Todd stops for a split second though she doubted he was fully comprehending what was happening, and when Laura finds the strength to look up, she sees the relative peace break as her father throws a sucker punch at Carmilla's mouth. The air around changes, almost as if Carmilla's aura sparks to life, and there’s something in the usually bright whiskey eyes that makes Laura believe that was the last ounce of patience the marine had with her father.

“Laura, call the cops,” she says while she wipes away the blood spilling from the corner of her mouth with her thumb. “And an ambulance,” she snarls at the drunken man before she lunges forward. The size and height advantage did nothing to save Todd from Carmilla quickly overpowering him and a flurry of quickly timed punches were thrown accurately into the man's face and body.

Hollis quickly scrambles to her feet and runs into the kitchen, sliding to a stop when she spots her cell phone on the counter, but she doesn't catch herself fast enough as her hip bangs painfully into the marble. She quickly dials 911 and an officer answers almost immediately. Laura can’t hear her voice as she speaks, she thinks it must be the ringing in her head from all that screaming, but whatever she’s saying must be getting the job done as the officer informs her that a unit will be there shortly.

God, did I even give them my address? I don’t know. She finds herself dialing another number, this time she finds, it was Danny’s.

“Dan?”

“Laura? What time is it?” Danny asks, her voice thick with sleep though her attention finally snaps to the nickname Laura only used in certain situations. She turns on her side, her elbow holding her at attention in bed. "Laur, what's wrong?”

“M-My dad and Carmilla are fighting,” she rushes out quickly, glancing behind her, almost afraid of what she’ll see.

“What?”

“Please come, I-!” Laura just about finishes her sentence when she sees a bottle in mid flight before it crashes against her fridge and shatters on the ceramic tiles, covering the kitchen floor in liquid and sharp pieces of glass.

“Laura? Laura? Dammit!” The line’s already dead. Danny is well aware it’s never a simple argument over a football game or a wrong chess move when Laura’s father is in the mix. She knows Todd, regrettably. He was the kind of man they warn you about in basic.

Danny arrives well before the police, seeing as she lives down the street, still in her pajamas. She can hear the commotion of the fighting before even stepping on Laura’s stoop, so she rushes the last steps and forces the door open with a strong shoulder barge. Blood, broken glass, the living room was barely recognizable - like it had just gotten a macabre makeover.

Todd is hunched over, both of his arms up in the air above his head. Carmilla’s arms are holding them there tightly as she continuously knees him in the stomach and chest.

“Carmilla that’s enough!” Danny jumps into the fray, attempting to push the two apart. Finally she manages to make Carmilla loose her grip on Todd, and Danny snags the chance to trap clutch the marine’s arms at her sides.

Laura’s father looks like he was about to pass out, but he stands back up, shaky and wobbly, like a zombie rising from the dead. He wastes no time and lunges forward at the dark woman once again. Danny is quick to turn her body to shield Carmilla from the attack, but he knocks them both down before trying to drunkenly aim more punches in Carmilla's general direction.

Loud footsteps can be heard from the hallway and in just a few minutes the apartment is swarming with officers. It only took four of them to subdue Carmilla and cuff her, while it took three to pin Todd to the ground and secure his hands.

Danny comes out with a cut above her nose, it’s bleeding but lucky for her it isn’t deep. She was going to speak to an officer on Carm’s behalf when she spots a familiar face in the mass of uniforms. “Betty?”

The officer makes her way around the bodies crowding the room, smiling with a grimace when she spots the tall woman, “Lawrence, what the heck happened here?”

“I’ll explain later, but right now you need to do me a favour.” Danny wraps her hand around the woman’s arm and drags her away from earshot. “Carmilla’s a marine. This can’t get out, anywhere.”

“That’s a pretty tall order. I’ll consider it once you explain to me what happened.”

Danny’s jaw clenches at the sight of a struggling Carmilla. She looks wild...animalistic even. Yet, as soon as Laura comes into her line of sight, she calms down just like someone pressed a secret off switch. The officers are not letting Laura approach Carmilla, forcing her back, and the look on both of their faces is one of longing and despair. Though there’s that desperate hope that the other can take all that pain away.

Danny looks down at her hands, and she immediately regrets her decision as the pain from her nose suddenly shoots up to her forehead and throbs all around her head. Groaning, she throws her head back again, eying the blond officer from the corner of her eyes. “Just...get her out of the cuffs please.”

With a nod, Betty turns to one of the officers holding Carmilla and speaks loud enough to be heard over all the other voices: “Lewis, she looks like she needs a cold shower. And when she’s calmed down, release her.”

The officer immediately acknowledges the direct comamnd. “Yes ma’am,”

Betty turns back towards Danny, waiting for her to say something. “I’m waiting, gorgeous.”

Danny watches as Lewis escorts Carmilla and Laura in the upstairs bathroom after asking both of them if there was anyone else in the house. When they’re out of sight, she gestures to the couch with her head.

Danny sinks down with a sigh, letting her head fall against the backrest of the couch. The alcohol seeping into it makes her head sting and she wants to vomit. “I don’t know exactly what happened. Laura called me in panic, I heard glass breaking and I ran over. When I got here, these two were going at it like caged animals.”

Betty raises a skeptical eyebrow. There was absolutely nothing in that statement that told her Carmilla was the victim here.

Lawrence leans forward, agitating her arms in slight panic. “Trust me, I can vouch for Carmilla, she’s wouldn’t get in a fight over anything. That man, he’s Laura’s dad - he’s nothing but trouble.”

“I’ll look into it. But I can’t promise you anything.”

“We’re out there risking our lives 8 months out of the year, for you, the least you can do is trust us.” Sighing, Danny takes a breath to regain some composure. Getting angry now is not going to fix anything. “Betty, you understand what could happen if this gets out. You know better than anyone what’s at stake here.”

There was heavy sigh from the cop. Sure, it wasn’t exactly ethical, but officers are officers and anyone willing to die for their country earns the right to have the benefit of the doubt. If the offence isn’t grave, it’s better to just sweep it under the rug. Although, isn’t that the controversy? Give a certain group more freedom and they’ll think they can be exempted from all law.

Betty was seriously going to investigate this, and if the marine does have a legit record and no similar incidents, then she’d be make good on her favour. “If this story doesn’t pan out, tazmanian devil over there is going in for a day.”

Thank God! Danny isn’t exactly ecstatic that the woman she loves fell for Carmilla, but Danny’s feelings are her own and she can’t blame them anything or anyone other than herself. And she wasn’t going let let Todd’s pathetic existence ruin the career of a bright marine. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

“What we wouldn’t do for a pretty face,” the officer mutters, though the smirk on Danny’s face tells her she heard Betty loud and clear. “And if you want to keep it that way, you might want to put some ice on that, sweetie.”

“Will do, officer...” she squints her eyes to get a better look at the woman’s name tag. “Speakdwarf,” the laugh causes her nose slight pain, but it was well worth it.

“Spielsdorf, it’s Austrian.”

“That’s what I said, Spieldwarts.”

Betty chuckles, shaking her head. “Get out of here, I have someone to investigate.”

“Make sure you speak with Laura.” Danny turns around, “Call me after.”

“I will.”

Danny simply smiles and walks up towards the bathroom, where the officer took her friends earlier. The sight of Carmilla dripping wet, looking like a displeased cat who was forced to take a bath is almost worth the throbbing pain in her face. She exchanges quick hugs with them before heading out.

Hell of a night. I need a beer.

* * *

 

 

It was nearing 8 am, and Lawrence got just about four hours of sleep when her phone rang, disturbing her slumber once again. They better not make a habit out of this.

“Yes?” she grunts out.

“Danny? Sorry if I’m disturbing you-”

“No, don’t worry, I did ask you to call me.”

“Well, you were right," Betty said, her voice slightly garbled from the connection. "Todd Hollis was into five reported bar fights in the last 3 weeks. Stayed over night a couple of times. Sad thing is, it’s all he’s ever going to get, unless he seriously injures someone. He’ll be out soon.”

“Fuck, are you serious?”

“As a heart attack sweetie. There was nothing I could do.”

“This isn’t on you, you’ve done enough.” Danny makes a mental note to give Laura and Carmilla a heads up about her father’s early release. Our justice system is really broken isn’t it?

“Not a problem. And I’ve contacted a few of Corporal Karnstein’s superiors. Not one had a bad thing to say about the woman.”

“Have you heard from them, how’s Carmilla?”

“Broken knuckles,” she says simply.

Danny chuckles slightly - the marine would always surprise her. Figures. That woman punches like a street fighter. Built like one too. “And Laura?”

“Physically, fine. Mentally, I think it would be beneficial if she’d see a counselor.”

“She’s currently seeing one. Her counselor is shipped home and back out the same time we do.”

“I was told she hadn’t gone in a few months.”

“A-alright,” sigh, “I’ll look into it.” _Why cut off her support when she’s closest to the source of her pain? Why do you always do this to yourself? Dammit, Hollis._ Rubbing the headache that’s already settling in, Danny asks, “ And ss for the other thing we talked about?”

“The report is legit, I just..altered some things. No one is going to ask questions.”

“Good.”

“All in a day’s work.”

“And Betty?”

“You’ve thanked me enough, Lawrence.”

“I-I just wanted to know if you could come over? To Talk!” Danny added a little too quickly. “I don’t know, I could use a little…”

“Comfort?”

“Yeah...comfort.”

Betty grins as she gives her watch a quick glance. “Well I’m officially off duty in a minute. I’ll be right over.”

“Tha-”

“Don’t you dare.”

Danny laughs, loudly, “Fine, fine. See you in a few.” As soon as she puts the phone down, she springs out of bed and runs into the bathroom. She figures she has enough time to throw some water in her face and at least brush her teeth before Betty arrives.

Ugh, my hair’s a mess...Pony tail it is.

Just about fifteen minutes later, the doorbell rings and Danny stops herself from all out running towards the door. When she opens it, the officer is standing on the other side with her uniform jacket hanging on her arm. The navy shirt under looks a little worse for wear, like it’s been sitting in the bottom of a drawer for a few weeks, yet it still clings to the tall woman in all the right places.

“Hey,” Danny smiles, uneasy; why am I so damn nervous around this woman?

Betty’s eyebrows shoot up at Lawrence’s choice outfit, “You usually answer the door with no pants on, or is it a morning special?”

_Aaaaand I forgot to put pants on. Great. Here I am, answering my door to an officer of the law whom I could potentially date...in my underwear. Just...screw it._

Danny grabs one of Betty’s arm and pulls her inside quickly, then backs her up back against the door, effectively closing it with the weight of both of their bodies crashing into it.

Their lips are grazing when Betty speaks, “That your idea of comfort, soldier?”

“Sailor - and right now...yeah, it is,” she whispers before taking Betty’s lips between her own.

Danny always thought it would be...different, or, wrong even, to be intimate with someone else than Laura. We like to fool ourselves when we’re obsessed, and that’s what it was. Danny can’t even say it was still love at that point - it was simply possessiveness, and it was hurting Laura as much as herself.

Though, right now, the past is looking a little fuzzy; Betty’s tongue is in her mouth doing wonderful things and she’s slowly forgetting who she is or where they are.

* * *

 

 

When Carmilla wakes up, the first thing she feels is tremendous pain in her hands. She tries to move them, but they’re restricted by something. Groaning, she tries to move, but something warm is clinging to her back. The corporal opens her eyes and she frowns, not only from the harsh rays of the morning sun, but from the unfamiliar surroundings. She moves her head to look around and notices how clean the room is and how it’s dreadfully lacking a little personalization.

_Yup, I’m at Laura’s._

Carmilla tries to sit up, but something's holding her down. Oh, right. She stares down at the arms wrapped around her torso. Smiling, she carefully untangles Laura’s hands from her body, though she’s having some difficulty as she’s finding it incredibly hard to get her fingers to cooperate.

_Must have busted more than one knuckle. Fucking hurts._

Getting up slowly, careful not to make any sound, Carmilla tip toes around the room to grab a pair of pj pants from the pile of clean laundry Hollis had folded perfectly the night before.

Would it kill her to leave a mess?

Carmilla leaves the room and heads to the washroom only a few steps away. When she’s pulling on the cotton pants, she gets a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Surprisingly she doesn’t look like someone who stayed up late and got into a fist fight, though her muscles are making her know that it did truly happen. Last night’s situation was a nuclear explosion waiting to happen, the detonator being Todd. The marine understands this, Laura does too, and doesn’t hold anything against Carmilla for it...but it still isn’t sitting right with her.

Nothing can justify her actions. Karnstein’s not one to lose her cool so easily; and maybe it was the fear in Laura that had triggered the defensive response, or perhaps it was the hurtful words Todd was hurling at both of them. Either way, her career could have very well ended last night if Betty and Lawrence hadn’t been there.

She owes them everything.

Carmilla moves to sit on the side of the tub, looking down at the crimson stained bandages around her hands. Aside from the broken bones, a few pieces of glass had shredded some skin along the way.

Her jaw clenches as she remembers bits and pieces of the fight. So much anger - where did it all come from so suddenly? _Instead of letting go of control, you tried to hold on to it. What did you think was going to happen you knuckle head? You wanted Laura’s father to pay, you don’t know exactly what he did, but you can piece it together, and you wanted him to suffer, like Laura did - like she’s suffering right now._

The anger was slowly bubbling to surface again, but Carmilla wasn’t going to let it best her once again. Closing her eyes, the marine takes a moment to clear her head and focus on her breathing; only on her breathing. She can hear the clock ticking in the kitchen, the fridge’s radiator humming - the normalcy of these noises bring about a sense of peace and security. They aren’t things you can control, they’re things you have to get used to.

The Corporal hears footsteps. Light, and undoubtedly Laura’s. They become louder, the floor creaking along with every step and then - silence. There’s a soft knock at the door; Carmilla smiles.

“Come in.”

Laura slowly opens the door, like she’s unaware of what she might find on the other side. “Carm?”

“Hey.” She doesn’t know what to say. What can she say?

Laura’s eyes widen as they fall on the marine’s hands. She didn’t think it was that bad, at least it didn’t seem that way yesterday. Last night was intense, emotionally, but she feels horrible for not paying more attention to Carmilla’s wounds.

She turns to rummage in her cabinets, looking for the medical kit she knows she left there. When she finally gets her hands on it, she sinks to her knees just in front of Carmilla. “You need to change those,” Laura pushes some hair back away from her face, behind her ear as she opens the kit and grabs the roll of gauze. “I-I’ll do it for you.”

“Sure thing, cutie.”

Laura chuckles softly as she takes one of Carmilla’s hands and very carefully peels away the stained bandages. It's strange doing it on someone other than herself, Laura thinks as she methodically unwraps the bandages slowly.

The corporal watches the sailor’s movements, gentle but precise, knowing without a doubt Laura did this to herself on more than one occassion. Her face is almost emotionless, except for the underlying sadness in her eyes. Carmilla can’t help but think some of it is her fault. She reacted out of instinct, but instinct often times causes us to act abruptly, without thinking. That’s exactly what happened, she didn’t think. It was reckless, stupid.

Though, one detail about last night is still troubling her immensely, even if she knows what it was, she’s looking to get confirmation. Maybe then the anger still bubbling in her chest will ease.

“Laura?”

“Yes?”

“How’d your father get in last night?”

“I gave him a key a while ago...he asked," she said simply, obviously knowing where this was going next.

“And you just gave it to him? Knowing what he’s like? What he could do to you?”

“Carm, I’m know it’s hard to understand, but-”

“It’s not just hard, it’s incredibly stupid!” The marine wasn’t angry at Laura, but rather angry at the lack of rationality that went into Laura’s actions. Just like her own last night, and in reality, she’s still just angry at herself.

Laura’s stands up, balling her fists before she pushes at Carmilla’s chest, almost knocking her over, and in the process knocks over the med kit in the bathtub. “Screw you, Karnstein!”

She stands up, toe to toe with the smaller woman. “How long are you going to let him control you like that, Laura?”

“This is none of your business, Carmilla.”

“He made it my business last night! When are you going to stop being such a child? You have your own mind, your own thoughts, your own desires, you don’t need him in your life anymore. He’s like a brick attached to your foot, and if you let him, you’re going to drown with him.”

“I just-I can’t-” her hands comes up to cover her mouth, an attempt to mute her sorrow- lock away the pain she’s afraid to let go of.

Carmilla takes a step closer, placing her hands on either side of the Laura’s face, and in surprise Laura allows her to stay there. In that moment she gets a flashback to a few months ago in Quatar, when LaFontaine needed surgery and Laura was uttering the same words, bringing herself down the same way - Carmilla finds herself speaking similar of encouragement she had spoken then, “Yes you can Laura. You absolutely can.”

Laura burrows herself in Carmilla’s shoulder, and wraps both of her arms around the woman’s torso tightly. She moves her head from side to side, showing her negation instead of voicing it.

Carmilla automatically tightens her hold on the shaking woman, pulling her tightly against her chest. “You’re not worthless, you’re not weak and you sure as hell aren’t anyone’s punching bag.”

Minutes pass and they remain in this position, taking comfort in each other’s bodily presence. After a long while, Laura finally speaks up with a raw voice, “I just wish he’d leave me alone, go somewhere...far from here.”

“It won’t change that he’s still in here,” she taps the woman’s head softly with her thumb as the rest of her fingers brush through brunette locks. Laura looks up at her and closes her eyes, biting her lip to prevent more tears from falling. “You don’t need to do this alone, Laura, I’m here with you - for you. Take strength in that.”

Laura takes a deep breath to calm herself. She wipes away at her tears and places her hand right back into it’s comfy spot on Carmilla’s back. “Thank you, and I’m sorry.”

The marine nods, “I’m sorry too.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. He got what he deserved. Carmilla, if you knew everything he did to me, he-”

“I know, it’s alright. You don’t need to say it,” _and torment yourself any longer with those memories._ She kisses the sailor’s forehead and feels rather than hears Laura’s stomach grumble. “We should feed the monster before it gets hungry for my head.”

“Don’t worry, it doesn’t look that tasty.”

They both leave the bathroom, Laura heading straight for the kitchen. “How about pancakes?” she says with her head almost fully inside the fridge. Eggs check. Now to find the milk.

“Sounds good to me. I’ll go get your shoes in my car before I forget.”

“Running from cooking are you?”

“Me? Never,” Carmilla smiles sweetly before leaving the apartment. When the marine comes back inside, pair of sneakers in her hands, she spots Laura sitting on the island, phone in her lap and her head down.

“Laura? Who was that?” Carmilla, places the shoes down by the door, and makes her way to the kitchen. Though she has her suspicions of what’s happening, if the state of her vehicle is any indication.

“My dad’s out,” the sailor’s voice is quiet, and strangely, emotionless.

“How?”

“I don’t know, Danny said Betty couldn’t do anything about it.”

“Explains why my tires are slashed. All four of them. Nice key marks too, though the designs could have been a little more...symmetrical.”

Sure, Carmilla was joking about it, but the only images running through her head right now is Todd’s head under a guillotine.

Laura groans, dropping her head into her hands. “Fuck, Carmilla, what are we going to do?”

The marine hops on top of the counter, beside Laura, and places a hand on her back. “I don’t know, cutie. All I can think of is requesting a transfer.”

Laura nods, it’s all she can think of right now as well. “We should get the gang together, see if they have any other ideas.”

“...Sounds like a plan.”

 


	9. Honeythief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where they meet the family - though Carmilla's getting tired of Laura constantly making excuses for her father's rash and unforgivable behavior.
> 
> Written by Steph (Wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (Leonard-Cohen-the-Second).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Homophobic slurs, mentions of physical abuse
> 
> Honeythief by Halou~

**June 27th**  
**0700hrs**  
**Beaufort Air Station,**  
**Beaufort County, South Carolina**

 

"Can you stay?" she whispers to Carmilla as the woman turns to leave.

The woman's eyes soften and she removes Laura's fingers from the cusp of her shirt gently. "I just need to go outside and check the damage, Cupcake. I'll be right back."

Laura nods, even though there's something in her eyes that makes Carmilla hesitate. Before she can think to ask, Laura says, "I'm just... this always happens. He always gets out. What's the point? I'm scared, Carm."

It just about broke Carmilla's heart and she encompassed the smaller woman in a tight, yet gentle hug. "I'm right here, okay. I'll be right back." She looks into honey eyes and says, "Call the Scooby Gang, okay? It's a pizza and beer kinda night."

"The lesbian rite of passage," Laura quips, her voice catches with unshed tears but her lips are smiling.

Carmilla nods, pats Laura's thigh, and walks to the door.

She promptly leaves the house, going back out to check her Mustang, while, she assumes, Laura is already on the phone. She doesn‘t want to be in the house anymore, if she was being honest with herself. Last night's memories were still prominent and swirling in her head. It's like an invisible blanket crushing down on both of them with unspoken words and unfinished resolutions.

In truth, Carmilla is still angry. Still angry that Laura thought giving that man a key was going to fix everything, still angry that her jaw hurt like hell from the sucker punch, and fucking livid over the fact her car had been keyed up and destroyed this very morning. She was surprised the windows weren't smashed and the inner seating torn to shreds, but she chalked it up to Todd not wanting to get caught defacing property so soon after his release.

She kicks the flattened tires, hard. Her toes glancing against the metal rim as she winces, but it is nothing compared to the anger churning inside of her. Giving herself a few moments to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth, and pushing aside the painful memory from years past, she stares up to the sky before pulling out her phone from her PJ bottoms and begins to tap an all too familiar number.

"Hello, this is Jacob's Garage. How can I help you?"

A quick and simple response is given, "Need a favor."

The other end goes silent for a moment until a rompous whoop comes out of the man's mouth. "Hey, sis! Been awhile since you've called the shop. What's wrong with that old rust bucket you've got? Told ya to get it looked at." There were more ecstatic calls and soon her cousin's voice filtered through the phone, "Heeyyy cous'! Told you to stop pushing that car-"

"It' a Mustang, stink breath," she says, cutting her family off. She knows the insult was barely a gripe, not even an adult one at that, but she can't bring herself to ever outright insult her family. "Someone fucked it up bad, and I need a repair."

There seems to be a large supply of silence today as Carmilla waits patiently while tapping her bare foot on the driveway concrete. It's her brother who replies, "Give us the address and we'll be there. On base?"

"On base," Carmilla confirms before slowly reciting the address so they can jot it down.

"Be there soon," Jacob says briskly before hanging up the phone.

Carmilla pushes the power button, looks once more at her car as she sighs, and walks back into the apartment. If she ever sees Todd again, he was in for one hell of a kick to the face, and God knows Carmilla has those high kicks on point.

She looks over quickly to LaFontaine and Perry's abode before opening the door, the home looking the same as Laura's and the other houses on base, and wonders if they heard something regarding the morning's events. She doubts disrupting their morning would be fruitful, and she simply sighs before bowing her head. She knows her brother will get her a family discount and it won't be much to fix the car up to its pristine condition. But that wasn't the point.

The point was that someone, that Laura apparently trusts with a key to her place, had fucked it up so badly because a person had finally stood up to him for a change. If he went to this extreme because of something so simple,what will happen the next time they meet? Will he just leave and forget about it, knowing he met his match, to let Laura live in peace? Or something worse? Something... no one wants to happen. Shaking her head, Carmilla turns and opens the door with a huff.

When she gets through the door she looks around with a quirked eyebrow as she notices the definite lack of a short, chestnut haired woman sitting at the counter where Carmilla left her. It was strange, she thought, she was half expecting to see Laura sitting there with a plate of homemade cookies Carmilla had made for her a few days prior. She knew Laura always ate sweets after stressful encounters, just as she had done months ago at chow time when Carmilla had stupidly asked about the sailor's past.

Her ear perks at the sound of running water from upstairs, and she quickly goes to the counter to set her phone down on the marble before traversing the stairs two at a time. She begins counting silently to herself, trying to calm her mind so she doesn't yell at Laura again. It's hard to make the woman see where she‘s coming from, but she knows it‘s even harder for Laura to actually tell her these things. Especially when it isn't like Carmilla is proffering up any other justification as to why she had exploded last night besides the whole, "Well he attacked me first and I was pissed off," speech. If she keeps pushing, then things will get bad and Laura will retreat back into herself just as she had done all those months ago when Carmilla had first joined the platoon.

She growls to herself as she finally makes it up the stairs, aware that Laura was in the ensuite in the master bedroom, and not the hallway bathroom. As Carmilla walks by the empty bathroom, the forgotten first aid kit catches her eye. She sighs before entering to pick it up, her thumb caressing the familiar box before moving to place it back in the cupboard and exiting the bathroom.

Her bare feet touch carpet and she's suddenly at home again. Safe, loving, wonderful home and the thoughts of last night begin to melt away. She's safe here, in Laura's house, and that's all she really wants. She hums happily, hearing the shower running from the bathroom before she realizes she's staring up at the ceiling and breathing out slowly. It's hard, she knows it, the blind rage inside of her tries to pull her down like an anchor, but she's trying to get herself under control again. She hadn't lost her cool like that since-

A plastic bottle drops suddenly from the bathroom and Carmilla's head jerks down to look at the open door. Laura picks it up in haste, setting it back onto the side of the tub where it belongs, with slight audible curses. Carmilla can't see the shower from where she stands at the opening of the room, but she can see a part of the tiled wall. The marine is about to call out with a well timed, stupid, joke before she hears something - something that's trying to keep itself muffled below the sound of cascading water on tile.

She hears hitching sobs.

Carmilla doesn't know why it takes her so long to react – well she does actually, but she will never admit it to herself. Her body jerks forward after a moment and she feels herself moving closer to the bathroom. Standing by the open door, as if there were an invisible forcefield barring her path, she looks into the room and straight at the shower. It's a tub shower with the kind of curtain they all had in their bathrooms, revealing only a hunched, pixelated body sitting on the tub’s edge. If Laura was looking up, her eyes would have found Carmilla's but the woman is looking down, a hand covering her mouth and stifling her cries.

Her clothes are strewn across the floor and Carmilla wonders if she tried to hide her sobs with the cascading water before getting in to cool off. But why in the world would she take her clothes off first if it was just because she needed to cry? Carmilla enters the room slowly before standing to the side of the tub to peer through the gap in the curtain.

"Laura?" Carmilla whispers, making herself heard over the water. She bites her lip, wishing she hadn't spoken at all when Laura's red face rises from her hands and looks at her with dull eyes. She looks so tiny, Carmilla thinks as she sees Laura's nude form for the first time since they met.

"I just needed a shower!" a choked laugh echoes in the bathroom while she roughly wipes the drops of salty water from her eyes. Her head becomes drenched as she turns abruptly to pool water in her hands and wash her face. "I didn't take a shower last night, you know. And I just really wanted to do that, because, I mean, it's good to take showers every night and..."

She trails off when silent sobs wrack her body and Carmilla's tentative hand reaches out to touch her back softly. Laura feels the marine's warmth as their bodies touch, Carmilla having not taken her clothes off before entering the shower, and suddenly the shorter woman's bare back feels like it‘s on fire.

But it doesn't burn, she thinks as she places her face into her hands and cries. It's just right.  
The water is falling around them, creating mystical halos around their hair as it patters against their heads, and they stay like that for another moment before Carmilla gently nudges Laura to turn around. The smaller girl allows this with only slight resistance, her muscles tensing before quickly turning to mush under Carmilla's soft, fleeting touches. All of a sudden she's crying and hitching sobs into the woman's upper chest and she can't stop, nor does she want to stop.

"Y-you-your shirt a-and-," she tries to say but her breathing is sporadic and she can barely speak. God, she hates when she cries so much her words can't come out.

"Shh," is all Carmilla can say, swaying them slowly side to side in the limited space they have. “I've got clothes in the hamper, remember?“

She can still smell Carmilla, even though her forehead is on her chest while her face is in her hands as she weeps, even though the water is falling around them and washing everything away into the drain. She still smells her and her heart begins to calm. It's the smell of copper, damp earth, and home, she thinks as her sobs soon turn to soft hiccups and she realizes she hears soft humming vibrating from the woman's chest.

Carmilla is humming to her, and it's so soothing and so warm, and God, Laura wants to stay enveloped within these protective arms forever. Her father can't reach her in here. Her mother's abandonment can't hurt her. Everything she's done that may, or may not have been right can't follow her. No one can scream, yell, or beat her while she's here.

She's finally safe.

"Carmilla?" Laura whispers, unaware if she can even be heard over the droplets.

She realizes she's naked at this point, as she stares up into Carmilla's striking whiskey colored orbs. Were they always so beautiful? So solemn? Can she even breathe? Oh right, breathing. Her hiccups have turned into slow, shallow breaths as she looks up to Carmilla, her own light brown staring into swirling darkness. What is behind those eyes? What secrets, emotions, fears do they hold? Carmilla's hair is damp and she realizes she's holding the woman's head with a clawed hand, raking her fingers through it as it spills down her form in messy strands. God, she just wanted the marine to keep her safe. That's all she wanted; that's all she needed. Please, just give her that.

Laura‘s bare chest brushes up Carmilla's as she slowly creeps onto her toes, her hand clamping harder for slight leverage but also to pull the woman into her, and suddenly their lips are so close. So close, yet so far apart.

"Laura," the voice is pained, as if the marine is fighting internally with herself. As if all she wants to do is caress the shorter woman's cheek with a thumb and bring her in hard for a kiss. Just a kiss. A hand caresses Laura's hip, bringing both a step closer as a tugging ache begins in the pit of her stomach. "Do you want this?"

The question is suspended in the air, their breathing in synch, their hearts smashing painfully against their chests. Did she want this? Laura didn't know. All she knew was that she was naked and Carmilla was right here. Right here like she always was. Her lips looked so soft, so enticing, and all Laura wants is her own clamped onto them, sucking and nibbling. She needs Carmilla, but that wasn't the question was it?

Does she want this? Should she shake her head, relent and tell the woman that it was just a weak moment from her meltdown in the shower? Or should she nod, slowly and agonizingly, and allow her senses to be taken over by darkness and poetry and heart wrenching madness. The hero that stole the little girl's heart, just like in all the fairy tales.

She can't stand it. She can't stand touching Carmilla with only fleeting touches and playful slaps. She can't stand that Carmilla only ever plays with her hair when she thinks Laura is sleeping. She can't stand the taller woman playing with her fingers absentmindedly as she drives. Can't fucking stand it.

Laura needs her chest, heaving with bliss, hovering over Carmilla as they sharply kiss, everything that the two women are drowning in with the other. She needs Carmilla's arms encircling her, keeping all of the pain and sadness out, and only keeping in their love.

Love? Was this really love? Wasn't this just symbiotic relationship for the purpose of keeping both of them sane? But she wasn't sane, Laura thought, as she looked back and forth from eyes to lips. This is pure and simple insanity. It's lust, and something else, but nothing close to love. Right?

Laura didn't know, and right now she didn't think she wanted to know. She was broken, crying in the stupid shower, and all she wanted to do was get her mind off of last night. But was that it? No, she thought as her breathing became heavier and she straightened her posture; Carmilla's hand searing her lower back. All she needs is to be a little bit closer.

"Laura," the whisper comes again, this time guttural and low, and God, Laura is craving her mouth right now.

"It's okay," the shorter woman breathes, her voice raspy with tears and something else.

She moves Carmilla backward, thankfully not slipping in the tub as they did, and her left hand holds them steady against the back wall. Carmilla's other hand makes residence on Laura's back, pushing the girl into her, the torment clear on her face as it's awashed with longing, and her dark hair mixes with Laura's brown as they lean into each other. How much closer can Laura get? Not close enough, Carmilla thinks as her nostrils fill with Laura's scent. It'll never be close enough. Her ass is against the cold tiles, Laura's hand gripping the space between the ceramic and Carmilla's flesh, raking her fingers and nails across ass and hips. It's maddening, and just fucking right.

Carmilla cups Laura's cheeks, tilting their heads as they lean in. Their lips brush, only a brush, before a loud, piercing noise echoes throughout the house and shocks them both. Laura's body bolts to attention, her head slightly turning as if she would be able to see who the intruder was from the shower, and holds her breath. Carmilla, on the other hand, is still staring at Laura, her dark orbs to half saucers as she continues to trace every dip and curve of the woman's body.

Laura bites her bottom lip, her left hand leaving the wall to press against her cheek and rub it harshly. What the hell had she just been about to do? Shaking her head, the doorbell resounding again, she almost loses her footing as she scrambles out of the shower. She's suddenly sorry she did when the heat from Carmilla's hands dissipates almost immediately as she dries off quickly and puts her clothes on.

She glances back at Carmilla, their eyes locked with unshed emotion, before she turns and walks out of the bathroom.

* * *

 

 

Laura almost rips the door off its hinges when she opens it. The attempt to quell her emotions between the bathroom and the foyer didn't work very well, though at least she wasn't balling her eyes out anymore. That was a plus, right? Opening the door, she was met by two younger looking men, their hair tousled and their faces kind. Her hazel eyes peered at them, the question of who they were and why they were there hanging in the air. She finally looks behind them and sees Carmilla's destroyed Mustang. There are multiple profanities scratched on it, and dents that look like golf balls were punted into the sides. She feels the tears welling in her eyes again, God how could her father do such a thing, but she was deterred from her thoughts when the older looking man spoke.

"Hey, is Rambina here?" His smile was disarming but his question completely threw Laura for a loop.

"Um-"

"You know," the younger man said, patting the first's back, "Longstockings!"

"Jacob, if you call me Longstockings one more time," Carmilla's growl came from the stairs, her dripping hair leaving imprints along her shirt, which she must have gotten from the hamper, as she walks to the door and leans against the cleft in the wall. She glares at the two and says, "Laura, this is my cousin Michael," her hand points at the older one before swinging to the younger, "and my brother Jacob. I called them to get the car."

"Oh," Laura whispered, the collar of her shirt becoming damp and cold, and she looked to both of them after tugging on it to move it from her neck. "It's really nice to meet you. I'm sorry it had to be under these circumstances."

"Nah," Michael said, swinging his hand in their direction. "It's totally cool! Carmy-Warmy never comes by the shop anymore," he says, feigning to pout before giving Carmilla and Laura a wink as he goes to inspect the car.

"I swear I'm going to kick his ass," Carmilla sneers, her teeth gritted sharply as she tightens the grip her crossed arms held.

"He's just happy to see you, sis! And you didn't answer your phone, you know. Rude." Jacob's brown eyes are flicking from Carmilla to Laura, taking in their wet appearances, and he chuckles darkly, guessing exactly why his sister hadn't picked up the call.

"Don't you even-"

"Hey, I'm not saying anything!" Jacob raises his hands in submission and smiles widely. "So I'm just gonna... go help Mike with the car. You two... carry on.“ He gestures between the women.

"Sorry to have disturbed your, uh, fun times." He laughs again, before bending down to grab his toolbox and walking briskly over to the car.

 Carmilla grumbles under her breath, raking her fingers through her damp hair, before looking to a still speechless Laura. "Don't worry, Cupcake. They're handicapped in many ways, but they don't mean any harm." She glares back at them as she moves to the opposite side of the door, standing on the stoop slightly so she can peer out and see what they are up to. "Well, I've been wrong before."

"They're nice," she finally whispers after looking at Carmilla, her eyes dull. "I mean," she says with more life in her voice, her finger pointing to herself for emphasis, "They really do seem nice. Only child of a very overprotective dad, so siblings are pretty... special."

She shrugs and tries to smile, her fingers digging into her pants as she rubs her legs harshly. Carmilla's hand bolts out, stopping her frantic movements across her thighs, and she entwines their index fingers together. She moves closer and Laura's heart skips a beat. Is she really going to continue where they left off? She forces her eyes to stay open, no way was she going to make herself into a fool for thinking one thing when it was really another, and she was glad she does when Carmilla stops inches away from her ear.

"They'll try to invite you to a family gathering. You don't have to accept, alright?"

Laura can only nod, trying not to let her mind spin too much at Carmilla's sweet scent, and she tries to hide her disappointment when the taller woman pulls away. She drops their hands as her brother runs back up to them.

"So, got some good news and bad news." He holds up his hand, his head slightly down, effectively cutting off Carmilla's attempt at a question. "Bad news is it's going to take a few days to get it back to you though the body job will take a bit longer. The good news is we're having a barbeque at mom's this weekend and you should definitely come!" He directed the question, comment, whatever it was to Laura and she blushed deeply.

"Um," she whispered, dumbstruck. He was... actually inviting her? She thought Carmilla's words were just possibilities, but now this man was asking the exact question. Someone he had just met, and the person that got Carmilla's car trashed in the first place. How in the world could he be so forgiving and happy to ask her to such an event? He literally just met her. "I-um-"

"She doesn't really do stuff like that, bro," Carmilla offered, shrugging and bumping her forearm against her brother's as she stepped down next to him.

"But mom would love to meet you," he reiterated, his voice raising ecstatically. "And dad would totally love you."

"You don't even know her, numbnuts!"

He waved his hand, disregarding Carmilla's comment and continued, "Tell you what, I promise to tell you completely mortifying tales of this one here if you decide to come." Jacob dodged an attack at his head and laughed as he stepped down from the stoop and into the grass. "So what do you say," he yelled playfully to Laura, not risking to come any closer for fear of a beating from his sister.

Laura shrugged, a wide smile passing over her features. "Sure, why not! I don't think I could ever pass up hilarious stories about Carm." She laughed as she received the playful slap that was meant for Jacob and pushed Carmilla away from her, back onto the stoop, watching the man fist bump the air and cheer as he told his cousin.

Was this really going to happen? Was she going to a real family event that wasn't with Danny and her parents? What would it be like? How many questions would they ask her about her job or past? Well, she thought as she waved to the boys when they got into their car with the Mustang, taking Carmilla's keys earlier, attached to the back, there's no time like the present to find out.

* * *

 

 "What if they don't like me," Laura whispers as they get to the stoop of a very large, very beautiful home. Her hazel orbs flick to LaFontaine's honks as they drive off, and she hides her eyes behind her hair in feigned exasperation.

_Laura had been frantic after the door closed when the men left, her heart jumping into her throat as she thought fully about what she had just agreed to. A family, that wasn't Danny's, bombarding her with questions. Would they ask about her and Carmilla, or worse: about her own parents. She practically began to hyperventilate in her distress and she didn't stop until Carmilla rubbed her back and gave her a plate of cookies. They were still delicious after a few days, and Laura munched on them with such a serious face, Carmilla actually had laughed at her._

_"It's not funny, Carm!" Laura had yelled, her hand running through her hair to make it pool over her shoulders._

_"It's kinda funny," Carmilla responded out of the corner of her mouth, her face scrunching slightly as she spoke through a mouthful of cookie._

_"You're just being suave and disaffected. I know your heart is pounding just as hard as mine!"_   
_Well, Laura had her there. She didn't know what she had gotten the shorter woman into, but she shrugged and looked out of the window above the sink. Her family was kind, wonderful, but that's what a daughter who was saved from an orphanage would think about those who took her from that hellhole. She knew exactly how they'd react to Laura, but how would Laura react to them? She had known the sailor for months, practically a lifetime in the military, and she had thought of offering the woman invitation after invitation to her parent's abode. But why would she when she had never invited any of her exes back into her sanctuary after years of dating. If she couldn't even do that, why would she have asked, even wanted, Laura to be that person that got that privilege? Especially after only a few months of... whatever they had._

Carmilla's mind dredged from the past and slowly she found herself in the present. And the present had them standing immediately at Carmilla's parent's door with a frightened looking Laura next to her. She nodded softly, tapping the woman's arm with her fist, and said, "Hey, Cupcake. How can they not like you? Just be yourself."

She simulated a large breath in, telling Laura with her body to do the same. After Laura did so, Carmilla pulls out her keys that were firmly gripped in her hand and unlocks the door to her family's home.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" she calls out instantly, jiggling the key in the lock as she moves a set of football gear from the opening of the door to the side. She rolls her eyes at Laura, kids right, before finally getting the key unstuck from the awkward angle she was trying to pull it from, and ushered the sailor in. "Mom!" Carmilla yells again, nodding to Laura to follow her through the house.

It was just so... big, Laura thought in awe as she maneuvers around the many toys, gear, and shoes littering the front walkway. The stairs were immediately to the right after a small coat closet, and it wound upward to the second floor. The railing looked like very old polished dark wood, and the stairs were carpeted plainly. It was obvious it was polished stone or marble at first, but as the number of small children grew - or so she guesses - the more practical it was to have softer surfaces. She watches as Carmilla promptly throws her keys into a bowl on a side table opposite the stairs with a large, ornate mirror hanging above it.

"It's to stop spirits from entering the house," Carmilla whispers as she kicks off her shoes. Her fingers grip the marble side table - jeez was everything marble in here? - before grunting out, "Spirits are afraid of their own shadows, so if one follows you home, they'll turn tail and run when you walk by it."

Laura follows suit, taking her own sandals off and placing them neatly by Carmilla's untidy mess, and nods. She had never met people except for LaFontaine who were into the spiritual side of things, and she already felt a little closer to them. This was one more thing she knew about Carmilla's family, while they still knew nothing of her. It makes her feel light, like she can really get through the day without a random panic attack. She smiles at Carmilla before tightening her grip on the bottle of wine that they had gotten on their way there.

You can do this, Hollis. Just gotta... girl the hell up. Yeah, just do that. Okay, deep breaths. See, it's working out already.

Her inner monologue stops when a sudden cacophony of loud foot stomps resounded from upstairs. Before Laura knew it two little boys and one girl bounded down the stairs, screaming Carmilla's name. Immediately Carmilla drops down and swoops them all into a tight hug, seeming to be unaffected by their screams and giggles in her ear as they cried for her happily.

They were all of different ethnicities and Laura briefly remembers Carmilla's confession she had told her whilst on dog duties.

The children suddenly stop, their different colored orbs turning to Laura while asking Carmilla, "Who's that lady?"

They never take their eyes off her, and Carmilla simply looks back quickly before placing her hand to the side of her lip and fake whispers, "She's a secret agent. She's here from the military to test me on how awesome I am, so you guys can't go telling embarrassing stories or I'll get shafted!"

The children's eyes widen in awe but Laura steps a bit closer and says in her most regal voice, "Actually, my analysis of her will be on all of the embarrassing stories you can think of. So if you have any, I need to hear it. It's super important for my mission!"

Blue, green, and brown orbs look up at her, their mouths open in silent wonderment and, as if a dam broke, they all scurry over to Laura's side and start expostulating story after hilarious story to the sailor. Carmilla places her hands on her hips before crossing them over her chest and she nods her head exasperatedly. Guess that's blown, she thinks as she realizes all of her most humiliating stories were going to be gushed out for her to see.

Before they can tell Laura too many stories, most of which being of the marine playing a monster or singing in the shower, Carmilla ushers the lot of them through the house to the grandiose kitchen. It can easily sit fifteen people comfortably, and have room to spare, and Laura's hazel orbs scan the room quickly not wanting to appear as if she was being rude. But God damn, it was so big! The stove didn't have just four cooking surfaces on it, but eight, and the marble countertops wrapped around the corner of the room, stopping just on the opposite wall where the screened door was. The long table sat at least ten people, and the place mats looked so gorgeous, Laura rather hopes they won't be eating inside so she doesn't have to dirty the area.

Her bare feet feel nice against the cool marble tiles, and she can feel her fingers gripping her inner palm with slight anxiety at being in such a luxurious home. She really wasn't used to it, and she didn't think she ever would be. Most of the time houses were just houses to her, but this one has so much personality, so much life to it that she can't just put it out of her mind. Carmilla lives in this place after all. For all Laura knew, a little Carm had scraped her knee on that very corner or bumped her head on the table as she tried to run below it to chase the family cat. It was all too much.

She turns to smile to Carmilla as the children swiftly take her hands, she has to bend down so they can really maneuver her, and she allows them to pull her along every inch of the kitchen. It smells delicious as there are multiple things cooking at once that cannot be cooked on a grill, and they drag her instantly to the sliding door. Opening the screen, the children catapulted her outside, screaming to the family that is gathered to meet the new person that Carmilla brought!

Laura, her body still doubled over, tries to shake her hair free from her face to smile, but it's not working very well at all. She must look like a very disheveled woman, and her mind goes blank as she inwardly groans to herself. First impression: totally failed.

So when Jacob, oh thank God a familiar face, jogs up to her smiling and laughing to shoo the kids away so she can stand, Laura smiles right back and gives him an awkward wave.

"Don't worry about them," he says, his smile widening and Laura briefly wonders if the entire Karnstein family has that smile. Her mind takes her to the many times Carmilla has given the same type of cheesy, wonderful, beautiful grin and she can't help but have to force herself to listen to Jacob's next words. "Did they tell you about the time Carmilla was trying to sing 'Never gonna Give you Up' in the shower and didn't realize the door was open?"

Before he can finish, Carmilla is right behind him and punches him softly in the head. Her eyes were closed, and Laura wonders how she aimed the shot perfectly, before Carmilla cracks her knuckles and says menacingly, "If one more person tells that story..."

The rest of the family that was gathered laughed raucously, and Laura smiled nervously. A protective hand falls into place on her back, ushering her forward, and she looks up to Carm even though the latter is simply staring forward. If Laura muses over it, she thinks Carmilla is actually nervous.

Moving across the lawn was somewhat of a chore as it was rather big, decorated with flower beds and ornaments, and the children that were named Sarah, Daniel, and Dimitri were crowding around the pair in an attempt to finish telling their stories. They stopped when they finally got to the grill and the small circular table where a woman was sitting.

"Dad," Carmilla says, indicating the man flipping burgers. "Mom," she then looks to the fair woman sitting at the table, who looks rather out of place with her sharp bun and professional clothes, before pointing to Laura. "This is Laura Hollis. She's my platoon's medical officer."

The man slowly turned around, taking off an apron that read "The World's Greatest Dad" and placed his spatula down next to the grill, with a huge smile on his features before he even saw the sailor. He was slender for a man, even though his muscles were very defined underneath his t-shirt, and he had slight stubble on his cheeks. He was quite handsome, if Laura was being honest, and she was slightly taken off guard when he stepped closer to the two women and clamped a hand down on Carmilla and Laura's shoulders.

"I'm so glad you brought someone home!" he expostulates happily, his voice low and grumbly and just nice to hear. The dark man hugs them both, his body moving in between them so it was really a side hug, and when he let them go, he looked at both of them and winks. "I hope you girls like burgers doused with barbecue sauce because there will not be any other requests taken!" He winks again and placed his hand next to his lip, completely mirroring Carmilla from earlier. "Though if you really want something else, sweetie, I'm also making lamb chops and ribs."

He turns around, checking on the meats, and in his absence Carmilla's mother gets up from the table and comes over to the girls. She gives them both a hug, her brown orbs fluttering from one to the other, and she almost swoons when she looks to her daughter. "You finally brought one home!"

"Yes, maman," Carmilla groans, her hand flying up to cover her eyes.

"Oh, don't you start," her mother giggles, slapping her daughter's arm playfully before turning towards Laura, who was flabbergasted at the woman's personality and how it completely contradicts her appearance. "She's never brought anyone home before. Oh, just let me look at you, dear!"

The woman presses her cool fingers under Laura's chin, turning her head from side to side as she looks her over. Letting her go softly, the woman purses her lips and places a finger to her chin before looking the sailor up and down. Laura had decided to wear a very modest outfit complete with blue jeans, a plain t-shirt that hung off one shoulder slightly, and a simple bracelet accessory. Carmilla, on the other hand, wore a black tank top - Laura had to fight very hard to get the marine to dismiss the idea of a more revealing top - and tight leather pants. She wore her hair down while Laura wore hers in a tight, messy bun. Stray wisps were caught in the wind as the mother looked her over, and she wishes she could grab Carmilla's hand for reassurance.  
What if the woman didn't like her? It wasn't like she was the best person for her daughter, and Laura knew - guessed really - that a mother's love was the end all to everything. Mother is God in the eyes of a child, and that was true even after the child grew up. If she didn't like the sailor, Carmilla would have no choice but to relent and-

"You are just a treat!" the woman proclaimed, her hands flying into the air with mirth, cutting Laura's thoughts off before she could bring herself to blurt anything and ruin the get together.

"W-what?" Laura stammered, her first words to anyone but Carmilla and the kids after entering the household.

The woman laughs, loud and hardy, and she squeezes Laura's arm. "I'm Lilita, dear. This is my  
husband, Aaron." When the man's name is spoken, he raises his spatula and waves it about. Shaking her head, Lilita looks to the girls and says, "I hope you've both eaten before you got here! In my experience, this is going to take some time."

"Hey," Aaron remarks, turning slightly and admonishing playfully, "perfection takes time!"

"I'm sure it does, Honey." Lilita scrunches her nose and shakes her head slightly towards the girls. "Drinks and snacks are on the long table. Carmilla, take your friend and meet the family! It was very nice meeting you, dear." She pats, and squeezes Laura's arm again, before finishing,

"I'll be sure to tell you all sorts of things about Mircalla when she was a baby!"

"Mircalla?" Laura whispers as they walk from Mrs. Lilita and to the snack table that had already been raided by the little munchkins. She places her wine in an empty location and looks the table over.

"Given name," Carmilla says shortly, pouring herself some soda before indicating if Laura wanted any.

"Please," Laura replies, offering her glass cup. Seriously, she thinks yet again, they have glass outside. Who allows their glass cups outside where it could easily get shattered? She gulps some of it down, forgetting her exasperated thoughts, before asking, "Why don't you use it? I like that one a lot better."

Carmilla snorts and rolls her eyes, the exact image of her mother. Damn, does she get everything from them, Laura thinks, but pays close attention as the woman begins to speak after shrugging her shoulders, "What, Cupcake? You don't like how my name rolls of your tongue?"

Laura's cheeks begin to warm and she hits Carmilla's arm softly. "We're among your family," she hisses. "Can we put off the flirting until we're not in direct eyesight? I mean," she whispers, "they're watching us!"

The marine's gaze leaves Laura, a bemused smirk spreading across her lips as she looks behind them, and she turns and lowers her head closer to Laura's. "Yep, they're totally watching."

The howl of laughter that escapes Carmilla's lips is almost uncanny when Laura stands at attention, straightening her back to the point it almost snaps and her drink sloshes dangerously in her cup. She seems so much more free when she's around them, Laura thinks as she knocks Carmilla on the head with her free hand, and smiles. She wishes every day could be like this.

"Food's done!" Jacob yells from across the lawn, his tawny features stretching happily. He's carrying a few dishes from the kitchen and Laura wonders if those are the vegetables.

"Time for all the embarrassing stories," Carmilla groans as she picks up a chip and places it in her mouth. She munches on it while they walk over to the second long table, where the children and others have already chosen seats. She rolls her eyes as she realizes only two seats are left and they just happen to be right next to each other. "You guys are not smooth," she retorts as she places her plate of fries down onto the table while Laura sits next to her with a nervous smile.

"What ever are you talking about, Longstockings?" Jacob snickers, completely aware he's far enough away from his sister's vengeful wrath to be able to say anything he wants.

"Pass the salad!" Michael called out from the end of the table.

The children also began their chorus for food, and Mr. Karnstein quickly passes around the many side dishes. The parents are sitting at either end of the table while the rest were stationed in random seats. Jacob was sitting in between the two children, his spot next to Lilita, while Michael sat by Aaron. Sarah sat beside Laura, and Carmilla sat beside her dad on the other side of the sailor, which left an extra seat open on their side for the woman who the sailor had not met has taken. She remembers Carmilla saying something about her elder sister Mattie and she smiles at the beautiful girl, hoping she has placed the appropriate name to the face.

Laura has to help the little girl reach the side dishes over to Mrs. Lilita and she received a smile in return for her kindness. The warmth that bubbled up in Laura's chest every time that woman smiled at her was a wonderful feeling, and she was more than happy to keep doing small things for the woman to receive it.

"So," Laura says after they were all settled in and eating happily, "what's the story behind 'Longstockings'?"

Carmilla instantly groans and Michael and Jacob begin sharing knowing grins with each other. Mr. and Mrs. Karnstein snicker behind their hands and the children simply focused on their meals while Mattie snickered and continued to watch silently.

"Our little Carmilla wasnt always so suave and mysterious," Michael began.

"She used to be this dorky little thing that- ow!" he protested, his head getting smacked by his mother before receiving a glare. Jacob gulped, knowing as well as anyone that when his mother meant business, she meant business. "She was pretty much a nerd," he reprimanded, his eyes flicking to his mother to see if that was a better choice of words. When he didn't get slapped again he continued, "And, especially around the house, she wore these long pair of long stockings because she watched the movie - you know the one - Pippi Longstockings and fell in love." He gave himself a second to eat a mouthful of mashed potatoes before continuing, "She even tried to dye her hair red! She went for three straight months calling herself Pippi and demanded everyone else do the same." He, Michael, and Mattie were almost in tears when he said, "Awe man, you should have seen it. This little girl running around yelling about horses and monkeys and circuses. Will and I laughed so hard that-"

The mood suddenly shifts when the boy cuts off. Laura, and everyone but the oblivious children, can sense it. Jacob's face goes from grinning like a fool to slowly dropping into a solemn expression while Michael's and Mattie's does the same. The parents begin fidgeting softly, their legs swinging back and forth to try to get comfortable while their eyes shift to everyone at the table. Laura's peripheral catches Carmilla's jaw tighten, her hand clenching a little more tightly onto her fork, and her bangs hide her eyes as she looks down at her meal.

Just like that, Laura feels herself losing everything from that day. She's the outsider looking in, unaware of what just transpired amongst the family. She cannot ask Carmilla, not now and maybe not ever, nor can she respond with anything witty or comforting. She doesn't know what's going on so why would she try to intervene with the emotional crisis that has just rippled throughout the family?

Her own self worthlessness subsides when Dimitri, who is swinging his legs underneath the table, asks loudly, "Momma, can I have some more barbeque?"

Lilita's face turns from a mask of cold certainty to that of happiness in two seconds flat. "Of course you can!" she says happily, grabbing the utensil from the plate and skewering the ribs with it.

Carmilla clears her throat and asks, "Dad, how's the management going?"

The man coughs politely, putting down his fork and knitting his fingers together. He nods his head before saying, "Apple's being an ass - kids do not repeat that! - but all in all it's working pretty well. I've got a few days off so if you'd like to come with me to visit your mom, you are more than welcome. I bet she'd really like it, kiddo."

Lilita spoke across the table, "I would, actually. Would have definitely liked it better if it was kept a secret first!"

Carmilla smiles, going back to her food before leaning to Laura and whispering, "Dad's a marketing manager and mom's a physician. He works from home," she added before returning to her food.

Laura nods, aware that the atmosphere from before was almost tangible, it was still awash with the good vibes from the more recent conversation. She smiled towards the children then to the adults before asking, "So... anyone have any more stories?"

* * *

 

"I'll see you tomorrow, sis!" Jacob calls from the driver's seat as he pulls out of Laura's drive through and waves as he goes. The sun is still in the sky, but it begins casting its beautiful oranges, pinks, and yellows across the receding blue hue and the whole sky looks alive.

Carmilla waves back, nodding at his response, and turns to the sailor before she groans and places her chin on her shoulder. "Let's not do that again, Creampuff," she says, allowing Laura to pat her back softly.

Laura laughs gingerly and says, "I actually enjoyed that."

The woman lifts her head and stares into hazel orbs. "Of course you would, you get to learn all of my embarrassing secrets!"

"And I will learn even more of them when we go next time." Laura winks and moves toward the door, being stopped by Carmilla's hand on her wrist.

"You want there to be a next time?"

The question was so... honest it shocked the sailor for a moment. Laura genuinely nods, her free hand hovering over Carmilla's and she whispers, "Of course I do. I loved every second of it I felt..." Like I was home. And not like the real home I had to live in, but what home is supposed to be like. Happy. Loved. Everything.

Carmilla moves closer, their positions harkening back to the shower, and Laura catches her breath when Carmilla whispers, "We should get inside..."

Laura dumbly nods, fumbling in her pocket for her keys, but right when she slid the instrument into the locks, the door flies open on its own. She blinks stupidly, her head raising up to whomever was inside of her home, was it Perry to clean something again? Her face turns ashen and her eyes stare in front of her unseeing.

Not again.

Todd's massive form fills the doorway, the immediate smell of alcohol wafting through and dispersing into the open air, and the man walks out of the apartment with ease. He didn't seem to be too drunk as his movements seem purposeful, but that was also really, really bad.

"Didn't I tell you to stay the fuck away from this bitch?" Todd growls, his eyes pinned on Carmilla.

Laura steps in front of her father, shielding Carmilla as best she could and says, "Look at me, okay? Just look at me. We're not doing anything. Her brother invited me to a family dinner, you know like Danny used to do and -"

His face contorts with rage, his hands balling to fists, and he yells, "The bitch you've been fuckin' since you were fifteen!"

"No," Laura pleads. She feels Carmilla's anger scorching her back, seeping into her being, but she keeps at her father. "No, Danny and I weren't doing anything like that. I've been a good girl! I got A's on all my tests and I used all the things you packed for me, remember?" The bear spray, the old-as-hell cellphone, everything that was given to her by her father was still being used. It was stupid, ridiculous, but she was still trying.

"Yeah, I remember," he says, finally looking down to his daughter before sniffing and giving a soft hiccup. "I don't like her," he finishes, indicating Carmilla by the point of a meaty finger.

"I know, I'm going to send her away right now, okay?" Laura turns her eye off her father only after he seems to calm fully, and looks to rage filled whiskey optics. "Carm, you need to go, alright? He's fine right now," she whispers frantically, rounding her head to make sure her father is still placated before turning back again. "I've got him. I'll see you later." She tries to give a reassuring smile but she knows it fails.

Carmilla is just standing there, her orbs flicking from one Hollis to another. Her mind is blank, filling with rage, but she tries to force it down before she does anything else. She wants to harm the man. Harm in such a way that only she could to anyone else, but she has to refrain. Her record, and her standing with Laura is on the line. If she doesn't turn tail and leave now, there would be a new bruise on Laura's face next time they met, if not something even worse. But she didn't want to. Her car, Laura's entire persona, everything was because of the man before her, and she was just supposed to what? Leave?

Before she can decide, she hears the familiar voice of her copilot walking across the street, and she turns to them as they step onto the grass.

"Hey, I thought I saw you guys and-" they stop, cutting off as they see Todd standing there with what looks like drool coming from the side of his mouth. "Mr. Hollis," LaFontaine says, their head bowing slightly out of... respect.

The man didn't even seem to notice the pleasantries as he asks, "Another one of your friends, Laura? She a freak like you too?"

LaFontaine looks like they are physically slapped and their face falls into that of extreme discomfort and pain. The ginger slowly looks to Carmilla before back to Laura and says, "I was just... Perry wanted to know if, um..." They look to Todd again, a mix of expressions on their features, and they say, "Danny's bringing over officer Spielsdorf tonight. They should be here any moment!"

Laura's eyes widen, the name of the same officer that took her father in last night being made apparent, and she turned to her father to see a mask of rage. His face was squished tightly together, his brow knit and she could see worry behind those dead eyes, before he moved from around Laura after bumping her shoulder harshly.

Getting up into Carmilla's face, he thrusts a finger into her chest and says, "If I ever catch you with my daughter again, I'll fucking kill you, fag."

Carmilla stood there, her dark optics on the man as he threatened her life with barely a twitch, before watching him step away from her and walks slowly away in the opposite direction. She watches him walk down the road with a pep in his step, aware that if he didn't hurry, he would get reprimanded by Betty if he was caught anywhere near Laura's abode. She turns her attention back to Laura who is running up to her with tears brimming the corners of her eyes.

"I'm- I'm so sorry, Carm. I didn't think he'd be here and- LaF, thank you! So much, I just-"

"Shh," Carmilla cooed again, her arms encompassing the smaller girl, as she places her fingers through Laura's hair. She nods to LaFontaine before the latter returns the action and walks back to their home. She can see Perry in the window, the phone to her ear and a worried expression on her face, before she rushes to the door when her partner walks in. Carmilla turns her attention back to Laura and continues to massage her fingers through the woman's scalp. "You didn't do anything," she reassures. "It's no big deal. If I told you how many death threats I got from the douches at the bars, you'd be astonished."

Laura was softly weeping into Carmilla's chest, unable to speak coherently, but she still tries, "I-it's not-same-I...I'm-sorry!"

Carmilla shakes her head, which was now situated on top of Laura's, "It's fine. We're fine. I can handle him-"

"No, Carm!" Laura almost shouts as she pushes Carmilla away from her, her breath coming in sporadic grunts. "You can't 'handle' him! H-he c-an't be handled, okay! You shouldn't 'ave antagonized him!"

She's not going to lie, the marine's anger boils into her chest as the words spew out of Laura's mouth and she fights them back by biting her lip. The next words are so agonizing, so distraught, that Carmilla can all but whisper, "You're not worthless..."

It catches Laura off guard enough for the woman to stop for a second, her small hics the only thing heard in the silence of the neighborhood. She knows Perry and LaFontaine are watching from the window, knowing if they are needed to step in they will, but they do not actively watch the fight unfold and instead play with Jamie.

She's not worthless? What did that even mean? Of course she was worthless. That's all she knew, that's all she had grown with. Danny told her she wasn't, Perry and LaFontaine told her that too, hell even random flings she had in the military decided to let her in on that information. So what the hell did it hurt so much more when the woman opposite her said it?

She can't do this, she thinks as she begins to breathe heavily, her muscles aching for a workout. She really can't fucking deal with this right now. Two days in a row and not a single bruise on her. Nothing to prove to her that her father's rage was pinpointed towards her and her alone. She could handle that, Laura knew she could handle that. But it wasn't just on her anymore. This woman, this stupid, beautiful, ridiculous woman who swooped into her life months ago has now taken that burden off of her. All that pain, all that sadness, all of it lessened in less than two days. And what did Laura feel about it?

That's easy. She felt fucking infuriated.

"Who do you think you are?" Laura breathed, her tears still fresh on her face and her voice ceasing its sharp intakes of air. "I've had him under control for years and you come in all Billy Badass and ruin everything in a matter of days! And you want me to, what, be thankful to you? I had it under control!"

"You call that control?" Carmilla retorts, her anger subsiding and her fear, pain, and love breaking forth in its place. "You can't control something like him. He's an act of nature, cruel and unforgiving. He's never going to be under control until you do something about it."

"I was!"

"No you weren't!" Carmilla explodes, making sure to keep their voices lowered so that the whole neighborhood couldn't hear them, but also loud enough to get her point across. "You were hiding! You ran away and hid from him. That's why you joined the military, that's why you've chosen your assignments with the Marine platoons. You've been running for so long you don't even know how to stop."

"And what about you," Laura replies, her hands flying up as she pushes Carmilla back. "What have you been running from because last I checked it's not like you had such a clear fucking conscience."

"Don't go there," Carmilla growled, and it almost actually deters Laura.

For a moment.  
Laura adds on, unrelenting in her assault, "Who's Will, huh? You're the one that's been running, not me. And if I had, it's because you've goaded me into it and I let you for these past few months."

Carmilla's eyes shrink to slits and her mouth is pressed in a tight line. She doesn't care what Laura says after her question, all she can hear is the answer playing over and over in her head.

I don't know- I don't know- I don't know.

"Fuck you," she breathes, turning sharply beginning to walk away.

Not like this. Don't let it end like this.

"No," Laura whispers, hitching in a breath as her eyes widen, bolting after Carmilla and catching her by the hand. The woman snatches it away, turning on the sailor, and suddenly Laura seems three feet shorter than the woman than just a few inches. "I-" she licks her lips, "I didn't mean that. I didn't-"

"We say what we mean, and we mean what we say," Carmilla snarls, her long hair whipping around her as the wind picks up.

"I was angry," Laura pleads, her whispers barely audible. "I didn't think-"

"No, you didn't."

"I'm-I'm sorry, Carm. Please," she says, placing a hand on Carmilla's cheeks. Her desperation pooled into her words, "Please, I'm sorry."

Carmilla stands there for a moment, just blinking at the sailor, before she yanks her head from Laura's hands and says, "I need to shower anyways." Without another word, the woman traverses the lawn and enters the still ajar door, not looking back to see if the other woman is following her.

Laura's face is lax for a moment before she feels the burning tears at the back of her eyes. She brings her hand up and claws at her chest slightly, thrumming against it softly as her mouth purses and she flutters her eyes to keep the tears at bay. That was so close, she thinks as she looks back to her apartment door which slams shut.

That was just too close.

She turns around, still holding onto her chest, before opening the door lightly. She walks in and closes the door softly, realizing for the first time since their return, that she was entering a place she could no longer call her sanctuary. And now, she never could again.


	10. Old Ghosts, New Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rock Band, massages, and... medical files?
> 
>  
> 
> Written by Steph (Wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (Leonard-Cohen-the-Second).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old Ghosts, New Regrets by Parkway Drive~
> 
> WE'RE BACK!!! WITH A VENGEANCE AND WE'RE COMIN FOR THAT BOOTY!

**June 27th**

**1800hrs**

**Beaufort Air Station,**

**Beaufort County, South Carolina**

 

_Carmilla’s currently speeding down the street, however today her wheels are smaller, much smaller. She had suggested she and Laura go for a drive and enjoy the sun but the woman protested that one couldn’t do such things cooped up in a car. With her tail between her legs, the marine relented and they picked up two pairs of roller blades._

“ _Hey come on! Don’t leave me behind,” the tallest one of the two whines._

_Laura chuckles as she watches the marine stumble around like a newborn giraffe, while she’s effortlessly gliding in circles around Carmilla. “For someone who loves speed so much, the look on your face while going 5 miles per hour on skates is truly priceless.”_

“ _Yeah well, these things don’t quite steer like my Mustang does...” Carmilla attempts to defend._

“ _Right, right,” Laura teases, takes her hand and eases her forward. “Come on, Nascar.” They both ride the pavement for a few blocks; Carmilla’s hold on Laura’s hand loosens, though their fingers remain intertwined. The marine seems to already be getting better with her stability and the sailor is smiling like a happy mother figure towards her. She makes small quips here and there, “Hill,” or “Turn your skates like that, yeah!” and the two women travel on their merry way._

_Laura wonders off here and there, though never far enough to break contact with Carmilla. The times where Laura would let her child-like heart roam free was rare, and this was especially true in public. Even if the stress lines were still apparent around her eyes, and she seems to be balancing the weight of the world on her shoulders, her smile still shines brilliantly in these fleeting instances. And the marine was glad to soak up every moment of it when the sailor wasn't watching her so scrutinizingly. Yes, she realizes how corny it sounds, but ya gotta take the moments and run with them._

_Her eyes widen in fear, though in all of Carmilla's sauve grace it barely looks like she raises her lids a fraction of an inch, however, as Laura is too busy cooing at a passing dog to see the oncoming danger ahead of her: a group of kids on their skate boards speeding down their way. Carmilla quickly tugs on Laura’s arm, which is slightly hard to do seeing as her fingers only graze the shirt Laura wears and she's trying to balance on her own skates, but she effectively pulls her out of harm’s way and into_ her _arms._

_The collision leaves Laura winded and dazed as Carmilla is trying hard to maneuver backward on her skates to the curb with Laura tucked in the crook of her arms. She looks up, just slightly, at the marine. One of her hands is clutching Carmilla’s shoulder, the other on her bicep. Their bodies are flush together, Laura notices. And from the rigidness of the other woman’s body and the way her jaw clenches to prevent any emotion from showing, Laura would say that Carmilla notices as well._

“ _Ehhh, hi,” the sailor offers weakly. How can you be out of breath from standing still? Laura wonders as she locks in on Carmilla’s shining brown orbs. Wetting her lips nervously she says, “I mean, thanks for...that.”_

_Carmilla blinks and looks elsewhere, breaking eye contact which ultimately leads to breaking the tension that had since settled between them. One of many of these instances has been occurring since she’s met the small woman, which Carmilla is beginning to think is divine torture at this point. What else could it be? Maybe a little thing called love? Nah._

_Carmilla takes a step back, or rather, rolls back to stand completely at the curb, keeping her balance, not looking at Laura when she says “Sure thing, pumpkin.”_

_They finally continue their way down this busy intersection in silence, which means Laura is either deep in thought or hurt by Carmilla’s dismissal._

_And she_ was _, hurt, for a little while at least. Until she realizes she has no idea what she would have done if Carmilla hadn’t pulled back when she did. Actually, she had been frozen in fear and curiosity of what the Marine could have done – or wanted to do._

_What if she had? What would have been her reaction? The fact that her answer wasn’t ‘Run to the nearest hill and jump’, however, is what troubled her the most._

_After a few more blocks, and a little more berating, Laura stops and calls out to her nonchalant companion, “Carm look, that’s the clinic I told you about.”_

“ _That’s...” Carmilla swallows hard, and it isn’t because she doesn’t know how to properly come to a stop with her roller blades. “You could find better work somewhere else, cupcake.” Memories came flooding back to her, though not all bad. The search for her brother had all but come up empty up to this point and perhaps the only hope she’s holding on to now is those memories of him tattooed in her mind. And yet with everything - her hectic job and turbulent social life – there was nothing that could fill the void that his presence left._

“ _What?” Laura drawls, gliding around Carmilla with her hands behind her back. “Are you kidding? It's a great place to work!”_

_Carmilla is still not convinced though she simply shrugs her shoulders and defeatedly says, “Cool. Maybe I'll come visit you with the rest of the loners.”_

“ _I’m really looking forward to working there. It’ll be nice to do something for the community,” is Laura's only response, completely disregarding Carmilla's strange behavior as it went over her head. Wasn't that what happened when you believed someone so completely?_

_Stuffing her emotions back in, Carmilla throws in a jest, “Yeah, I guess since you do shit-all for the community usually? Other than constantly putting your life on the line and frying in the desert for months at a time, right?”_

“ _You know what I mean...” Laura thinks for a while as she watches people pass them by. The streets are loud and hectic, but there’s life and joy and even sadness and at least that’s something she can find beauty in. “I guess this is different. Serving out there is something but helping people here...you can see the difference first hand. I miss my resident days,” she reminisces with a smile._

“ _Why don’t you go back then? To working as a civi,” Carmilla asks with ease, though hiding the fact that it’s the last thing she would want Laura to do._

_Laura’s all too aware, and decides to throw the ball back in Carmilla’s mitt, “Would you? After what we’ve seen?”_

_Without hesitation she replies with a resounding, “Hell no.”_

“ _It’s hard to understand what’s at stake when you can’t see if for yourself.”_

“ _Yeah, they’ve known freedom most of their lives and even if we have as well, we’ve seen what the lack of freedom can do to an entire population.”_

“ _How deep, Karnstein.”_

_Carmilla sends a brilliant grin her way, and her middle finger before continuing onward. Leaving_ that _clinic behind in her dust._

 

* * *

 

 

The marine is standing under the steady stream of hot water, the warmth begins to dissolve some of her tension though it's not much of a comfort. She moves her head backwards, staring up at the wisps of steam above her head, her long strands stick to her face though she doesn't move them away in agitation. Oddly enough, she wasn’t angry, couldn’t be - she didn’t have the energy to be so, quite frankly.

Her hand stings as the hot water coats the tender skin. Her fingers twitch slightly as she moves them around slowly, remembering she was in fact still alive and in the shower. The skin stretches and pinching pain runs through her hand like electricity as she clenches her fist. Carmilla closes her eyes, and blows out a steady breath, unknowing in what to do or say at this point. Was there really _anything_ she could do? She has survived 9 month long tours in war zones, crossed mine fields, stood still in freezing water for hours and suffered no notable injury in the most recent plane crash, yet she can’t find a way to help Laura.

It’s clear Todd has a twisted hold on his daughter, which is made worse by the fact that they share the same blood and the same memories. And then there’s that underlying obligation to please, to obey, to love - though Carmilla was sure that last element was far from present in Laura’s relationship with her father. If you can even call it that. How funny a word like 'relationship' could be filled with such passion... or dispassion. 

Laura needs to disassociate the word father with Todd, bring up that dispassion, and see him only has someone who has and wants to hurt her. Because, even though they share the same genetics and even if she is rightfully his child, nothing can ever justify what he did to her and what he’s doing to her now. 

Or maybe, just maybe, Carmilla is shooting herself in the foot, and Laura will refuse to see the truth. Maybe all those efforts will go to waste and she’ll never see reason. What would that mean if it all turned out to be a wasted struggle? What would Carmilla do if she couldn't achieve the one thing she needed in life: to save just one person. That one person that meant the world to her...

Then again, have you ever seen a marine leave a battlefield without everyone accounted for?

Carmilla sure as shit hasn’t, and she wasn’t about to become the first marine to back down from a particularly difficult fight or situation. Besides, if it’s that hard, she thinks, then the good that can come from succeeding will greatly outweigh the risks. No real results ever stem from a selfish agenda, only from selfless action. Her actions, regardless if unwanted by Laura, were for the betterment of the girl. If she couldn't see that now, maybe, just maybe, she could forgive Carmilla in the future for doing what she knows is right. Foregoing the truth, going behind her back, all in the name to protect her... didn't that mean it was the right thing to do?

She finishes washing herself, breaking out of her reverie, and steps out of the shower and into the stuffy room. Carmilla can barely recognize her figure through the reflection of the mirror foggy with condensation, telling her just how long she had been using up the sailor's water and time. Sighing, resigning herself to apologizing halfheartedly, on her way to grab the towel hanging behind the bathroom door, she notices her clothes on the sink folded neatly and clean.

_Laura..._

Carmilla didn’t even hear the woman come in.

She quickly dresses herself, shaking her head at the display of affection after such a blowout outside, and pulls her damp hair into a messy bun. There was no way Carmilla was going spend time drying her hair, only to probably pull it back in a bun or ponytail later.

_Waste of my damn time._

Carmilla opens the door; the cool air from the rest of the apartment hit her warm skin and causes a string of shivers to run through her.

Laura, who had apparently been waiting for her, stands up from her sitting position against the wall and smiles weakly at her freshly showered companion.

The marine stares at a spot behind Laura’s head, but she ends up looking at her straight in the eyes regardless of her efforts not to. And as she had speculated - the reason why she was avoiding eye contact to begin with - an uneasy awkwardness settles in between the two women. "Eh, thanks for washing my clothes...again." Her gaze jumps around to various things, yet still manages lands on the small sailor in momentary lapses.

Laura notices Carmilla's shoulders are bare as she's just wearing a tank top and cargo pants. The steam coming off her shoulders is only slightly visible, but it's most definitely there and for an instant the sailor wants to run her fingertips across such warm flesh. "S-sure. It’s not a problem at all. And, water is free anyways. Well, not entirely but you know what I mean. The detergent was on sale this week! If you’re in need of some...not that I’m saying you stink or-"

Carmillas forces herself not to smile and raises her eyebrow at the flustered girl. She motions towards the door with her head, "C’mon, let’s go before LaF sends a search party for us."

When Carmilla turns around, Laura rolls her eyes while she replays her own words back to herself. ' _The detergent’s on sale'? Insert air head laughter for more effect. God, Hollis, that was by far the worst case of rambles you’ve ever gotten._ She begins following the woman through her house until the reach downstairs. "Agreed. Running from a marine has never been on my bucket list, and it _never_ will be. I hear it’s bad for you health."

"Well, we’re not _that_ dangerous, but all I’m saying is you’ll never meet someone who’s run away from me before," Carmilla teases with a cheeky grin. She's distancing herself, she knows it, but she doubts Laura does.

They make their way to LaFontaine and Perry’s place in relative silence. The tension between them hadn’t fully disappeared as there were still so many unspoken questions and answers needing to be aired out, but both women knew this wasn’t the right time. It was strange walking from one house to another without a single word between them. It didn't feel right, didn't feel whole, and it did nothing for Carmilla's well hidden nerves.

Carmilla feels Laura’s arm slowly sneak around her own, her hand playing with the material of her tank top around her tricep. She doesn’t protest, nor move away and rather she walks closer to the sailor. She catches Laura looking at her, so she turns just in time to catch the wary look on her face.

The sailor bites her lip when she catches dark orbs staring at her. Carmilla doesn’t look like she wants push her away and run to the nearest hill but her eyes are also not jumping with joy to have such intimacy shared between them. Maybe Laura was crazy, insane, headed to the loony bin, and the marine would have every right to think so with the way her mood was switching so drastically. Yet there’s a simple comfort she can find in no other than Carmilla, and right this moment, before entering a room full of people, she’s in need of that comfort that someone does indeed support her.

_She stayed, I treated her like...crap and she stayed and I…_ "Carm, I-"

Carmilla turns her head, staring straight in front of them, now refusing to look anywhere but. Her jaw clenches before she answers, "Not here, Laura. Not now.”

"But-"

"Let’s just pretend none of this happened tonight, alright? Pretend we're a million miles away with no troubles and nothing but happiness in our future... We’ll talk later," she pauses as they stop in front of the door. She looks at the numbers on wall, and feels Laura’s hand grip her a little tighter. She sighs, "Let’s just have fun,"  _God knows we both need it._

* * *

 

 

"Oh for fuck’s sake!" Laura throws her cards on the table.

"This has got to be a joke," Danny matches her friend’s sentiments.

Carmilla just shakes her head and throws a poorly dealt hand on the table – they slide next to the pile of cookies they were using as currency.

Grinning from ear to ear, Laf, whom was the game’s self appointed dealer, happily slides the sugary treats to the red headed woman at her side. Perry rarely ever plays, except on special occasions like this and yet she still flushes everyone out in one fell swoop like it was her destiny.

When Laf brings their gaze up to meet Perry’s, the woman’s already smiling brightly. They share a kiss and the marine sighs happily. They turn towards the group and say, "Nope. We have an elite poker player among us folks. Admit defeat and move on."

"Anyone up for another?" Perry asks with a teasing tone. She was greatly enjoying herself, not only because everyone had sour look on their faces from this recent loss at a game of hold ‘em, but also because it was nice to have a nice get together with the gang without any responsibilities weighing on them.

Staying here while they were all overseas is hard and Perry would be lying if she said it didn’t make her feel apart from the group from time to time. Not to mention missing LaFontaine to death. Though, the gang were very good at including her in everything they did, and over the years her ‘Mother Hen’ title had been quickly and gladly earned amongst them.

Carmilla shakes her head as she stretches her arms in front of her, her sweet scent wafting into Laura's personal space. "After losing to a pair of 7’s I think I’m out."

"Copy that," Laf says as they nod, before they throw the same question at the sailor, "Laura?"

Laura pushes her chair back and stands up, "Negative. That’s a no go, my friend."

"Kirsh?"

He nods negatively as well, "Make that a rain check." He folds both his arms across his chest and lifts his chin in the air. "I’d rather play when the stakes are high," he admits with a slight air of superiority.

Danny snorts a laugh, "Oh you mean when we bet used underwear, toothbrushes and bars of soap?"

"Well, yeah, it’s important to be...clean and stuff," Kirsh defends with a slight frown.

"Reminds me of my days as a security guard in a supermax prison," Betty remarks. She and Danny share a smile, which Laura notices instantly. She narrows her eyes, wondering why this same interaction happened particularly often all through the night.

" _Okay_ then. How...about some rockband?" Laf asks, uncertain as they were the only one who had seen Laura's expression change.

Everyone’s eyes instantly lit up at the idea and they all but run towards the living room like children who were promised chocolate for good behaviour. LaFontaine and Kirsh fight for the rights to the drum set, while Carmilla haphazardly picks up the guitar and shotguns the bass.

Kirsh finally relents and decides to take the lead guitar, while Perry forces LaF to sub the drums with her every other song.

Danny and Betty decide to tackle the signing together, so they take a seat beside one another on the couch.

Carmilla takes the opposite end, Laura squeezing in just beside her. She tucks her feet in and leans into, or rather presses herself, against the Marine’s shoulder.

Both women share a look. Laura smiles shyly as if to say 'Is this okay?'

Carmilla nods her head in response but that's all.

Though there is still many unresolved questions between the two, the comfortable atmosphere is enough to make them forget their trouble momentarily, which was exactly the purpose of this get together. It was also something Carmilla ushered forth right before they entered the home in the first place, which was A-OK with Laura.

"Hey LaF," Carmilla calls out, "you got the ‘Bladder of Steel’ achievement on this?"

"Nooope."

They share an evil grin between each other before blue and whiskey orbs look around the room as if the others were live bait.

Laura, for her part, is confused by their sudden determination. All of them are cracking their knuckles, stretching their necks and readying themselves as if they were about to enter a boxing ring. Kirsh quickly goes to the bathroom and comes back in less than a minute, which brings a swift thought into Laura's head if he had washed his hands.

Laura tugs on the marine’s garb and whispers, "What’s this iron bladder thing?"

"Bladder of steel, cupcake," Carmilla chuckles. "It’s a trophy you get for playing through all the songs in one sitting."

Laura hides her face in the marine’s shoulder, forgetting yet again that such intimacy might not be okay after such a fight. "Oh God, we’ll be here all night," she laments jokingly.

The woman doesn't seem to notice as she revs the bass. "Got somewhere else to be, Lauronica?" Carmilla raises an eyebrow, smirking for the first time today. _Quite the record, let me tell ya._

Laura fights the urge to say that she hasn’t felt like she belonged anywhere until she met her, that she feels at home whenever Carmilla is near, but she keeps the feeling inside and uses it like a comfy pillow. "Not at all," she replies softly, looking up at the marine.

"Wanna sub with me?" Carmilla asks after a short moment.

"I’d rather watch you play," Laura says with another shy smile.

Everyone is watching both women’s interaction. Some are smiling; others are holding in their ‘omg, just make out already’ comments to themselves – with the help of a friend’s hand covering their mouth to keep the words from flowing freely. Even though all of this is happening around them, neither Carmilla nor Laura seems to notice.

Carmilla shrugs, accepting Laura’s answer. She leans forward; her fingers are set by the colored keys, unmoving but aching to. "Ready."

"Uh, right..." LaFontaine shakes their head, discouraged, but amused. They bend down to reach the controller by their feet and set up their game.

Sounds of tapping and cheering fill the room as the first song of many lights up the television screen.

* * *

 

 

Carmilla sits down on the couch as they return to Laura’s apartment, positively beat - emotionally drained and physically sore. She closes her eyes and presses her cool hand behind her neck, slowly kneading the knotted muscles. This little get together, however, was far from a bad idea. It was nice to hear everyone laugh together and just have simple fun in each other’s presence.

She wasn’t aware that the cushion had shifted beside her, until a smaller hand stilled the moving hand behind her head. Startled, she opens her eyes quickly and sees Laura staring at her with the same apologetic expression she’s had all night when glancing at the dark woman.

There was something else there too: a request for consent.

Carmilla nods and removes her hand. The muscles in her neck, much to her dismay, jolted awake as the tips of Laura’s fingers started rubbing the skin in slow, circular motions. A groan involuntarily escapes her mouth.

Laura’s movements still, only for half a second, but to Carmilla it seemed longer somehow. She felt the slight twitch in her fingers, the sharp intake of breath - heck, she even heard the woman wet her lips out of nervousness. Everything was so acute, so precise, for a moment both women were suspended there breathing each other in.

_This is ridiculous. It’s like we’re stuck in some stupid, steamy romance novel. Fuck._

Before Carmilla can curse her life and current situation further, she feels Laura shift to move behind her, folding one of her legs behind the marine’s back while letting the other hang off the couch beside the woman’s thigh.

_And it gets worse_... Though, the firm press of Laura’s hands on her muscles is making her doubt her own thoughts. _Or better…_ Carmilla bites her lips to keep from moaning out loud again.

_Yeah, definitely better._

Laura pressed her front to the woman’s back, leaning into her, as if seeking heat like a newborn kitten, and there was no denying the marine gave off enough heat for the both of them no matter the temperature.

Carmilla’s skin is extremely soft, Laura thinks she could touch the woman for hours and not get tired of how it feels beneath her fingers. She starts pressing down harder on the more pliant muscles, her hands moving at a more deliberate pace.

Laura hits a spot that causes the marine to jerk a little into her. It was hard to determine whether her reaction was caused by pain or pleasure, yet seconds later she feels Carmilla lean back and relax into her. The taller woman's messy bun has become even messier, thin strands falling down to caress Laura's chest as she leans in closer... closer.

This could be romantic, Laura remarks to herself, if their awkward predicament wasn’t so dire. She can imagine herself kissing a path down Carmilla’s neck, down her back before coming up around to her jaw and - she was now looking at goosebumps raise on the marine’s skin from her own breath.

_When did I get so close?_ Her loss of memory was evidently bizarre, and occurring regularly. Laura felt like a poor victim under a vampire’s powerful thrall.

A guttural whisper spread out into the living room, "Are you going to try and massage me with your nose, cupcake?"

Laura chuckles slightly, albeit embarrassed, and moves back to a respectable distance; hating the loss of sensation. "You never know, it could work."

Carmilla grunts back a reply, enjoying this silent moment entirely too much to begin a conversation she’d rather not have. She closes her eyes once more, her hand unconsciously moving to rest on Laura’s thigh and moving on its own accord.

They might not be on the best of terms, but the way they naturally exist around each other, for each other, is far too powerful for either of them to ignore. Albeit their differences, the marine would find it impossible to live without Laura’s soft, but strong presence close to her.

Laura feels the marine relax further, the hand casually moving on her leg doing absolutely nothing to ward off her earlier burst of fantasy. _Get a hold of yourself Hollis, this isn’t smutty fanfiction._

She wants to apologize, tell Carmilla she’s sorry and promise her she’ll never do it again, but it would be an outright lie. Laura couldn’t even understand her own actions, and why she always succumbs to the same fear - folds in its face like a tent from walmart catching a little too much wind. If somehow, by some God’s grace, she has the strength to overcome this, then she needs to find it sooner rather than later because Laura might just end up losing the one person who’s had enough patience to help her find that dose of vitality.

She lets her hand glide down Carmilla’s back, and wraps them around her midsection. She pulls her closer and gently presses her nose behind the marine’s neck. "I’m sorry."

No, apologizing wouldn’t solve anything, but at least it’s a start.

"It’s not okay, Laura. The way you reacted-"

"I’m scared."

Carmilla clenches her jaw but forces out a neutral, "I know."

"I need you, Carm," Laura’s voice cracks, along with the marine’s resolve to remain neutral.

Carmilla turns her body halfway towards Laura, a position that’s far from being comfortable, and takes the smaller woman in her arms. "I know." Carmilla feels the smaller girl hold her a little tighter and her heart breaks a little more. "We should talk, but there is no way we’re figuring this out tonight. This can’t be fixed with a conversation."

Laura sees her shift away and immediately moves to get up. She panics, instantly calling out to her, "Please don’t leave."

Carmilla sighs, not out of annoyance nor anger, but the weariness of the situation itself. "I’m not leaving, Laura, but I can’t help you if you won’t let me."

Her throat burns, breathing is painful, words don’t come out the way she would like them to but still she chokes out, "H-how?"

"We’ll figure it out, I promise."

"I wish I could leave it all behind tonight, change now and never look back." Words... they were just words...

Carmilla smiles sadly, the sailor’s wishes not very far from her own. "Well, that would be entirely too easy, Hollis."

Laura takes hold of Carmilla’s hand, holding it between both of her own. "I’m not joking, Carm. I want to love you. Really love you."

This word she keeps repeating - love - Laura isn’t exactly sure what it feels like, only that it ought to feel like every second she’s spent with the marine since they met. Like every time Carmilla brings her a cookie without being asked. And like the way she always places her hand on the small of Laura’s back as non-verbal encouragement. Or even the immense patience the marine shows her on a daily basis when dealing with her issues...

Yeah, Laura thinks, that's exactly what love should be.

Carmilla’s taken aback by Laura’s honest openness about her feelings. Something which she’s seen very rarely. Her words not only brought her hope, but a healthy colour to her cheeks. If she really wants to try, then Carmilla would gladly be passion’s fool and bite the bait with her whole mouth. "Then let me help you, and whatever fear you’re holding onto we’ll kick it’s ass. Together."

Laura smiles warmly when she feels the warmth of Carmilla’s hand cover hers. "I like the sound of that. We’ll try, _together_." They stare at each other for a few moments, lost in their own thoughts, though both wishing their minds would stop and rest.

_Rest, now there’s an idea,_ Laura thinks before she speaks up and breaks the silence, "Bed?"

"Please," Carmilla’s whine sounds a little pitiful (but Laura thinks it’s the cutest).

The women head to bed, with full hearts and a full heads. The first barrier towards reconciliation of both women and of Laura’s self had been finally breached. Admitting there is a problem needing to be fixed is the first step to recovery, or so all the good psychologists say. However, right now, the marine’s inner psychologists is telling her that a warm cozy bed awaits them. Carmilla had pondered if she should stay the night, or even crash on the couch, but neither of those options felt right - they seemed a little punitive without good reason.

Silently, she followed the smaller girl into the bedroom where they shed their clothes in the dark and all but collapsed on top of the covers. Though, sometime in the night Laura had shifted in her sleep and had wrapped herself around Carmilla like a baby koala seeking heat. Or perhaps love. Regardless it was cute, Carmilla was sure to ponder.

Carmilla sleeps deeply all through the night and wakes the next morning before Laura does. She considers making herself breakfast, but the noise could very well wake the sailor up. For now though, Carmilla feels that she needs a healthy dose of alone time to sort out...well, everything. Her thoughts, her emotions, Laura telling her she wants to love her.

Her mind is telling her it’s complicated when her heart is disagreeing and saying it’s the most simple of tasks. The distinct nuance is creating all sorts of unanswered questions she can’t possibly expect to figure out if she’s around Laura.

She decides to go for a run to start her day. Before she leaves, Carmilla places a bag of sliced bread on top of a clean plate and sets them beside the toaster along with a jar of peanut butter and a knife. She then grabs a paper and a pen and considers writing a note, but quickly changes her mind and draws a stick figure that looks to be running, though it looks like its floating in the middle of the page.

Happy with her art, or rather her massacre of this fine skill, she leaves Laura’s apartment and walks the short distance to her own. Carmilla changes into her running shorts and her grey marine t-shirt and sends out a single text to Lawrence before leaving for her morning exercise.

 

_**Karnstein, 7:15 A.M:** _ _We need to talk._

_**Lawrence, 7:17 A.M:** _ _Sounds serious, bring coffee?_

_**Karnstein, 7:20 A.M:** _ _It’s a date ;)_

_**Lawrence, 7:24 A.M:** _ _Ew, no thanks._

_**Karnstein, 7:25 A.M:** _ _Fuck off -_-_

_**Lawrence, 7:25A.M:** _ __

* * *

 

 

Carmilla arrives at Danny’s place just before lunch time. She lets herself in without knocking and places her shoes down beside another pair of boots - academy issued police uniform boots to be exact - that, of course, Carmilla notices immediately.

_I guess Lawrence had a sleepover. Oh, I wonder If they braided each other’s hair._ Carmilla chuckles at her own joke, though she was stunned Lawrence had actually taken Laf’s advice and went in for the slam dunk - which would literally be possible considering both of their heights. _B_ rain _making inappropriate giraffe jokes now - shit, don’t let them know!_

Danny walks out of her room buttoning her jeans, and the first thing she sees is Carmilla with two coffees in her hands and a shit eating grin. She sighs internally and rolls her eyes. "What are you laughing at Karnstein?"

As if on cue, Betty emerges from behind Danny; her navy t-shirt clearly inside out, which only makes Carmilla laugh harder.

"You two _banged_ ," the marine sing songs in a teasing tone while pointing at them, both smoldering cups of coffee still within her grasp.

Danny rubs her face in exasperation, and somewhat hoping it would make the color tinting her cheeks go away. "Oh my God, are you five?"

"Yeah, so?" Clearly Carmilla had no problem with this comparison.

"How we feeling this morning," the officer asks as she moves around the tall redhead to take a seat on the couch. Danny follows suit and falls in the seat beside Betty with a huff.

Carmilla shrugs. "Doing alright." She takes a seat on the recliner facing the couch and leans forward to place Danny’s coffee on the table, a silent peace offering. Will Danny accept? _The suspense is killing me..._

After quite some time of contemplation, Danny finally relents, nods at Carmilla and takes the coffee cup. For now they’re even. "You said we needed to talk…"

"Right." Carmilla throws one leg over the armrest and leans back in the chair, rocking it slowly. "How the hell was Todd allowed bail?"

"Friends in high places?"

"I highly doubt that garbage you call a person has friends, or knows the meaning of the word."

Betty interjects, "Technically, it wasn’t a break and enter since he was willingly given a key by the owner of the apartment. If I hadn’t put in a word for you, sweetie, you would have spent the night with him and released this morning. Time to cool off, y’know?"

Sighing heavily and rubbing her forehead, Carmilla leans back in the chair, looking at the ceiling fan turn without interruption. She wonders how different people would be if there would be no interruptions in their lives. How different Laura would be without her father’s influence. "There must be _something_ we can do."

Danny sits up, fidgeting with the edge of her coffee cup. She’s contemplating going deep into her long time friend’s backstory and wondering if it’s one thing that should be kept unspoken. Then again, if it can help her gain some peace and closure with her father... "Laura and I go way back," she says finally.

Carmilla raises an eyebrow at the sailor’s uneasiness. "Yeah, figured that big red."

She sighs. "I mean - we _dated_ in high school."

Carmilla bursts out laughing, like seriously, unexpected, explosive laughter. After regaining some form of composure she notices Danny isn’t smiling or laughing or showing any signs that she was joking. She then looks to Betty, who must have been aware as she’s not showing signs of surprise nor shock. Though she looks like she’s seriously trying to hold back a grin. _Good, at least I’m not the only one who sees how fucking hilarious this is..._

"Wait, you’re serious?"

"First, how is that funny? And second, why would this be something I joke about?"

Carmilla attempts to stifle another laugh which she weakly covers with a cough.

Danny, however, is far from amused. "It’s the height thing isn’t it?"

"No! No, no, of course _it...absolutely...is_."

"Fucks sake, I’m trying to give you insight here."

Carmilla clears her throat and takes a deep breath to calm her giggles, and sits forward in the recliner as to show the woman she’s ready to hear her out. "Sorry, sorry. Go ahead."

"Things were great at first, but she’d never invite me over to her house, I’d never met her parents and she’d always avoid talking about them. I thought nothing of it at first, it didn’t really matter to me since…"

"You were happy," Betty supplied helpfully.

"Yeah," Danny sighs before continuing, " _but_ it bothered me, so I pried a little bit here and a little bit there. Eventually she got fed up and basically told me that whatever happens at home was none of my business. I tried to get her to talk to someone, even if it hurt that she wouldn’t trust me. I thought maybe she needed the help and talking to someone that wasn’t so close to her would help. _And_ maybe joining the military with me did help her escape, but she always lets him win. _Every damn time._ The strength she has on a battlefield and on an operating table is unlike anything I’ve ever seen, but her dad just raises his voice at her and she becomes this scared kid."

Carmilla nods in understanding; she rests her chin on her hand for a moment and even if she’s attempting to understand how these events have deeply changed Laura over the years she can’t help but be a little bit bothered by Danny’s admissions. Everybody knows it’s a low blow to go after a friend’s ex-partner.

"Well, I’m no psychologist ladies, but there are things we could do to keep him away from her," Betty proclaims.

"That’s what I came here for." Heck of a lucky break to have a cop on our side, Carmilla thinks. "If one of the attacks on her was ever reported do you think-"

"I could fish it out of the big vault-o-secrets at the cop shop?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth...literally. Don’t do that," she added with a mock frown.

Betty chuckles and winks, "I’ll look into it."

"Do you think an offence like that would it be enough to get a restraining order?" Danny asks as she crumples up yet another piece of brainstorming paper and 3 points it in the garbage.

Betty high fives her and answers, "The only problem is that the order itself would have to be issued by Laura."

"I doubt she would go for that," Carmilla says, following suit and rolls a blank sheet of paper into a ball and attempts a 3 pointer herself. She swishes it with one hand, automatically one-upping the sailor. She gives Danny a look, and raises an eyebrow, another silent challenge.

"And it might make him angrier and he’d end up lashing out at people close to her. And right now I’ll say he has a pretty big grudge against you." Danny says while she stands up, turns around and throws another ball of paper in the trashcan.

She gets it in. Carmilla grinds her teeth. "So that’s a no go. I'd rather not have the threat on my head turned factual by such a nitwit. I have higher standards for my death already played out."

Betty passes an already rolled up paper to Carmilla, and ignores Danny’s glare. It was a shock to hear Todd had actually threatened Carmilla's life, but she said nothing about it. It was just talk, nothing to go off of regardless of past aggravations. 

The marine uses this for fuel, obviously, she pretends to send some prayer up in the heavens before she turns around, closes her eyes and shoots the ball. It ricochets off the wall and into the garbage bin.

They’ve come to another draw. The two women share a nod of acknowledgment.

The officer shakes her head, wondering how two people, who are practically opposites, can have such a good friendship. She’s not complaining, however, it gives her hope in humanity. "The best thing we can do is look into the files. Can you both meet me at the station at lunch time?"

"Will do," Carmilla agrees with a salute.

Danny is however, not as eager, "I’ve learned not to pry in Laura’s life. I’m staying clear of this one." She sighs and fixes Carmilla directly, "Are you sure you want to go behind Laura’s back like that?"

The marine understands the warning for what it is, and Carmilla admits that Danny is right on some level, but doing nothing is just as worse as what Laura’s father has done to her. "What other choice do I have? With this shitstain in her life, she’ll never make any progress. And don't think you're so innocent in all of this, red. You're the one that put the idea in our heads."

"You know the consequences involved if you’re willing to risk it, Karnstein. You know I'll deny any involvement in this for Laura's own good." Y _ou’ve got more balls than I do that’s for sure. I see why Laura likes her._

"He busted my face _and_ my knuckles, Lawrence. I don’t need justification for what I’m doing. It’s for Laura’s safety _and_ everyone else’s... It's for Laura's own good..."

"I get it, completely- I just hope for your sake Laura will too."

Carmilla’s pretty damn confident and she boldy replies, "She will." _She has too._

* * *

 

 

Carmilla’s on foot, rounding a busy street corner and if the blaring red sign of her brother’s garage coming into view wasn’t enough, the sounds of her brother and her cousin arguing undeniably marked the spot. She walks into the parking space, which is filled with cars sitting side by side, all waiting for one thing: a mechanic’s TLC.

She can’t see her Mustang, which means it was probably still drying in the paint booth, she thinks. All the bay doors are open, probably to help with air circulation a little better, but in this humid heat there’s no escaping the sun’s wrath. Carmilla’s not surprised to find about a dozen fans pointing at the working bays.

Her time at the station with Betty hadn’t brought them as far as they both would have liked, but there’s enough dirt in that man’s file that could possibly put him away for a long time. The only problem is Laura would need to testify as the only proof that’s left of all his horrible deeds is Laura’s memories and scars. Though, there was something odd about the fact that none of the abuse reports were closed even though some feature witness reports of a beaten up child and noise complaints from neighbours. Which was where they both decided they would start this investigation.

The marine makes her way into building, sending a courteous hello towards the the secretary at front office as she walks past it. Cynthia’s her name and she’s been there since Carmilla can remember; long black hair, dark tan - you know, the kind of girl that never wears the same hairstyle twice in a week? That’s her. They have history; the kind that reminds her that even if the sex was memorable, the lack of love and interest, other than physical attraction, couldn’t solidify a lasting relationship. They parted on good terms, however.

"Hey there, tall, dark, Marine," Cynthia speaks up, placing her phone down in front of her to look at Carmilla. _Damn, still hot_. _Always so hot. "_ How long have you been back?" she asks, as she rests her chin down onto her propped hand.

"Couple months," Carmilla says, shrugging as she comes to a stop in front of the questionably solid counter and leans against it. There’s a fan at the end of it, spinning at full speed with one blade missing. To complete the real ‘garage’ look there’s also an old - like _really_ old - tube tv mounted behind the receptionist, high up above her head so that waiting customers could watch it. Though, she wonders with they keep that antique there, no one evers stays.

Cynthia fakes a pout, "And it’s the first time you come to visit me? I’m hurt," she says, playfully hitting the Marine’s shoulder.

"I’ve been in a whirlwind since I got here," Carmilla says, almost apologetically. "It feels like we left base just yesterday."

They chat for a while, catching up. Carmilla wonders why Cynthia asks so many questions she can’t answer - most are classified. Though ‘classified’ can be broad in the military. Carmilla’s assured disclosing information on the brand of the supplied underwear could be counted as ‘classified’.

She chuckles to herself and almost missed the dark woman’s question. _Shit, what did she say?_ Or rather, misses it entirely.

"I’m _that_ interesting, am I?" Cynthia jokes - not irked, but close to it.

Jacob comes up behind them, in dirty green work overalls. "Aww don’t take it personally ‘thia. Carm’s scored herself a hot piece of-"

Carmilla slaps the back of his head and points at him sternly. "Watch it!" She avoids the dirty rag being thrown her way. "I haven’t - Laura and I are friends."

"Right, and imports can beat american muscle at quarter miles, and turbos come in every stock car, and -"

"I get it, flappy mouth. Funny, ah ah, look at me laugh."

He was used to his sister’s sarcasm, sure, but there was something else eating away at her patience - Jacob could see that much. "Need a little somethin’ to relax? Your shit’s wound up tighter than George Bush’s wife."

The marine couldn’t hold in her laugh, even if she had been adamant on brooding for the rest of eternity.  _You can’t punish everyone for one person’s mistake Karnstein, you know that._ "Sorry, I just...need to do something, _anything._ " the small smile appearing on her brother’s lips brings her a needed sense of comfort.

"Sure thing." They both nod at Cynthia as they join their cousin who’s haunched over a work table, cleaning pistons slick with grease and oil build-up. There’s a bare speed bike sitting in the working bay. The engine had been taken out for modifications and cleaning.

Michael quickly looks behind him as they approach. "Alright, what’d she do to ya?"

Carmilla frowns before crossing her arms. "What?"

He grins as he explains, "You always come here to work when you got women troubles."

"I do not!"

"Mickey, cut it out," Jacob speaks forcefully. His cousin was really good at getting a rise out of people when it was good fun, though he had no tact when it came to delicate issues, which Jacob was sure this was.

The mechanic shrugs and goes back to his work, a shit eating grin still on his lips before falling into disgruntlement.

"And you," Jacob points to his sister as he walks to a row of lockers situated against the far wall of the garage. "Save your brooding for later and make yourself useful, longstockings."

"Aye, aye." Carmilla gives him a halfhearted salute that her superior officers would have found pitiful and given her at least fifty push-ups for. Good thing they aren’t here, she thinks. _I’m so not in the mood for push-ups._

She finally takes a look at the machine they’re working on, and for the second time this year, she falls in love on first sight. There are two large red candy red stripes and two thin white ones painted over a metallic black frame. The simple sporty design making the machine look sleek, and fast - a characteristic she knows isn’t an optical illusion.

Jacob smirks as he sees the look on his sister’s face as she walks back towards her. "Caught your eye didn’t she?" he asks, briskly throwing her a pair of navy blue overalls that have definitely seen better days. ‘Carm’ is stitched on the left side, just above the breast pocket.

"‘Aight enough drooling, let’s get to work."

The marine gladly got to business. When the motorcycle’s innards were as clean as it’s outside frame - the engine now kicking a hell of a punch - Jacob insisted that Carmilla take it out on a test drive. He, however, limited her to a few street corners, know she could get a little...carried away with power at her fingertips.

The last nail was hit, the proverbial coffin now closed tightly. Carmilla was definitely going to get one of those - with two helmets of course.

* * *

 

 

Laura’s leaning against the pristine white counter of the clinic, her closed fist digging into her cheek. Her eyes are intently watching the door - a door which has seen one patient since noon, and it was a little boy who had scrapped his knee. The sailor was more than happy to patch him up and give him a candy after the examination, but she thought working here would be more... _I don’t know...exciting?_

But there she is, bored as hell and not to mention uncomfortable in her baby blue scrubs. _I look way better in desert camo_ , Laura thinks as she blows away a strand of honey blond hair from her face before jutting her palm into her closed eyes.

A nurse walks behind the front desk, pushing a cart filled with boxes, and looks just as fed up with the day as Laura does. "These need to be filled or recycled... _if_ you have some time on your hands."

"Yeah, definitely. I’ll take a look."   _Jesus, how drastic is it to go from making a tourniquet on an amputated leg to filling stupid papers_?

"All those before 1999 need to be thrown out, the rest you can file in order with all of our files."

Laura smiles at the nurse before she leaves to check on a patient. Which patient? She’s isn’t sure...as there aren’t any.

"Yay for paperwork," Laura grumbles unenthusiastically when she’s sure the nurse is out of earshot. She moves towards the cart, as if she was walking the plank and a sharp sword at her back was edging her there.

She opens the first box, and braces herself for the dust that’s sure to blow up in her face. To her surprise, there is none. She begins to filter through the files, haphazardly taking a look at the date and throwing them in a not so neat discard pile. It wasn't like this clinic was really known for having active abuse patients or elderly folk who died here or anything, so Laura didn't find herself caring much about scrapped knees and cold medicines. She briefly wondered what it'd be like to work in a Home, having to throw out old patient files and belongings that no living family member wanted and the sadness of that got her over her slump rather quickly.

Instead, she continued to look through the many folders with varying degrees of dust on them while she sorted. "Rodriguez, discard. Simmons, totally discard. Vanier, how posh – _and_ discard. Jones – woah 62’? Wayyyyyy discard. Karnstein, archive."

_Wait, what?_ Laura's hand bolts out into the direction of the archive file before she picks the file back up, double checking the name to make sure her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her. Which wouldn’t be all that unrealistic since Carmilla’s constantly been on her mind lately. How can she not? They’re practically joined at the hip. But when she looked at the name again, double checking it and then triple checking it, she let out a breathy sigh.  
  
The file read: Karnstein, William.

Who could this be? Carmilla’s father? The sailor eyes the date: 1993 are the letters printed on the beige folder. It could be a sibling, Laura thinks – her curiosity peaks, remembering the dinner only yesterday and the way the family clammed up at the boy's name. Was this _that_ William? For some reason, Laura had it in her mind that that particular Will was long gone for whatever reason. But this file possibly marked him healthy and alive years ago. Could this possibly hold the mysterious clues that could exonerate Laura's own words to Carmilla after her father had stormed off? If she knew about Will, wouldn't her own understandings be better to help Carmilla? Well... maybe, she thinks as she looks over the file's cover page and licks her lips. 

It would be easy to simply open the file and take a look inside, just a little peek, but Laura felt wary to break this intimacy between her and the marine. Besides, she doesn’t believe she has any right to pry into the woman’s past.

_Though, technically, it’s not Carmilla’s personal file and thus not so bad. Right?_ Laura understands how ridiculous her reasoning is, but curiosity always had a tight hold on her, still does now, and it just won another battle. _But not the war...dammit._

She, however, decides it would be best to read it at home where she’s alone. Which results to Laura sliding it into her bag with her change of clothes after her shift. She looks back and spots the nurse, whom come to think of it she hasn’t seen all day, looking at her through the large glass window.

Laura gasps internally, hoping she looks cool and collected on the outside. _SHE KNOWS._

_Keep calm, Hollis, how could she possibly know that one file out of the gazillion that were there is missing?_ _God, I can’t believe I’m doing this. Stealing from a clinic...Has my anxiety evolved into kleptomania now? Christ._

Laura spent her walk home imagining a scenario where her theft of the file was discovered and the MP’s are chasing her, bumping her to priority number one of the military’s most wanted list. The chase would be exhilarating but she imagines she would get a head start and could easily take a flight out of the country. Perhaps to Honolulu, and then change her identity to a recreational marijuana dealer with sick dreads and a penchant for tie-dye clothing. She still isn’t sure about that, Laura figures she’d flesh out the details of her new wardrobe later.

When the sailor arrives home, she throws her backpack on the empty couch and heads straight to the kitchen. _Wow I’m hungry. Must have been all this pretend running away from the MPs’._

She sees a bag of bread and a note on top of a clean plate and Laura realizes perhaps the fact that she is so hungry is probably due to the fact that she has forgotten to have breakfast. She reads the note with a large smile, her heart swelling at Carmilla’s considerate gesture, though she fights the urge to draw a ground for the little stick figure to run on.

_What’s this feeling in my stomach? Probably just me feeling like an asshole for stealing her brother’s file when she’s been nothing but sweet and understanding._

Laura settles on the couch, 6 peanut butter toasts piled high on her plate. She lays out the file on the coffee table in front of her where she has a long stare down with it while she chews on her food and greatly questions the morality of her decision.

Laura thinks she could simply just ask Carmilla about her siblings, or father, but the guarantee that she would answer was small and thus not good enough to satisfy her curiosity. She would just end up peeking at the final anyway. It wasn't that she didn't trust Carmilla, on the contrary, Laura trusted her with everything she had... mostly. It was just, well.... it was just her curiosity! And Carmilla was so open with her anyways... what would be the harm? It's not like Laura herself had anything to hide... ha... right...

The sailor calms her thoughts and tentatively leans forward before extending one arm towards the beige folder. A crumb from her toasts falls onto it, and her eyes widen in fear. _I’ve contaminated the evidence of my crime with my DNA. It’s a sign! That I’m one messy eater, yeah._

_Alright, here goes..._ Slowly, with her fingers trips, she flips the file open.

For a moment, brown orbs just stared at the paper before a whispering breath escapes her mouth, "What... is this?"


	11. Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snooping, journalism, and... flashbacks?
> 
>  
> 
> Written by Steph (Wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (Leonard-Cohen-the-Second).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hallelujah by Phedora or the man behind it all Leonard Cohen
> 
>  
> 
> It's been too long! I'm so sorry this is coming out so late, but my writing creativity has just been tanked for so long and it really shows in this chapter, sadly. I really hope you guys enjoy. Fun fact is that I'm writing this chapter whilst in Beaufort SC, so I thought it was only fitting to add in a bit more detail about the area.
> 
> Also, since, with the new season, we've found out Papa Hollis' real name parts of this chapter will try to rectify the naming choice of our Papa. I was going to just change the name in the previous chapters, but didn't know which would be better. So any thoughts on that would be helpful for me to bring you guys a fully encompassing experience.

** June 28th **  
** 0900 **  
** Beaufort Air Station, **   
** Beaufort County, South Carolina **

 

  
“See,” Laura proclaims loudly before being scolded by a deathly glare. She tries again, this time much quieter but the intensity isn't hindered at all, “A report. Of her very much  _alive_  brother. A report of-”

“Abuse,” Lafontaine says, whistling in a breath before they turn to look at their wife. Perry shares a dangerous glare with the marine before she looked back to Laura. She rubbed her arms as she did, but she stays silent. “Laura... how did you find this?”

Everything suddenly warrants Laura's attention fully, as if it becomes a hundred more times important, especially the contents of the folder that is strewn in a neat pile over Laf's copper living room table. Laura doesn't answer at first, instead opting to bite her lip and cast her delicate fingers over the slightly molded over papers, and her eyes dart from side to side. They weren't moving because she needs to try to come up with a lie to tell her friends, more so that she is reading all the words that stand out on the page like "Fracture" and "Orbital rim hairline" in messy scrawl. No doubt the official Times Roman on the page is impeded by the handwritten notes of the unnamed nurse that was assigned to the case years ago and those little notes were hers. It plagues Laura's mind because a lot of what the scrawl indicated was not in the official report at all...

"Honey," Perry interjects, fidgeting uncomfortably next to her partner.

"Well... So you know how I've been working at the clinic now?" When a nod of acknowledgement comes, Laura continues, "The clinic asked me to throw away every file before 1999 and to archive the rest. I saw Karnstein in a big pile and, well, here we are. But, like, guys!" The sailor's eyes widen and she looks back to the file as if to convey her point with a simple gesture. She barely had time that morning to pull her hair into a bun and instead opted to pull the sides behind her ears like she always used to when she was in high school. Laura looks so much younger because of it, and her striped shirt and sweatpants doesn't help the age she's portraying. "Why hasn't she talked about this?"

"This is an extreme invasion of privacy," Perry says, flinging up her hands before crossing them over her chest again. She's exasperated, she needs to speak to LaF about leaving soon, and her friend was snooping into her non-girlfriend's personal life. Three things on the list for that day that she definitely did  _not_  put there!

"I have to go with Per on this one, Laura. I'm all for... unofficially going into people's personal stuff but this is a bit too far." LaF looks to their wife and shrugs, knowing Laura isn't even listening. "Side-note, you work at the clinic now?"

Laura ignores the next glare Perry throws at LaF for asking such a dumb question and instead replies, "I started working there yesterday; papers finally went through. Okay, but if this report was opened in 1993, then why is the entire Karnstein family so anal about not talking about him? Where'd he go?"

"These wounds are really serious," Perry answers, bringing over a cup of hot chocolate she had been making. "He could have died... But you wouldn't know that because you haven't  _asked_  Carmilla."

The possible end of William hits Laura like a ton of bricks that's only slightly fixed by the trail of warm liquid down her throat. She almost chokes on it, her throat seizing without permission, and she's aware how LaF hits the side of their wife's arm for the first time in warning. Perry's twinkling eyes lower with sympathy for a moment, probably realizing her ever encompassing tact had just been thoroughly compromised, before the woman comes around the couch and sits next to Laura. Her arms are around her in a hug, of sorts, and Laura knows if anyone else was moved in that position it'd be so uncomfortable. But not with Mama Perry; never with that woman.

It was a simple comfort Laura hadn't had when she was a child, and she wonders if Perry understands that deep down. Maybe that was why she was the one that always gave Laura hugs or didn't raise her voice to her ever. Perry was the one giving her chocolates and cleaning her house when they were away, and she even went as far to buy groceries for her even though Laura protests all the time that she can do it herself. The same reply would always come, 'You need to eat more vegetables!' and off Perry would skitter into her kitchen to stock the cabinets with crisp apples and other vegetable-like foods that Laura had no idea about. She prefered her peanut butter toast snacks and chocolate chip cookies over healthy alterations any day. Once she even feigned no knowledge of the fruits and veggies underneath the categories, which had caused Perry to go red in the face with trying to explain the simple food products to her. It wasn't until LaFontaine came in the room to stop Perry from explaining that the woman realized Laura was being facetious and childish. Those were the times...

But the times they found themselves in now were very different. Her father was out and about threatening Carmilla's life. Carmilla's aversion to speaking about her brother who, from the looks of it, was abused just as Laura had been years ago. Laura treating Carmilla like utter shit with going behind her back and-

Okay, no. This wasn't really  _that_  bad in the scheme of things. It wasn't like this stuff was public knowledge, but it also wasn't like Laura took the file without permission just to snoop. It was going to be thrown out anyways with the other many files, and if she hadn't snagged it up it would be sitting at the end of a paper shredder now. Wasn't it a good thing she could learn more about Carmilla without... having to actually... talk to her?... Okay, so she saw the error in her ways, but this was also a very big red flag to her.

"Perry, if you were there when Will's name was brought up, you'd see why I can't just ask her about it. I mean... I kinda already screwed that up after my dad was here last." She bites her lip again before shaking her head as Perry moves away from her on the couch. "Carmilla almost... left when I brought up Will. And I get that it was a really bad timing on my part, but she's hiding stuff!"  _Not like I've done anything like that before..._  "I just want to understand so that I can help her."

"Carmilla isn't really the type to need someone's help," LaF says, tapping the back of the couch with their finger. _Especially emotion wise._

"And even if she was, you don't have the right to decide what's good for her and what isn't, Laura," Perry adds. "These are very serious things. If you don't go to jail for stealing medical files, Carmilla will not be happy when she finds out about this."

"You mean  _if_  she finds out," Laura responds. Her brown orbs are behind her on Perry now, non-threatening but also not willing to let the underlying threat go, before she shakes her head. "The journalism class I sat in back in high school has prepared me for this, okay. I can  _help_  Carmilla this way. I can do the right thing. It's for her sake; I mean if you had seen the way she reacted."

LaF and Perry exchange a look, neither of them wanting to speak on that, before the latter leaves the room. She's presumably going to get Jamie to feed them, but Laura doesn't really notice as she stares at the file a little harder. It isn't until LaF comes to sit next to her that she turns her attention towards her friend.

"Laura... do you really think you, of all people, get to decide what's good for someone else? I get this is really close to home, but you're sticking your nose in Carmilla's  _life._  I don't know about you, but everything I've seen about that woman doesn't really strike me as someone who's just gonna sit back and let someone pry into her business."

The sailor turns her gaze towards LaF before she sighs and swipes her hand across her cheek. "I know what it's like to live this life. Why wouldn't I be able to help her with this? What's the point of going through all this pain if I can't even do that?"

They quickly hide the look of astonishment on their face as Laura responds so openly. It was a rare day, a blue moon, that the sailor would ever mention anything so honestly about her own past or her dealings. And just like that every one of Laura's actions suddenly make sense to them. LaF can't deny that, they can't interject any longer, and instead they reach in and give Laura another hug. "Okay," they say as they pull away. "Well, Hollis, what's the first thing on the agenda?"

Giddily rubbing their hands together, the two get down to business of self-appointed righteous snooping.

* * *

 

 

Carmilla agitatedly taps her fingers against the leather of her steering wheel as her dark orbs look around the area. Her patience is running low, she sighs and looks back toward the house she is parked in front of before peering back out toward the street. The house was modest in size, probably only having three bedrooms, but it looked cozy enough, Carmilla decides. The blue tint of the slates matched with the yellow curtains was a bit much, but hey to each their own. It wasn't like Carmilla's own weird fascination with orderly and regal was everyone's tastes, so who was she to judge? Still... those curtains...

"Where the hell is this chick?" she grumbles, taking out her phone for the umpteenth time to check if there was a text or call that will alleviate her foreboding feeling. It rests in the pit of her stomach, clawing up to her heart and makes every breath painful to breathe as she thinks of what she is truly doing. How walking through those doors painted a horrible off shade of yellow will change her dynamic with the sailor; possibly forever. "Fuck it... I'll go without the moppet."

I sound like Maddie, she decides as she gets out of her car and slams the door. The former girl always uses that word "Moppet" and a slew of other things Carmilla isn't trying to think of at the top of her head. Most of the time Maddie just sounds like a antediluvian wannabe but it's Carmilla's sister and yet again, who is she to judge? It was kinda cute, Carmilla thinks as she taps her foot against the pavement, her eyes pinned to the door of the ugly house. If her elder sister were here now she'd say something about sucking it up and doing what was right. Or perhaps she would go along the lines of being pragmatic and realizing right now that there was no helping Laura.

Yeah, because Carmilla would totally believe that.

She sighs deeply before taking in a breath, slightly placing her shoulders back, and finally walks toward the house. That is, however, until she hears a loud yell come from behind her. Carmilla turns quickly, not liking anyone to her back for long, before she relaxes and gives a glare to Betty as she pulls up in front of the marine's car. The officer parks sloppily, before she rolls up her window and gets out of her car.

The officer almost trips over herself as she gets caught on her seat belt strap, making her let out a curse so loud the marine is almost certain the entire street would be able to hear. It makes Carmilla snicker slightly before Betty comes running up, breathing heavily, and says, "Not used to those... Hey, cutie!" After seeing Carmilla's face she continues, "Okay, okay, I know I'm late. But getting the files on Sherman-"

"Who the frilly hell is Sherman?" Carmilla interjects. Where once she was looking over the house again, her leg propped on the first stoned step, her dark orbs were now looking down to Betty.

The woman shook the casefile up in the air before quirking her brow. "Sherman Hollis? I was as surprised as you are now to learn Todd is his middle name. I just thought Laura would have..."

"Told me," the marine finishes with a sigh. Her fingers raked through her hair slowly before she looks back to the house. This was not the time to think of how little Laura trusts her but rather how to help her. _Yes, because trusting and helping were so far removed from each other._ "Let's just get this over with."

Betty frantically tries to keep Carmilla's pace as they walk towards the door. All the while she's getting Carmilla up to date on who they were visiting. They hadn't had the time to go over it at the station since Carmilla bolted out the previous night after learning of a lead. "Her name is Elizabeth Cochrane, now a professor at at the Historic Beaufort Campus. She's renowned for her journalism class and they even let her class in at the historic art school because so many kids didn't want to commute. She's a pretty ballsy woman," Betty finishes as Carmilla knocks on the door.

"Sounds like such a stand-up gal," Carmilla responds, rolling her eyes before she stands at attention when the door opens suddenly.

In the doorway stands an average sized woman with a set of oval glasses on the bridge of her nose. Though she was older, one could tell she was a beautiful girl, and her bright brown eyes looks to and fro of the visitors. She wears her silver hair in a messy top knot and if Carmilla is sure, she reminds her of Aggie Cromwell from her favorite Halloween movie as a kid. Her attire is far off from the famed witch, however, and instead of a kaleidoscope of colors in dress form, she wears a fitted suit and tie. Her face shone one of surprise before she stepps the foot that was moving out of her house backwards.

Betty quickly interjects any unasked question on the woman's lips by saying, "Hi, Professor Cochrane! My name is Officer Spielsdorf and this is my friend Carmilla. We're here to ask you a few questions, if you've got the time of course."

Inquisitive eyes languidly moves back and forth from the two women as the professor folds her arms across her chest. She's about to deny them before Carmilla steps in quickly, "It's about Laura Hollis."

That sure seems to grab the professor's attention. The hand that was reaching for the doorknob flinches, a tell of her knowledge of the name, before she's looking to Carmilla. It's as if the air from Carmilla's lungs are sucked out as the woman looks at her, and without a word the professor ushers them inside with a flick of her arm. They both take it immediately, Betty a bit slower on the uptake, and they step into the modest, yet still ugly house. The furniture is at odds from the contemporary outside, and it takes Carmilla a moment to remember she has to be invited to sit down before she makes herself cozy on the 19th century looking armchair.

The elderly woman signifies them to sit down with another flick of her arm before she does the same in the armchair Carmilla wanted to curl herself in. The spot where she waves them is on an equally historic looking love couch, where the two dutifully sit without a word. Professor Cochrane finally speaks as they all get comfortable, "Tea?"

Carmilla almost bursts out laughing but stops herself with a hand on her lips. The question cut through the tension that they all are in so suddenly and quickly, it was far too funny to just overlook. Betty on the other hand begins stuttering about tea and why she can't have any. To save the officer any more embarrassment, Carmilla looks to the woman and says, "By how quickly you let us in the door, I think it's safe to say you remember Laura Hollis."

Cochrane grunts slightly, putting her index finger upon her cheek. "She's not dead. I read in the papers," she cuts herself off by giving a wink at Carmilla as if to say her idea of papers probably didn't involve the news, "-she's working at a clinic up on Pinckney. So what's Sherman done now?"

"Well aren't you astute," Carmilla replies as she looks to Betty. If anyone was looking directly at the marine, they could see the tightening of her jaw at the talk of Pinckney but alas.

The officer clears her throat, sitting the casefile on her lap in full view, before answering, "Assault and battery, resisting arrest, and... well..."

"Let's cut the crap," Carmilla intervenes. She moves to the edge of the couch, putting her hands together and looks to the professor. The marine points to the healing bruise on her cheek before saying, "This was caused by him. These were too." A brush over the knuckles and the wrap there was the only acknowledgement she gives her. "He's back and he's dangerous. Laura doesn't see that and nothing we tell her is making her step up and protect herself."

"And what do you want me to do about it?" The professor is mirroring Carmilla in another way by sitting far back on her armchair as if she is above everything that is happening in front of her. Her eyes are dancing back and forth from the two women on her couch, and she continues, "Back when that girl used to come to my classes, just to sit in mind you, with bruises on her arms and neck, I did my part. I called the police and you lot didn't do anything about it." Betty tries to interject but it only takes a look from Cochrane to silence her. "So what did I do? I tried to collect evidence. I took pictures when Laura wasn't looking to add to the file. I cased the house, even knocked on the door a few times but was never invited in even when Laura opened the door. Talked to that enormous girl-"

"Danny."

"Yes, that one." Cochrane looks to Carmilla, wondering if Laura has told her of Danny or if she knows her from somewhere else. They were both military, the professor can see it in the way Carmilla sits, but by automatically thinking they knew each other because they were on the same base was like thinking every lesbian knew every other lesbian around. Ludicrous, she quickly sums up, though by the way the dark haired girl is smirking, she can guess she knows her personally. "And after Laura found out about that, she stopped staying after class to talk one on one. Would just scurry out the back so she wouldn't have to talk to me about what I found."

"And what did you find," Carmilla asks.

A squint is aimed her way before the professor says, "Her father was abusing the poor duckie. Started drinking when the mother left for the Navy and just never came back home. I found postcards, once, in their trash. They were addressed to Laura, though I don't know which one of them threw them away. He was mostly quiet when Laura was away, but now that she's back, well, you can expect more of that in your future."

Carmilla winces slightly, scoffing after another moment before she gets up and crosses her arms. "How does he keep getting a slap on the wrist when it's way past his third strike?"

"He's been here a long time. Connections are rife when you've got an attitude worse than a gator at low tide."

The marine shakes her head, the strange saying going right over her, before she continues, "Well if you were to talk to Laura now-"

It was like a paradigm shift occurs in the household. The professor's body goes almost rigid, her once sympathetic stare turns hard and uncaring, and her brow quirks as her eyes zero in on Carmilla. "Is that why you came here? You think I'm going to _talk_ to that girl?"

"You tried to help before," Betty answers the rhetorical question before Carmilla can spew some unneeded comment.

"Yes and you've both seen how well that went for her and me."

Carmilla picks up on this and immediately asks, "What happened to her?"

Silence filters throughout the large room before Cochrane answers, almost sadly, "Laura was out of school for two months. The only reason I found out was because she stopped coming to the sit ins for my journalism class. The bastard fractured her sternum. Almost killed her. He talked to a few officers, tried to get me stripped of my tenure under stalking and criminal acts with a minor; tried to scare me into silence."

"And you still won't help..."

"Have you been listening to me, girl?" Professor Cochrane suddenly stands before she takes a step towards Carmilla. "My snooping is what made that man come this close to killing his own daughter. He's gone far from overprotective like he once was. And my advice to you both is to find another way to help Laura. If you go about it the way I did... You're going to get her killed."

There was a beat in the room before Carmilla says, "Well then I guess it's a good thing I never asked for your advice. Coming Bets?" The marine moves throughout the room, making her intention to leave very apparent, before she is stopped by the professor's hand on her upper arm. For an old lady, she's rather strong, and Carmilla glares at her but makes no attempt to break free.

"The best thing you can do for the little duck is to make a deal with Sherman and leave her alone. She's been this way for a long time, girl; and besides you're going back overseas soon aren't you? We all want to believe in white knights and happy endings, but you're not going to swoop in and suddenly be that for her. Think of Laura and not of yourself."

That's the last straw for Carmilla and she shakes the woman off her arm. "I am thinking of her," she almost spits before she walks towards the door and to Betty who has been waiting patiently there. "Thanks for that bountiful fountain of fucking help," the marine says before she opens the door and bolts out. Suddenly, she found, the house was too stuffy. She didn't know how harshly it was suffocating her until she breaks free outside and smells the air. Her hands fly to her knees as she bends slightly, trying with all her might to hold back the thoughts now cascading throughout her mind. She doesn't even wait for Betty, simply gets into her car and peels away from the curb, away from the officer, and away from the professor.

She's screaming in her car now. Banging her still crippled hand against the wheel as she does, wishing beyond belief there was someone she could injure or maim. She can't win. She just can't...

* * *

 

 

  _A small Carmilla and her brother Will played happily in their room on the second floor. There was a plethora of whoops and hollers as the children played with their animal toys, both uncaring of being too loud at all. The room they played in was seriously dated. A baseball glove laid at the end of the bed while the rest of the area looked like it had all the evidence of being a stereotypical boy's room. That didn't much bother Will or Carmilla at all, seeing as they had their handy dandy, and trusty, toys with them._

_"Hey, why do you always get the panther?" Will cried, trying to snatch the toy away from his sister._

_She snickered, moving a bit backwards, seeing as Will back then was so much shorter than her, and kept the toy out of reach. "Because I'm awesome and panthers are awesome. Get it?"_

_"Well," Will said, puffing out his cheeks and folding his arms, "then I'm going to call you kitty all the time!"_

_"That's not a bad thing, numbskull!"_

_The boy stuck out his tongue to his sister, making a disgusted noise at the back of his throat as he did, before Carmilla pulls at his cheek making both children fall over laughing at their antics. After getting up and playing a little more, Carmilla stretched her arms up and gave her brother the panther toy._

_"I'll make us some PB &J."_

_"With-"_

_"Yeah, yeah. With extra J." Carmilla waved her brother off before exiting the room and closing the door._

_She chuckled to herself as she moved down the darkened hallway and away from the room, wondering if she should tell him to be a little quieter. Of course, the little girl dismissed it as her hand went out to touch the railing while she traversed down the stairs. Her bare feet touched the cool of the linoleum and shivered slightly, forgetting how cold it was in the house since there was no heat during the time the kids were by themselves at home. Shaking it off, and by warming up her arms with the friction from her hands, little Carmilla traveled to the counter and stood on her tip toes. She was far too small to reach the counter fully, but by pulling a chair over she was able to get the bread and peanut butter._

_Hopping off, and remembering to put the chair back where it belonged, Carmilla rifled through the fridge in search for the jelly. Finding it, the girl closed the fridge with the heel of her foot, got a butter knife, and placed all the ingredients down on the table. They didn't have napkins anymore, and the children were forbidden to use any of the dishware when not supervised, so there the little girl was, making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the faux wooden table. She was humming to herself, some song she heard on the TV or something, when she began to put away the ingredients after finishing their sandwiches._

_Just as she was about to grab the four slices of bread, her eyes widened as she heard the door bang closed and lumbering footsteps coming directly toward the kitchen. Quickly looking around, she stuffed the PB &J's into the garbage, rummaging around so they weren't on top, before bolting to the table and hiding the butter knife behind her back. She had just straightened when a large man came into view, his work gear making him seem as if he worked construction or something not far from that. His eyes narrowed as he saw the little girl before he let his tool box slam onto the ground._

_"What the hell are you doing in here?" he growled._

_Carmilla, who was trying to make her breathing as evened as possible, stammered out, "I-I had to do an assignment for school. I thought we mi-ight have food coloring and cornstarch-"_

_"I didn't hear nothin' from your teacher about no damn assignment."_

_You wouldn't if you never go to class, Carmilla thought but held her tongue. Something she had learned to do rather easily in this household._

_"Whatever. Git now," the man said, coming into the kitchen. He didn't seem to notice Carmilla was keeping her front towards him, though he did notice that when she got to the stairs she seemed to breathe a bit easier. They both were, it seemed, before the man's body bolted up from the fridge and his beer when he heard a rather loud singing voice coming from upstairs. "What the hell!"_

_"It's nothing, I'll get-" Carmilla tried to cry but was too late. The man was already smacking her in the face as he clambered up the stairs. Her tiny body was flung into the wall hard and it took her a moment to regain her sight. When she did, she bolted to her feet and ran up the stairs._

_It wasn't hard to find where the commotion was coming from. Little Carmilla ran to the room they were playing in, witnessing her brother being thrown across the room and his face hitting the dresser. Whatever the man was yelling was muffled in Carmilla's ears, and a more prominent ring made itself resident in her head. Dark locks bounced as her head moved toward the man, he getting closer to her brother now, before she felt her feet moving across the carpet._

_"Stop it!" she screamed, running towards the man. She grunted as she slammed into him, her head resting on his lower back, before silence fell onto the room. Her brother wasn't moving, that's the first thing Carmilla saw when she opened her eyes. The second, however, was a dark, lurid thing stretching from the man's side up to where Carmilla laid her head. She cried out, letting go of the handle of the knife she had accidentally plunged into the man's abdomen. Her butt hit the floor hard and she tried to move her feet to scramble away._

_There was no reason to, she found, as the man coughed for a moment, huffing out a breath, before sitting on the bed. His brown orbs glared at Carmilla as if he could see into her very soul, and he watched as the girl slowly crawled toward her brother. He watched as the older sister situated her brother and barely was able to carry him out of the room. He heard that disgusting child's voice one last time as she began shouting, barefoot and crying, for someone to help her as she got outside._

_If anyone would remind Carmilla of this day, not that she didn't think of it constantly, the woman would say the heat hit her face like a ton of steel bricks. She would relent how, when she left her first foster house, she had thought she killed the man that took them in and offered safety. But one of the things she would always tell them... was of how she met her mother at the clinic she took her brother to. And of how their life... for a time... became so much better._

* * *

 

 

LaF and Perry were getting into it again. This is the reason Laura has left their house, keeping all of the evidence over there just in case, and trudges back to her home. LaF just had to mention their deployment in a couple weeks, which sparked Perry on a rampage, and then in turn caused LaF to try to calm their wife. To no avail, of course, and here Laura is: sitting at home, on her couch, with her head pointed toward the ceiling. She can understand why Perry would be so upset about LaFontaine's eagerness to get back on their feet, and far away from their family- to a point-, which is another reason she just left instead of staying to help their argument. If two people fought against her, Perry was sure to have a complete meltdown. Laura doesn't want that, of course, and so instead she resigns herself to sad sighs and ruminate of where the woman she betrayed is at.

She doesn't have to wonder for long. The woman is sitting for no more than five minutes before she hears her doorbell chime before two consecutive knocks. Her heart quickens, her breathing becoming shallow as she recognizes Carmilla's signature. How lame is that, she thinks as she hops from the couch immediately and goes to the door. When she opens it, she's not sure what she thought she would find, but it's not what she sees. Carmilla is disheveled. She doesn't look bad, but she doesn't look like she had the best day of her life either. It takes Laura off guard for a moment before she snaps herself back to reality.

"Carm..."

"Want to go for a ride, cutie?" Carmilla's sultry voice echoes out, though it was rough as if she has been crying, punctuated by a helmet being given to Laura.

Of course she takes it, putting it on her head and thanking past Laura for not taking off her shoes as she walks outside, following behind Carmilla. She expects the bike and that is what she gets, the shining chrome at odds against the darkness of the night surrounding them. Laura realises now that she has been over at LaF's house all day reading up on Carmilla's brother... Betraying Carmilla for an entire day. And here she is, choosing to go on a bike ride with the woman instead of dragging her into her house and confessing her secrets.

The girl shakes such thoughts from her mind before swinging her leg over the bike, looking to Carmilla's back. What she means to ask is, "Where are we going?" but what comes out is, "Is it okay?"

The marine looks back slightly, her eyes flashing to Laura's inquisitory hands around her midsection, before a slight nod of the head gives Laura the consent she is asking for. Carmilla cannot stand the look on Laura's face as her eyes light up, and before she can say anything about it, she's already turning over the engine and getting on the road. She will not tell Laura the reason for her dishevelment. She will not tell Laura that she spent half of the day at the firing range trying to get out her frustration and anger. She refuses to tell Laura of her betrayal that morning and of her findings. No, she will not tell Laura any of this and instead they ride in relative silence throughout the dark streets of Beaufort. 

They ride past the closed video store and the trailer parks, giving them slight glances as they do. They continue until they are over the bridge and far away from the Beaufort Air Station and Paris Island, and driving the long road that leads to... so many different paths. It would take far too long to drive to the mountains Carmilla has already decided, and instead she takes her to the next best thing she can think of: a secret trail that leads to-

Laura's eyes are alight as she breathes a sigh of relief. They have been driving through the cramped brush for quite some time now, and finally they have come to a clearing. A clearing that looks over Beaufort itself and the ocean. The full moon is in the sky, sparkling over the shimmering water, and Laura has to catch herself or she was going to fall off the bike in awe. When Carmilla parks, she almost throws herself off, unclasping her fingers quickly from Carmilla's midsection and darting off towards the edge of the cliff they are now on. It's so beautiful up here, Laura thinks as she runs a hand through her hair, marveling over all of it.

Carmilla saunters over to her, quiet with her eyes averted. Laura doesn't seem to notice and instead excitedly asks, "How did you find this place?"

A stammering response comes, "I-I was finding a good trail to hike and here this was. Not many hills this big around here."

"You've got that right! Oh my gosh, Carm, this is so beautiful."

"I'll say," the marine says quietly. She's looking at Laura, not the view, though she doubts the sailor would notice. It's hard looking at her like this, an itch in Carmilla's chest that begs for physical attachment but another part of her screams to hold back. You've betrayed her, you're still betraying her, it screams. How dare you do this to her. You don't deserve this. You don't deserve her...

Laura is going through the same. While her eyes are pinned on the ocean, a smile on her lips, she is still thinking of what she has gotten herself into from the day. How she wants to kiss Carmilla here and now and yet she's betrayed her trust so completely. How was she going to apologize? How was she going to make all of this right? And Carmilla doesn't even know!

"Laura?"

The sailor pulls herself from her thoughts as she looks to Carmilla, that same stupid mesmerized grin still on her face. If Carmilla would say, that is the grin that makes her body disobey her and move in closer. It's the way Laura tenses that causes Carmilla's hand to play in the sailor's hair, their breath beginning to synchronize.

"Carm, I-" Laura tries to say, but is silenced by a soft cooing 'shh'. It makes her close her eyes, allowing her body to sway with Carmilla's as they dance there. This beautiful view and all they care about is each other. Laura is sure to add this to her journal... if she had one anyways.

Carmilla's brow furrows for a moment, the final attempt her mind can muster to tell her to turn back, turn away from the girl that she does not deserve, but she refuses. Instead she finally, slowly, brushes her lips against Laura's in a physical question of consent. It is returned, answered in full, as Laura's hands bolt upward and around Carmilla's head, pulling her in closer to accept the invitation. The kiss seems to go on forever, soft interludes of breathing and small hitches of giggles before they joined again, their love working in synch. Tongue, soft nips from Carmilla's teeth making Laura's heart explode with a lot more than just affection.

She has betrayed Carmilla. She still is at this very moment, her selfishness encompassing her fully so she may receive what she has been craving for the many months now. The one thing she didn't know, however... was that Carmilla was betraying her too. Now didn't that just make them a pair in Hell, she would wonder if she knew. But the selfish, blissful, naive girl did not. All she knew, all she cares about in this moment, is Carmilla's soft lips on hers and how it is like fire in her chest.

If this was so wrong, Laura thinks, then she is ready to burn with the woman she loves. For now, and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should tell you guys that I haven't heard from Steph in quite some time. It's another reason why I stopped working on this chapter months ago. This chapter was not beta-ed in any way, and I don't know when another is going to come. This was her baby and I don't feel comfortable continuing it without her. So, to that end, I have to tell you guys that I have no idea when this will be updated again. Thank you all for sticking in for this long, and please help me send some love and warm thoughts to Steph, wherever she may be.


	12. Sweet Dispositions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex and sex and MORE SEX, and oh... betrayals too.
> 
>  
> 
> Written by Steph (Wondersnatch-hi-have-we-met.tumblr.com) and myself (Leonard-Cohen-the-Second).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet Dispositions by The Temper Trap~
> 
>  
> 
> MY BABY IS BACK!!! I am so glad to announce that Steph is back in the game. She's been working extremely hard in the horrible real world, and she's worked even harder to bring you this chapter so quickly. Thank you everyone who gave warm wishes for her safe return to us- because not even I knew if everything was okay- and I really hope you enjoy this chapter.
> 
> Steph: let's play a game of, let's spot the buffy references :D

**June 29th**

**2300**

**23 miles outside Beaufort** **,**  
**Beaufort County, South Carolina**

 

Laura is the first to pull back, though she keeps her hands loosely tangled in the marine’s dark hair. Her first reaction, oddly enough, is to laugh. “Why did you wait this long to do that?”

“Seriously? You’re not exactly Miss Comprehensible Signals, Hollis.”

“Don’t lie to me, _Karnstein._ I can see through your tough marine ‘I stood in freezing water for 2 hours without moving’ attitude,” Laura jokes, and poorly attempts to mimic the marine’s low tone.

Carmilla rolls her eyes and sighs in a manner that screams: _‘I’m in love with this idiot and I’m really pissed off about it’._ “I don’t have- whatever, but why did _I_ have to initiate it?”

Laura moves her hair behind her ear. She shrugs lightly and stumbles over her words, “B-because, that’s just how it is.” _Ugh, why do I feel like a school girl? It was just a kiss. Get back in the game._

“Right, so let me guess, I’ll be the one driving you home and asking you to come up for coffee?” _Wow, Karnstein, that was a little forward. Even for you._

“Well we did come here with _your_ motorcycle, and –“ Laura pauses mid-sentence, the meaning hidden behind Carmilla’s not to subtle question hitting her like a brick. Try as she might, her cheeks flush cherry red even without her consent. She isn't going to let the marine get away with this, and naturally, Laura just has to use her best come-hitter voice to fluster her effectively, “I’d love to have _coffee_ with you Carm.” Laura’s smirk was a mix between evil and seductive, though Carmilla can argue that right now that they’re synonyms.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Carmilla would deny, eternally, that the swear word didn’t come out because Laura breathed a seemingly innocent and bland sentence against her lips, while her hands were still around her. That was a total coincidence.

Carmilla stands up abruptly and threw the helmet at Laura – who catches it with an ‘ooff’. She hears her laugh, but as Carmilla felt like a rabbit during mating season, this isn't no damn time to be laughing. No joke, the only words in her head are primal versions of ‘you, me, bed’.

They quickly jump on the bike and left, leaving a cloud of dust where they had been standing just a few moments ago. Speeding limits are reached, and then surpassed.

 _Mission accomplished. Marine successfully flustered._ Laura beams from her position behind the woman driving like Mad Max en route to Valhalla. 

* * *

 

When Laura gazes upwards into Carmilla’s shimmering brown eyes, she wonders how in the hell they both got to her apartment in one piece. Much less was known about the whereabouts of their clothing and who exactly had thrown whom on her bed.

Much to Carmilla’s surprise, Laura had let her hands roam her body apprehensively. The soft and nervous touches causing a gentle smile to appear on Laura’s face as she brings both of her hands up to caress the woman’s cheeks.

It was in that exact moment that Laura understands how personalities becomes not only void during intimacy, but also useless. She feels, without a single doubt, the comforting absence of fear; fear of being completely unravelled in front of someone’s eyes, no filters, no walls and certainly no bravado. It used to scare her, _should_ scare her. Yet, when Carmilla’s tongue licks its way into her mouth and her fingers find her center, Laura Hollis feels safe, and most importantly, _loved_.

And so, Carmilla _loves_  Laura to a first orgasm, and continues loving her for a few more until Laura aggressively switches their position to take matters into her own hands. Or rather, to take Carmilla into her own hands.

Their eyes lock as Laura’s fingers strokes Carmilla; she enjoys every second of the lustful gaze being directed at her and the way Carmilla's jaw sets during her quick intakes of air. The way she releases it in a languid and stretched out moan. The most important, however, is feeling the erratic rise and fall of Carmilla’s chest against her as her fingers works her faster.

Laura is in awe of the way the marine responds to her touches, intoxicated even. She  ubderstands how someone can get addicted to this. Not to sex per say, as Laura had her share of pleasuring the ladies, but sex with a purpose other than plain old pleasure. A purpose to fortify a relationship and bring two distinct individuals that much closer together – both literal and not.

If she could describe it, it would have been something along the lines of getting your breath taken away and then realizing you didn’t even need it in the first place.

When Carmilla’s whole body arches into hers, Laura responds by craning her head down and capturing Carmilla’s satisfied sighs into her mouth. She forgets to breathe for a moment, to finally take in air when she feels the body under hers tremble and then slowly she pulls away.

Minutes pass, both women slowly come down from their high. When they do, Laura is the first to speak, “I-“ she pauses, a frown settling itself on her brow. She found herself uncertain how to act and how to feel even though everything is crystal clear. “Thank you,” is really the only thing she can think of.

“You’re welcome?” Carmilla answers with a smirk and a raised brow. _What a weirdo…A beautiful weirdo,_ she concludes quickly.

“I mean, for showing me that intimacy isn’t about control.” Laura makes a move to roll off of the woman, but Carmilla is quick to stop her. Laura shrugs and settles herself comfortably against the marine. The beating of Carmilla's heart is loud in Laura's ear, and she smiles as she listens for a moment. “That it’s really about feeling, and letting feel. That’s it’s not just take, take and take some more when you feel like it.”

She chuckles. “Congrats, young Padawan, you’re now a full-fledged Jedi.”

Even though Laura appreciates the accurate Star Wars reference, it isn't the best timing. “I’m serious, Carm.” She's confused as to how the marine is able to share something so vulnerable with her only to bring her walls back up immediately after.

“I know.” Carmilla raises her hand to wipe away a lonely tear on Laura’s cheek. She kept her hand there and lovingly strokes the skin beneath with the back of her fingers. “I get you, Laura.” She has never been scared of intimacy, but Carmilla often needs time to figure out her feelings. Jokes came in handy as they act as a sort of interlude – the calm before the storm.

 _She always did get me, more than I understand myself sometimes._ “It’s just…It never was like this with Da- with _anyone._ ” Laura mentally kicks herself for almost dropping the D-word. _Dodged that bullet._

“You don’t have to explain, Laura, and I won’t get mad if you mention the ginger.”

“I wasn’t-“ her rebuke is cut off by Carmilla’s firm eyebrow raise and a ‘don’t bullshit me’ look. “Sorry, it’s just; she’s the closest thing that I had to an actual recent relationship, _if_ you can even call it that.”

”How recent?” Carmilla asks tentatively; comparable to a child tip-toeing in the kitchen at night to eat forbidden treats.

Laura chuckles, the verbal confirmation of Carmilla's protectiveness amusing her. “Didn’t you just say you didn’t care?” she asks as she teasingly nips the skin just below Carmilla’s collar bone.

“I said I wouldn’t get mad, cupcake. Where are you listening skills?”

Laura rolls her eyes, “Danny and I haven’t…been together since you and I became friends.” The answer seems satisfactory, as Carmilla presses no further and begins to thread her fingers through Laura’s brown locks lightly.

It didn't bother the marine, at least not in a jealous-over protective kind of way. She just can't see Danny as her competition or even a threat since she always liked the tall sailor (much to everyone’s surprise). But more than that, she trusts Laura and that should always be enough.

Though that thought alone brings dread to the actions she took against Laura’s manipulative father behind her back. Carmilla attempts to make herself feel better about her reasoning by believing the end result was going to help Laura, and thus her betrayal will seem minimal and would be disregarded entirely. It was hope more than belief really.

After a few blissfully quiet moments pass and Carmilla bends down to kiss the sailor’s head before she sits up in bed.

Laura’s groan of protest stirs a chuckle from Carmilla. “Where are you going?” the corpsman asks, opening one eye as she stares unabashed at the naked body in front of her.

“Shower.” Carmilla stretches her arms high above her head, like a cat who had just taken a long nap. “You coming?”

Laura has two options here: she can continue to selfishly enjoy this moment or torment herself with how she had snooped into Carmilla’s life without her consent. The choice isn't too hard to make in the end.

Laura bolts out of the bed without looking back once. “I’ll race you there!”

 _Dork._ At this point, Carmilla decides her competitive spirit wasn’t enough to make her move faster this time. A decision, which of course, isn't at all swayed because her legs are still a little wobbly and she finds questionable pleasure in watching a naked Laura run down a hall. Nope. Not at all.

* * *

 

“I’m not asking you to understand, I’m just asking you to support me,” Laf explains as they stuff the remainder of their clothes in their duffle bag and zip it closed.

“Y-You’re such a hard head!” the young mother practically yells.

“Keep it down, Jamie’s sleeping,” they promptly receives glare from their other half for the comment. “I’m fine, Perr,” Lafontaine insists.

“You’re still limping!” Perry whispers incredulously. _Where is your head these days?_

“It’s just a little sore, I limp way more after leg day,” Laf tries to wave it off, and truly nothing was wrong. The wound stings a little bit and they aren't going to run the marathon anytime soon, but they are just itching to go back to work and nothing short of a nuclear explosion can stop them.

“Lafontaine, this is serious. What if you get hurt again and no one’s there to help? Isn’t my pain worth anything to you? Or are you just so selfish that you don’t even care about your family?” Perry knew her words aren't been fair, but she desperately needs Lafontaine to understand what she feels. They were once so in sync. She _needs_ them and she was growing quickly exhausted, continuously fighting anger and sadness.

Laf set their jaw and frowns deeply. W _hat happened to us?_ “Woah I’m the one who’s selfish? You keep bringing up this family to make me feel bad for going to work and putting food in that damn fridge!”

Perry lets out a deep sigh as she takes a seat down on the couch, by the marine’s luggage. She wraps her arms around herself; the expression on her face looking almost void, like there is no fight in her left. What was the point? “An empty stomach is manageable at least. Being away from you is far worse.”

Tears threaten to spill over at the corner of their eyes. “Perr…” _Am I that bad of a parent…that bad of a spouse?_

The baby monitor crackles to life, interrupting their heated discussion. Perry swallows thickly, her feelings spoken out loud made them that much more real and hurt her even further. “If you don’t make a choice soon, I’ll choose for you.” She turns her back to Lafontaine, hiding the tears that had fallen on her face, and rushes to Jamie’s room.

 _Will they ever see eye to eye on this issue?_ Laf muses sadly. Perry’s word cut into them like a burning knife, yet they still are unwilling to show it. Continuously burying the issue by working themselves to death, almost literally, certainly isnèt going to bring them closer to solving it.

There is great pressure in having to choose between two things we love dearly. No one can ever have both at the same time, as trying would no doubt entail the destruction of either of those things.

Clearly, Perry has come to this same conclusion and she believes an ultimatum would stir up Lafontaine into making a decision. Hopefully, they would make right one, which  also includes Perry and Jamie in the marine’s life.

* * *

 

**July 2nd**

**0700**  
**Beaufort airport,**  
**Beaufort County, South Carolina**

 

Laura dumps her very heavy backpack at her feet and takes a seat at one of the endless rows' plastic benches. A seven month duty tour awaits them in just a few short days. Their flight is usually scheduled for layover in Libya for the night, before they jet off to their final destination the next morning.

Carmilla follows suit and took a seat next to her. “Hello 18 hour flight, you old dog. Haven’t missed you at all.”

Laura shrugs as a relaxed smile appears on her face. A relaxed attitude that is shared between them both. “I see it has 9 hours twice.”

Carmilla leans back on the seat and casually throws her arm behind her and Laura’s chair. Her legs are spread apart to complete the lazy and slouched look. “Aren’t you the optimist, cupcake?”

Laura beams brightly. “Don’t you know it?” She advances towards the marine slightly, only to jerk back to her initial position as a familiar voice interrupts them. She bit her lip not to smile back in response to Carmilla’s annoyed curse.

“Holy shit you two are still disgustingly cute, even from a distance,” Betty calls out without any reservation, as she saunters over to them with Danny, Lafontaine and Perry following close behind. It almost looks comical, how the whole group's backpacks and duffel bags are piled Lafontaine’s back – who still keeps a smile amongst a very sweaty face.

Carmilla rolls her eyes at the officer’s comment. _Why does every goddamn person here have shitty timing?_ “I’m gettin’ a coffee. _Anyone_ want anything?” She emphasizes the word, and points a glare at Betty as a sort of challenge to try and single out her and Laura in another unnecessary comment.

“Oh Carm, can you get me a machiatto?” Laura asks and leans forward on her seat. Her feet kick underneath the bench jovially, like a child who had ordered and impatiently waited for a McDonald’s happy meal. Work was good, Laura thinks. Their minds will be occupied and far away from the mess that happened during their time off duty. Work was exactly what Laura needs - or so she thinks.

“Sure thing,” Carmilla answers without missing a beat.

“Make it two coffees,” Danny interjects with Betty who nods in agreement beside her. The tall sailor raised an eyebrow at her. “You already had three this morning.”

“Didn’t you know cops are made up of 77% coffee? This ain’t blood in my veins, sweetie.”

Danny chuckles and shakes her head. _Dumbass._

Lafontaine and Perry both pass up on the offer and point to their protein shake in hand.

“Get it yourselves,” Carmilla replies and stands up. Lawrence gives her a dirty look, though it was one that feigned innocence and the marine knows it all too well. Carmilla fights back the smirk waiting to spread on her lips, but manages to keep a neutral expression. “What? I simply asked. I didn’t say I was going to get anything for you lot.”

Danny isn't as successful in keeping the grin off of her lips. “You are the biggest asshole I’ve ever called a friend.”

“And you’re the tallest asshole, I begrudgingly say I have a fondness for. Now we’re even.”

Lafontaine chokes on their chocolaty protein as Danny replies with raising her two middle fingers at the woman.

“Walk with me, Lawrence, let’s talk it out,” Carmilla teases with a wink.

Danny accepts, and they both make their way to the nearest Starbucks where they engage in a playful scuffle that ends with Danny carrying Carmilla on her shoulder the rest of the way there. It amazes them all that Carmilla doesn't drop the drinks in either hand, even with her strange and warped position on Danny's shoulders.

When they comeback with the orders, they seem to be behaving but the look on their faces tells a different story. Approximately 23 minutes of banter and caffeine sipping later, they are called to board the Boeing plane.

Carmilla turns to Laura and whispers close to her ear, though her eyes are glued on their friends. “We should let the gingers and giraffe couples have their moment,” she nods at the four concerned people, who were exchanging heartfelt goodbyes.

“Carmilla!” Laura swats the woman’s arm, but nonetheless burst into laughter. She however, wholeheartedly agrees, and actually feels a little out of place. It's hypocritical of both women, however, as she and Carmilla could be having this exact conversation if their circumstances were different.

They still haven't talked about any sort of commitment. Laura’s admission and Carmilla’s reciprocity had been clear enough for both of them to understand feelings were at play – which also sort of meant commitment. A word that used to make Laura want to vomit profusely and then run the opposite direction without looking back once as if she would have turned to stone instantly. Surprisingly enough, the concept of it with Carmilla didn't scare her at all. It felt like natural progression that couldn’t stop even if she tried. So, she stopped trying.

At least, she didn’t have a panic attack yet so that’s was an improvement.

Tears are shed, hugs are shared, and jokes are made at their expense, by none other than Carmilla, before they board the plane. Unfortunately, they are all scattered to different rows when they enter the plane. Some had more luck than others in getting a comfortable window seats, while poor Laura was stuck in between two very large men. Carmilla offers to take her seat, but Laura thought no one deserves this unlawful punishment. So, she spends most of the trip standing up and continuously moves between Carmilla, Lafontaine and Danny’s rows for conversational purposes.

When Laura looks five seconds away from going completely stir crazy – and probably start doing yoga poses in the aisles, Carmilla so gallantly introduces her to the mile high club (because, hey, no one should be able to see her handstand split other than Carmilla).

It was when Laura’s legs are latched around the marine’s waist, and Carmilla’s mouth was in turn latched to her neck, and a hand presses into the mirror behind Laura while her other hand is otherwise occupied, that Carmilla realizes that home was a person and not a place.

Getting lifelong questions answered, while being knuckle deep in your sort of girlfriend brings some sense to the phrase: deep thoughts come from deep places.

Safe to say that Carmilla laughs while Laura orgasms, quite loudly. The look on the flight attendants faces when they came out proves without a doubt Laura is indeed a screamer. Carmilla burst into laughter. The sailor attempts to hit the woman to persuade her to stop laughing, which did work after a while.

Though, thankfully, Laura is so spent after the washroom fumble and tumble that she actually manages to fall asleep between the two snoring boulders. The rest of the trip is but a blissful blur.

 _T’was a good decision indeed, Corporal Karnstein, is_ Carmilla’s smug thought, before she too succumbs to sleep’s persistent call.

* * *

 

**July 2nd**

**1600**  
**Tripoli** **, Libya**

 

The group find themselves passing through the crowded and narrow streets of Tripoli’s medina; the old part of town with vendor tables set every two feet and gorgeous architecture surrounding them.

Lafontaine buys a few nick knacks for Perry, as is their routine, while the others simply browse and enjoys the area. Though they didn’t stretch out their stay, as the sun starts to set and they all fell exhausted from the trip (even if they slept the whole way).

They exchange good nights and retreat to their own rooms with one goal in mind: sleeping. Except one individual who pads out of her room with a menacing look on her face just like the Grinch before he stole Christmas, as she makes her way to Carmilla’s front door. She is soon pulled in, stripped of her clothes and found underneath a very naked marine.

“Hi,” Laura greets with a chuckle.

“Hey yourself,” Carmilla replies with a smirk of her own.

Laura leans in and they waste no time in continuing to explore each other’s bodies; the queen sized bed proves to be a heck of alot more spacious than a 4 x 4 airline washroom.

Hours pass, leaving both women spent and satisfied. Carmilla lays on her stomach with Laura half on top of her, one arm is tucked underneath the marine’s chest, the other one is tracing patterns around Carmilla’s back and shoulder. Laura occasionally lays kisses on the surprisingly numerous scars she finds marked into her otherwise smooth skin.

Laura wants to ask, though instead she bites her lip and contemplates how to go about bringing it up. Though, she didn’t exactly have a great track record with asking hard questions and Carmilla never once spoke about her personal life, except for her family, and even then she continuously omitts one person in particular.

“I know you want to know about Will.”

 _Why yes, Carm, enough to go behind your back. God, way to go Hollis. Couldn’t you have found out the old fashion way? Of course not! You snoopy little…_ “You don’t have to, Carm. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“No, I want to.” Carmilla cranes her head slightly and catches a glimpse of Laura’s face. She's certain, then, that she's the only one she can talk about it with. “With you.”

Laura feels her heart swell up – Carmilla seems so innocent and small; which is unusual compared to her default commanding and tough presence. She doesn't reply, and instead curls up into the Carmilla’s side further and then lays her cheek on the back of her shoulder.

“We jumped from foster home to foster home, most of them were verbally abusive or too drunk to care. But, luck was never really on our side, we got the worst of them. He was physically abusive to both of us for a long time, but I’d never let that fucker touch Will, even if that meant I would get the worst of it.” Carmilla feels Laura hug her tightly, though she isn't sure whether it was for her benefit or Laura’s. “Broken bones, burns, _deep cuts_ ,” she emphasizes, as Laura kisses a scar that had been caused by one of her foster father’s violent outburst. “You name it, I survived it.

“The night that – He wasn’t worse or more violent than usual you know?” Sadly, she knows Laura will understand. She feels  Laura's hair tickle her shoulder as she moves her head to nod. “It’s just the way it happened. Luck, I guess, or more like a lack of it. He wasn’t moving and I had a knife and I freaked out-“ Carmilla’s voice trembles, her words getting stuck in her throat.

“Carm, It’s alright,” she attempts to reassure the woman by rubbing her back. Yet Carmilla stands up unexpectedly; laura never saw her this aggitated “I’m here,” she reassures with more feather light kisses as she sits on the side of the bed and tries to catch Carmilla's swaying arms.

“No it’s not, Laura. I’m telling you I might have killed a man for no fucking reason!” _I should have went back – I should have went back…_ was continuously repeating itself in her head.

“It was self-defense! It’s not like you had a choice.” Laura can now see why the marine was so protective when it came to her safety, especially on the iffy subject of Todd. They both have suffered through the same physical and mental pain, yet they came out extremely different. Why was that, Laura muses to herself quietly.

 _Why was she relaxed where I’m a complete mess? How can she open herself physically when that freedom had too been taken from her?_ Laura hopes that one day, it will be revealed to her. And on that day, she would let go of everything. That's a promise to herself.

The marine takes a seat on the edge of the bed, looking at the carpet bellow her feet as she attempts to get her breathing even. “Yeah…I did have a choice. I could have taken Will out of that fucking house before anything like that happened. We were left alone all day, couldn't even go into the fucking kitchen when that bastard was gone,” Carmilla continues, scoffing in between words she found particularly, and miserably, funny. “I had every chance to get Will out of there. Every chance.”

“God, Carmilla, you were just a kid, how were you supposed to know?” She moves, tentatively, to Carmilla’s side and places a hand on her tight shoulder. “So, you don’t know where Will is?” Laura asks as she wraps her other arm around Carmilla’s midsection and lays more kisses on her shoulder.

Carmilla frowns deeply, Laura's words hitting her like a truck. Words that she shouldn't have had any knowledge of. She thinks that perhaps someone had slipped up about it when Laura had dinner at her house, but nothing rings any bells. Besides, her foster family are usually extremely discreet with this part of her life. “Did my cousins - How would you know he’s missing? I never…”

 _Shit._ Laura’s stomach sinks more dramatically than the Titanic. _Oh, God_. “Carm I’m sorry I just-“ Laura attempts to save herself, but Carmilla is quick to interrupt her.

“You just what Laura?” she asks through gritted teeth.

“I wanted to know and I was scared to ask,” she admits sadly and removes her hand from Carmilla’s shoulder as the look of warning she receives is enough to make her take a step back. Yet it isn’t anger or rage she sees, only hurt and disappointment.

“So you took that as a free pass to what? To play detective? You could have just asked, or better yet, you could have waited. You know I would have told you.”

 _Yep, definitely hurt. Fuck me._ “I wanted to help Carm, I want to help. If you think he’s still alive then why aren’t we looking? We could-”

“This isn’t your fight, Laura, there is no _‘we’_. You don’t and can’t understand what’s at stake here.” Carmilla moves around the room while she's talking and throws on her discarded clothing. She needs space, and she needs it now.

Finding Will is still and will always be her primary goal, but something about it tells her if she hasn’t found him yet, it’s probably because he doesn’t want to be found. On the flip side of things, what if she finds that bastard instead? Carmilla didn’t trust herself nearly enough not to kill him for good this time around. If Will was…there was no way anyone could keep this satisfaction from her.

“Are you seriously telling me I can’t understand abuse, because that’s some righteous bullshit, Carmilla Karnstein!”

“Maybe it is the same, cupcake, but the situation isn’t. It’s my fight.” Once Carmilla is fully clothed, she grasps the door knob in her hand and turns towards Laura. “Word of advice: when someone keeps parts of their lives to themselves, it’s usually for a good reason. And instead of playing detective, you should keep your nose out of it!” Her words resound like a dark echo in the quiet room which is followed by a slamming door and silence – though it hung thick in the air.

 _What the fuck just happened?_ Laura thinks as she falls back onto the bed in a heap- a mess, just like her emotions – and lets out a deep breath. Maybe Carmilla wasn’t truly ready to talk about it, which reinforces Laura’s need to help her find Will. Whether he was alive or not, Carmilla clearly needs closure and Laura desperately wants to help her.

Laura falls asleep, though not without worry about Carmilla’s whereabouts. Somewhere during her slumber, she feels the bed dip down a few times, and then warmth envelops her from behind. Breath tickles the fine hairs on the nape of her neck, and even if curiosity is whispering for her to look who it is, the familiar smell invokes comfort and trust so she quickly falls right back asleep knowing who the two strong arms around her midsection belong to.

Morning causes both women to rouse from their slumber, with clearer heads and a deeper understanding of each other. Laura rolls towards Carmilla, who’s already looking at her with half hooded eyes. She appears rested, which tells the sailor that Carmilla hadn’t gone too far last night.

“You came back,” Laura smiles weakly.

“It’s not like I was going to sleep outside,” she jokes, though she notices Laura’s demeanour immediately and feels like dirt for leaving without settling things. “I’m sorry I freaked out, when I said I never talked about this to anyone, I was serious.''

“It still hurts you, I understand Carm. But when you’re ready to let me in here,” she pokes the woman’s breast right over her heart, “I’ll be here.”

Carmilla fights back the emotions wanting to cascade out, because of course Laura Hollis would be the one to make her cry with such a dorky comment. She hugs the woman to her, probably a little too tightly, and kisses the top of her head. “You really don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“You didn’t either,” Laura chuckles at the marine’s enthused embrace. She didn’t mind though, a girl definitely could get used to feeling safe like this all the time. Fairy tales sort of had a point after all.

“True.”

They remain still for a while, breathing in the comfort that their closeness brings them.

Laura takes a deep breath, as if separating herself from Carmilla was comparable to getting her soul ripped from heaven. She pulls back and captures her lips in a quick peck. “Do you think Laf and Danny already devoured half of the breakfast buffet by now?”

“If they didn’t, we’ll help them finish,” Carmilla retorts with a wink.

“I _love_ that plan.”

The process of dressing themselves was drawn out because _someone_ decided it would be a good idea to engage in a wrestling match and _someone else_ decided it should end with tickling, and then innocent kisses and then…well you know.

Laura’s ever hungry libido scrares her; the more Carmilla gives, the more she wants craves. Though, she’s happy the feeling is absolutely mutual. It's  interesting, however, that Carmilla didn't take off her shirt for their little tussle. Laura wonders about this for a moment, seeing the marine breathe out a bit more slowly when she bends down to get her shoes on, but her medical brain is far from turned on at the moment. So, she let it go. What was the worse that could happen? Maybe she just reads too much into things.

* * *

 

  **July 3rd**

 **1300**  
**Qatar Air Base, Region of Qatar**

 

“Welcome back, girls, boys, and oh so sparkly undefined's,” the general greets his unit at the southwest hangar with a smile; all crooked lip and teasing as usual as he gives them a once over. “Do me a favor, get out of them goddamn civi clothes and put some fucking camo on ya bodies,” he pauses and grits his teeth together. “Ya look like shit.”

He then looks down at his watch and belts out, “Be in the brief room in 19 minutes. Not more, not less. Git git!” He dismisses them with a loud chuckle and leisurely hops in the jeep waiting for him.

“Roger that, sir,” Carmilla chuckles as she throws her button up over her shoulder. _Damn that heat._ She glances over to Laura, who also seems uncomfortable in her clothes. She smiles warmly at her.

Their argument ended on a bad note, though as the sun filtered through the blinds, Carmilla woke up with a forgiving heart and a relaxed attitude. They settled their frustrations and agreed to leave it all behind them until Carmilla was ready to go forward with anything regarding her brother. It didn't really bother her that Laura would never know of the mess she put herself in after she left the room, needing to get her frustrations out. But it was for a different time, and she was sure she had been discreet.

Laura notices the look on the woman’s face, and the hard to miss sweat coating her forehead and neck. “God, I swear my clothes are like…superglued to my body.”

To which the marine replies with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Don’t say anything,” Laura warns as she emphasis every word slowly. Carmilla shrugs and feigns innocence – both of them laugh as they march in tandem behind the group.

“We’re back, baby!” Lafontaine hollers, earning resounding ‘oorah’s’ from the unit as they all make their way towards their respective bunks.

Exactly 19 minutes later their unit meets in the briefing room; new faces along with familiar ones crowding the seats. The room’s light is solely supplied by the overhead projector. Every sailor, soldier and marine had thrown their jackets on the back of their chairs, but it didn't made a difference as the heat in this room was nearly suffocating.

“Welcome to the portal to hell: where whatever instrument you got down there is sure to be sweaty as fuck. Don’t ya love the smell in here? Take a deep breath, ‘cause the quicker you get used to it, the better.” He waits for the laughter to settle down before he continues, “Now I know y’all probably don’t give a shit what happened here during your off time, so I’ll make it quick.”

Their general goes through slides of several new IED’s, bombs and other carefully hidden explosives the extremists groups had recently developed. “Ya know as well as I do that these fuckers keep comin’ up with new ways to blow our fucking body parts off – and thankfully we have skilled medics amongst us, but it ain’t an excuse to step on ‘em like fuckin’ retards.”

Danny reads the slides carefully, as this is going to affect her ground unit directly. She makes a mental note to debrief with her team and the bomb squad to formulate a safe plan of action before they even think of heading out.

The Petty Officer made a promise to never let anyone else die under her supervision because of a roadside bomb, even if it means filtering every square inch of their safe evac route daily.

“Lawrence, I trust you can take care of that?” The general gears his question towards the tall woman.

“Yes, sir!” She replies quickly.

“Good. Now we’ve also came up with some rough coordinates for possible enemy camps, and I was thinkin’ the air squad could get that done. Karnstein? I know you’re med evac but heck I like the way you fly ,girl.”

“They won’t even know we’re there, sir.” Carmilla smirks and nods confidently.

“Take notes kiddies; this shit I like to hear!” He claps his hands together and closes the monitor. The overhead neons open, the abrupt switch to the heavy flood of lights seem to wake up a few drowsy soldiers. “Alright, that’s it. The coffee hasn’t gotten any better but the desserts have so If I don’t see every single person in here running every morning, I’ll come wake you up personally. Understood?”

“Sir, yes sir!” is heard in unison and followed by the very common ‘Oorahh!’.

“Good. Now scram.” He leaves them without saying another word.

Danny stands up and joins the rest of the gang at Lafontaine’s table. Most of the marines dispersed; others remained as they waited for further instructions from their superior officers. Like Danny’s unit for example, but hell, they could wait, she silently muses. “Night shift eh? Guess there are the lucky ones and then there’s me,” the sailor announces smugly.

Lafontaine agrees and scoffs. “Yeah, lucky you. You won’t have to put up with Laura’s screaming.”

“What?” both Laura and Carmilla reply in unison.

“I’m happy you two finally figured it out, but you could be mindful of the ones around,” Laf answers and feigns distaste. Though they truly are happy to _hear_ it was going well between the two, but being an unwanted spectator to their nightly activities was a kind of an awkward situation they did not want to face regularly.

Danny, however hurt she was – because truthfully she would always love Laura – couldn’t hold on to past bitterness anymore as Laura’s happiness is all she really ever wanted.

“W-well at least I’m getting some!” She regrets saying that as soon as it leaves her mouth. _Ugh, is this really happening to me? Of course it is! You have such great luck!_

“So are we,” Laf reminds her with an amused expression and a raised eyebrow as their gaze bounces between Danny and Carmilla (the marine looks like she was about to burst into laughter at any moment).

“Whatever.” Laura grabs the front of Carmilla’s tan shirt and roughly pulls her towards the tent’s exit. (Yeah, Laura notices too).

“Hey, woah, what’s going on?” Carmilla asks, a few winces here and there from how agitated her fresh wounds on her chest are, but receives only radio silence as an answer. “Laura, are you really bothered by this?”

Finally, she stops when they reach a semi-private area between two tents. Probably the mechanic shop, she figures. “So you think it’s just a joke too? ‘Ah ha Laura’s found another-“ Her mouth is closed shut by an hand gently covering it. She glares down at the offending hand and gazes upwards into Carmilla’s amused face. There was something else there as well, affection maybe? Most likely. 

“Who gives a shit what they heard?” She removes her hand from Laura’s mouth to at least give her the chance to reply. Her breathing relaxes considerably, and Carmilla figures it's safe to take the muzzle off the bulldog, so to speak. She’d never be caught dead saying that out loud to Laura, however.

Laura sighs and steps closer to the marine, who responds by moving her arms around Laura’s waist. “It’s just…Is it so hard for our private lives to you know, remain _fucking_ private?”

 _Oh God, I love it when she swears. Wake up, Karnstein, she asked a question._ “Look around cupcake; we’re on a camp filled with idiots. If you didn’t catch that, what I meant is that’s very unlikely.” She still didn’t seem convinced, in fact, she looks angrier. “People talk Laura, they always do. There’s no use in letting it bother us because it’s a childish guessing game that really doesn’t define reality at all.”

Laura chuckles, though she resents it very much. “Fine, they’re off the hook. For now.”

“Though, you should really do something about that screaming…”

“You’re such a fucking ass.” She grabs the woman again, this time, leading them towards her bunk.

“Oh, punish me Laura,” Carmilla teases in her ear and chuckles when she saw the goosebumps on her neck.

Laura’s pace suddenly increases. If they didn’t get any sleep then, their night shift is going to be very unpleasant. But really who needs sleep? Decisions are made - pleasurable ones.

* * *

“Oh how’ve I’ve missed you,” Lafontaine and Laura are witnessing a very rare display of affection between Carmilla and a recon helicopter. Watch, as these two creatures interact in their natural habitat. “Look at this beauty, guys, it’s a UH-60.” She didn’t even turn to look at either of them. “I can’t wait to ride you,” she whispers a little too seductively, as she runs her hand along the helicopter’s outer shell.

“Eh, Carm?” Laura asks, both mildly amused and sort of jealous of this inanimate object her lover is so interested in.

Lafontaine chuckles, as they stare at Laura’s confused face and then moves their gaze to Carmilla’s enamoured one. “Hey, Romeo, I think Laura’s feeling a little underappreciated here.”

“She should, I’m getting my hands all up in that.” Without another word, the marine takes her seat in the Blackhawk and secures her flight helmet to her head.

Laura finds it extremely endearing, if not a little annoying, how Carmilla is able to truly appreciate her work that way. That's what drew Laura to her in the first place. “Did I seriously just lose sex appeal because of a freaking plane?”

“It’s a helicopter!” is yelled from the cockpit.

“Yep, I think you just did,” Laf concludes as they follow Laura and enter through the side doors; into the belly of the beast.

Carmilla punches a few buttons, flip a few switches and turns a few knobs. The rotors slowly start their acceleration, the noise they make barely noticeable. Carmilla catches a glimpse of Laura behind her. She opens the coms and motions for Laura to grab a headset. When it's firmly on her head, Carmilla says, “You’re more beautiful than any machine I’ve ever flown.”

Laughing, Laura places her hand over her head and swoons in a much exaggerated manner. “Take me away! Show me the stars!”

Carmilla laughs out loud, and points to the seat beside her. “Take a seat in front, Sergeant.”

“Are you sure, Carm? Laf-“

“Nah go ahead,” comes the third voice through their headsets. Lafontaine settles comfortably in the back in a very relaxed pose: placing both of their hands behind their head, letting them hold the weight. “I wouldn’t want to come between this messed up love triangle.”

With a shrug Laura moves to the front seat, though not before punching Laf’s shoulder, who pouts in return. When Laura is comfortably seated with the seat belt secured around her waist and shoulder, she directs a brilliant smile towards the pilot.

Carmilla hadn’t taken her eyes off Laura yet. “Yep, breathtaking.”

“Gross,” Laf supplies, happy they were out of range of Laura’s playful punches.

“Says the one who married their high school sweetheart and popped out a kid,” Carmilla’s retort was coupled with a smirk.

“Details, details.” They wave off, feeling disinterested in the matter.

The pilot notices Laura appears overwhelmed at the amount of buttons and switches on the dashboard, so she proceeds to explain a few of them as she slowly got them off the ground.

“Calling November Victor, Steel Alligator requesting permission to leave base with two passengers. Over.”

“ _This is November Victor; permission granted steel alligator. Over.”_

“ETA roughly 57 minutes. Over and out.”

As they reach the five thousand feet mark, Carmilla makes a sharp left, almost turning the machine completely vertically before straightening out again. She hadn’t flown this bad boy in a while, usually flying larger aircrafts, and found it to be a true delight.

It manoeuvres smoothly, cut corners better than its smaller counterparts and best of all, it hardly made any noise. Plus, badass destructive weapons as a bonus.

Lafontaine turns off their headset, wanting, or rather needing, the quiet. As their mind is a worse war zone than this area. Perry’s question had been clear. They need to make a decision and fast, but are they ready to live their work behind for good? Or at least, for something more family oriented?

They turn to watch Laura and Carmilla interact. The two women gave off an aura of happiness and comfort, something Laf remembers they had with Perry long ago. Why can't their relationship be this simple? And, for a brief moment, Laf wonders if Carmilla knew Laura had been snooping. The way she looks at the other was rather comforting, but there was something off, something behind the eyes, that the marine saw. They just couldn't put their finger on it. Yet.

Their thoughts are pulled back into their head as they are too pulled back into reality when they feel Carmilla make a sharp turn and then slowly descend. Quickly, they open their headset only to hear the pilot say “Cut off all coms.” Lafontaine rolls their eyes yet did as they are told.

_She must have found the camp._

The Gunnery Sergeant peaks out of the window, but could only see come faint lights that resemble stars in the night’s sky.

After a few shorts minutes, Carmilla pulls them back up to a high altitude and the coms were live once more. “Steel Alligator to November Victor.”

“ _Go ahead,”_

“Mission is a go. Returning to base with two passengers. Over.”

“ _Copy that Steel Alligator. Have a safe trip back to mother base. Over and out.”_

Carmilla and Laura share a high five before they both turn back to send a thumbs up at Lafontaine, who reply with a peace sign.

“It’s so gorgeous here at night,” Laura breathes, astonished at the view in front of her.  _I have the best job in the world._

“It’s pretty green on my end.”

Laura chuckles, wondering how Carmilla could wear night vision goggles for so long. They usually gave her a massive migraine. “That was some good work, Corporal.”

“You were a pretty decent co-pilot if I do say so myself.”

Lafontaine roll their eyes; they so didn’t need to be around this lovey dovey attitude. This was going to be a long tour if a decision isn't made quickly.

* * *

 

Scattered breathing and cut off groans with the sounds of bodies hitting objects in their way – like oh say, walls – are heard in Carmilla’s bunk. Laura had Carmilla pinned against her door, their mouths hungrily moving against one another as if Laura absolutely needs Carmilla’s tongue in her mouth to survive.

Carmilla’s hand is already making its way down her pants, an impatient hand quickly shoves Laura's panties to the side because who the fuck had time to take them off? Laura’s hands move behind marine’s head, fingers gripping the thick hair tightly. Their lips separate, but not completely, as Carmilla’s fingers enter her roughly.

“Carmilla,” escapes the sailor's trembling lips. A name spoken with passion and desire. To the woman it belongs to, however, it was like a slap in the face.

For a reason unbeknownst to Laura, Carmilla stops moving altogether and even removes her hand away.

“If you’re trying play tease, now’s really not the _fucking_ time, Carm. Pun _sooo_ intended.” She goes to lean in again, but is met with nothing but cold air.

“I’m sorry, I can’t.” Her guilt weighs heavily on her chest, her guts desperately wanting to spill out what she couldn't. She beat them to the punch.

“What the-“ Laura pulls back and opens her eyes to come face to face with the marine’s distraught expression. “What’s wrong, Carm?”

“I asked Betty for help,” her eyes demand pity even before she casts them on Laura.

“To do what?” Laura frowns, her heart beating erratically in her chest and not because of Carmilla’s kisses this time.

“To keep Todd- _Sherman_ locked up for good,” she admits thickly. _Saying it out loud really makes me feel like a fucking jerk._

Laura’s mouth remain open for a moment, before anger seethes in her blood and her teeth grit together dangerously. She slams the palms of her hands back against Carmilla’s chest harshly to push her away, causing a far more painful expression on Carmilla's face as she is roughly pushed back against the wall. “And you’re telling me this now, you asshole?”

“Look, Laura, I-“

“Don’t you dare speak right now,” she practically yells, her body trembles with anger rather than pleasure now. “What happened to ‘oh you wouldn’t understand Laura, it isn’t your fight Laura?’ Who gave you permission to make decisions like this for me?”

Carmilla cringes at the words and unconsciously rubs the scars on her knuckles. “He made it my fight, and you know it’s the right thing to do.”

“Oh so you think you were there for one night that the rest of my life is an open book to you? Like you even understand what I went through? You shut me out for this exact reason – I can’t believe this. I can’t believe you…You fucking hypocrite!” Laura was full out yelling now, her face resembling a volcano about to burst.

Before Carmilla can say anything else, Laura leaves without saying another word, not like she could as her throat starts to constrict painfully, her breathing becoming erratic.

She stops when she rounds the building, and places a hand on the wall next to her. Her body is bent over as she attempts to fight the relentless darkness wanting to swallow her whole.

Carmilla sighs and closes her bedroom door; the more she looks at it the more it seems offending to her. She sends a punch into the hardwood, the pain barely registering. She leans her forehead against the door for a while, not knowing what to do or feel.

Laura is right. She is a hypocrite. A really shitty one too.

A few seconds pass and she thinks, _aw fuck it._ Carmilla runs around outside, skidding to a halt when she sees Laura hunched over against the building, looking two seconds away from passing out. “Holy sh-“ She runs to her side, grabbing the woman in her arms. Laura let’s all her weight drop on her and they both fall on their knees into the dirt-covered ground.

The marine readjusts Laura into a more comfortable position against her chest. “Hey come on Laura, just breathe.” It wasn’t the first time Carmilla is witness to one of her break down panic attacks and once again she feels like a complete jerk for being the reason it's happening.

Carmilla grabs her face, bringing Laura eye level with her. Laura looks like she wants to fight her off, but really there was nothing she could do in her current state. “It’s okay, I’m here, and I’ve got you. Just breathe Laura. Relax.” Laura’s forehead presses against hers and Carmilla holds her in this position until the darkness trying to engulf her spits her back out harshly.

Laura pulls back sudden and quick, both of her hands tightly holding the material of Carmilla’s shirt on either shoulder. There was a fire in her throat that reminded her of the bitter taste panic attacks have on her. Even if her body responds to to her partner’s soft caress, she can’t bring herself to even look at her.

Carmilla smiles, relief flooding her features, entirely missing Laura’s body signals that are clearly screaming: leave. Now. “Welcome back. You okay?”

Laura finally makes eye contact, and when she does, her glare never leaves the marine’s chocolate brown eyes. “Good, considering,” is spit out harshly as both a warning and a defence mechanism.

“Laura, I’m sorry. I should have-“

“Don’t you dare apologize to me. And what you should have done is _nothing_ ,” Laura pushes Carmilla away and stands up, swatting the dirt away from her BDU pants.

Carmilla stops herself from falling and stands up after Laura, swiftly grasping her wrist when she moves to leave. “Don’t leave Laura, please.”

 _Believe me Carm, I want nothing more than to stay with you._ “So you want me to stay here all shacked up with you like nothing happened? Like you didn’t just stab me in the front while you smiled and smirked that smug way you do like nothing’s wrong? ‘I’m here for you Laura, I’ll protect you from your big and bad father because I can’t control what happened to me; so I'll control your life instead-” was said in one long and angry breath before she's interrupted.

 _Ouch._ “Enough!” Carmilla silences her with a commanding shout. “I told you before, our situations are _very_ different. I figured if you were too scared to do it, then I could do it for you. I'm not trying to make you into Will!”

Laura is drained, completely. She didn’t want to shout or fight anymore. She just wants to curl up in bed and pass out. She shrugs out of Carmilla's hold with a jerk of her hand.

“Don’t leave Laura, please.” Her pleas fall to deaf hears, or so it seems, as Laura remains unresponsive. “I’ll even sleep on the floor, come on, just stay. We’ll figure it out in the morning.” _I’ll fix it, I promise._

“Not only are you a hypocrite, but you’re out of your fucking mind.” Laura scoffs as she turns to leave again, showing Carmilla her rigid back instead of her tears. “Good night, Carmilla.”

Carmilla watches her go, shell shocked into silence. “Fuck!” She finally yells, kicking the dirt on the ground and watches it fly all over, scattering like the fragile line of trust that was just broken between her and Laura.

_Bad decision Karnstein, bad decision._

 


End file.
